Percentage of where my son’s puke wound up after leaving his body:
18% brand new NY Yankees comforter
22% newly cleaned carpeted floor
3% bucket for puking in
5% on Max (approximately 3% of which was licked off by Buster)
45% down my back
5% my arm
I consider myself to be an expert… a connoisseur of sorts when it comes to father-son bonding time… camping, fishing and working on cars. No I’m just kidding I don’t do any of those things. But watching Yankees and Packers games, reading Harry Potter books and making pancakes? Check, check, check and check! There are not many things I’ve missed. But honestly most of my father-son bonding is just plain old father-son time. Just spending time is time enough for me.
The thing about having kids though… sometimes when you think you’ve seen it all… sometimes that’s when they can surprise you the most. Sometimes, every so often, they do something so out of the blue that you just have to sit back in awe trying to find the right words to describe what just happened.
When I went to bed last night, I never could have imagined the special experience waiting for me before I even hit my REM sleep. It was a new bonding experience to say the least.
As my eyes began feeling like lead weights and my eye lids could not hold themselves open for one more second… I heard the cry, “Daaaaaaadddddddyyyyyy. I cleaned many messes in my day, and I’ve prepared myself for most of them knowing what I was getting myself into before even seeing it. But nothing would ever prepare me for the chunks that were blown all over me.
This event. This night I’m sure… will haunt me for the rest of my life. At one point there was just two of us who had survived PUKE-AGEDDON. Now there just one.
There are not enough words to express what happened to me, to Jax… and in a broader context what happened to our house. It wasn’t what I would consider a “normal” bonding experience… hell anytime you get puked on, its not “normal.” Then again parenting in and of itself rewrites the book on what “normal” really looks like. Getting thrown up on at 2:00am, and just persevering through it, acting like you’ve been there before…
Maybe getting puked on is the new normal… maybe its not even the new normal… maybe its just my NORMAL, it is at least a normal bonding experience between my son and I at this point… Where else besides college is getting puked on par for the course?
GOD I LOVE PARENTING!