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6.9.14. – Uncle Vinny

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Happy birthday to my not so little brother! We’ve come a long way from me almost getting you bit by a snake in the backyard on Beth page Dr.! Jax couldn’t ask for a better uncle! #HappyBirthday #UncleVinny #OldMan #SnakeAttack #SitOnThatRockItWillBeFine #Tattoo #DudeWakeUpThisGuyKnowsWhatOurTattooMeans

Jackson, as you grow to know Uncle Vinny you will begin to understand just how much he marches to the beat of his own drum. And that’s a good thing. I know you will be able to call on him when you need advice, like I’ve always been able to. He’s someone you’ll always want on your side and would always be the first person I called on for help. I hope one day you will be lucky enough to know what being a brother means. But for now, one small piece of advice, when Uncle Vin tells you he’s “going to pay you back”… Get it in writing!”

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6.8.14. – Hurdle Champ

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As a new dad, part of the excitement is sharing your passion for sports with your child. I can not wait to play catch with my son for the first time, shoot hoops or toss around a football. But for me there is just something about being able to say my son saw me hurdle that I have been really excited about. The BHS Alumni Track Meet allowed for just that this past weekend. Although there’s no way I can compete with the 18 year old me going over the hurdles, I still cleared them all and fought off all challengers to defend my throne! A Gold medal- 1st place finish with my son watching was an incredible feeling. I’m glad you were able to be there with me Jax.

Now if I might just share an aside here… Sportsmanship is supremely important to all athletes, but not at the expense of doing your thing out there! I think there must be some aura that still shines brightly around me, because I felt the fans cheering and the reporters’ cameras clicking as I coasted over those 10 barriers. As I crossed the finish line I felt as if it were 1998 again. Then I just upped and left… Said my goodbyes, gathered up the kid and wife and walked off victoriously into the sunset. Now that’s a Power Move if I’ve ever seen one. Show up, Dominate, then disappear mysteriously and let the people remember you as a legend.

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6.8.14- What do Jax and Outkast Have in Common

Mima pulled the ole Switch-a-roo this weekend on Jax. Subbed in some formula when he wasn’t looking, Surprisingly he had no issues (special allergy free $9000 bottle of formula, he better like it). And he did, he liked it!

Jax may like it, but daddy does not enjoy the formula diapers! Those things are radiation material and will straight up melt your face. As the great OutKast would say… Stankonia.

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6.6.14. – Throw Back Thursday

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Some more #ThrowbackThursday for ya Jax!!! You were -Negative 1 Month old here.

Calculating age is confusing for me. You’d think 3 college degrees would be enough to figure this kinda stuff out on your own, but clearly it’s not. I don’t get it. It’s fundamental math and sounds easy enough… Kid is born he’s 1 day old… But then people start counting in weeks and months and to me they never calculate right. To be fair though, I’m not one who has the time to pay attention to this stuff. Stuff us common folk don’t have the brain power to understand, as if it’s some sort of 4th dimensional rocket science. If you need to know Jax age… Just ask Stef. Thanks.

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6.3.14.

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I had stuff to do and needed free hands… And they say when you become a parent you become very resourceful. Case in point, leave the baby in the car seat, put him on the counter so the dogs don’t eat him and use a kitchen towel to prop up the bottle. There you have it, baby eats and I get crap done.

It’s like one of those automatic feeders for your ferret or cat, but for a miniature human. Worst case scenario here Jax, mom reads this blog entry and bugs out, leaving my parenting privileges suspended with supervised visitation rights, best case scenario, she applies the same technique and I get bonus points for using the lighthouse towel to match the “nautical” ⚓️ theme in your nursery. Keep your fingers crossed.

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Jax and I also got matching shirts today. I’m running on empty folks! But it’s so worth it!

Just as a heads up… I love this little dude!

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6.2.14. – Twizzlers are Made From Soy?!??

So today we found out our little man is allergic to MILK & SOY. They say it’s common, but it’s still hard to deal with. You wish health and happiness for your child for the 9 months he’s cooking up in the womb and then he comes, you count 10 toes and 10 fingers and you hear that cry and you feel amazing. You never realize how many hurdles and milestones there are throughout the first few years. The love you feel for your child is so extreme that helplessness sets in… I hate feeling helpless.

I hate even more knowing that Jax will miss out on some of the world’a greatest joys. What an awful feeling to look at you son, so small and so innocent knowing that he’ll never be able to enjoy a bowl of frosted flakes or a slightly melted cup of rocky road ice cream.

PS: Mom is struggling with the fact that she can’t eat Twizzlers anymore… Who would have thought there was anything more than sugar and nastiness in those disgusting red sticks.

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6.1.14 – To Grandmother’s House We Go

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First trip to Mima and Grandpa Pete’s house this afternoon.
Things we learned:
-Baby massages cost $75
-Babies can’t scratch their own butts
-Apparently I breed spiders in the basement
-Daddy has passed on his ability to fart excessively to Jax
-You can get gang green on your junk
-Puppy eye boogies are delectable

As an aside… There is never a good time to hear your own mother (Mima) talk about penis and hickeys.

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5.31.14. – Mambo #5

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Took Jackson to his first party this afternoon. (Happy 1st birthday to Jax’ homeboy Cameron!). Hate to say it but Jax stole the show. Kid took cute to a whole ‘nother level today. I mean literally was dressed out of his mind… Suspenders and bow tie? Baby Jordan’s? Come on Now… Jackson had his first taste of Fragola swag. He was pulling girls in his sleep at this event.

No really literally in his sleep… Slept almost the entire time (4 hours, I’ll regret that tonight at 3AM.)

Either way the chicks were all over him. Just throwing words like cute, adorable, handsome and amazing around like they were every day adjectives. Gotta say kid just has “IT”.

So I was thinking, Kiddie parties for toddlers must be like going to the club on a Friday night for a college kid. There was so much lady love there for Jax. It was like a freaking Lou Bega song up in that bounce house…
A little bit of Monica in my life,
A little bit of Erica by my side.
A little bit of Rita’s all I need,
A little bit of Tina’s what I see.
A little bit of Sandra in the sun,
A little bit of Mary all night long.
A little bit of Jessica here I am.

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5.30.14. – Table for Two… and a Half?

First time out to dinner since the two of us became the three of us (not including thre dogs of course). Literally put on a Broadway production trying to figure out how you are supposed to attach a car seat to the HighChair. After fighting a losing battle I just get you shoved btwn the regular chair and table.

As soon as we get ourselves situated you simultaneously spit up and poop yourself. Dinner is off to a good start.

Fast forward 3 minutes which is as fast as it’s taken any human to ingest fried mozzerlla, linguini with meatballs and scallop rizzotto and you have a relatively quiet ans peacefull evening out.

I’m not really sure the proper infant etiquette yet for social situations. I feel bad but at one point I shushed the table next to us for singing happy birthday too loud.