Happy Second Birthday Oliver

Two years old? Like how is that possible. (I mean I know how it’s possible in a literal sense… but still, I just can’t believe it. Thank you to an amazing mom who has done everything for this happy, healthy little man… a very caring older brother who has not one time pushed him down a flight of stairs… a loving Bammy who has helped to raise this little man. His Auntie buys him more clothes than any child needs and his Mima continues to buy him those damn remote control Magic Track cars which drive me crazy… thanks for that and thanks to all the amazing family and friends who have contributed in one way or another.

Dear Oliver,

I’m not sure what it’s like being the youngest or the second born. I was the oldest and loved that role, but I can imagine it’s not always easy being the little guy. Then again you are almost as big as your brother, so I’m not so sure how much longer we can use the phrase “the little guy.”

I guess the first thing I need to say is thank you. You have been an amazingly perfect blessing to mom and me. You have brought so much joy and happiness to everyone around you. Your huge smile and whimsical personality. You walk in and you light up the room. People are in a better mood when you are around. It’s unreal how much joy a little boy’s giggles can bring to so many people.

You’ve given your brother a best friend and especially someone to get in trouble with, although at times I suspect Jax is the one blaming you for his trouble, but that’s what older brothers are supposed to do! I love watching you two play together. I love watching how your eyes light up when you see him. I think Jax is a happier little boy because of you. You just do that to people. You make everyone better… happier.

You’re already such a sweet and caring little boy. You show kindness and compassion at such an early age it makes us forget how young you still are (I’m sure the fact that you eat like a grown man I’m sure contributes to that as well). You’re going to be a momma’s boy for sure, don’t get me wrong… being a momma’s boy is a great thing… just look at uncle Vinny.

Please keep your smile as big as it always is… your laugh as loud and continue to be inquisitive about the world around you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, when you say sorry- mean it, be kind to strangers and animals and love your mother and brother. If you do those things you’ll always be in a good place.

I’m proud of you. I love you and I’m so thankful you came into our lives. Happy birthday (not-so) little guy

Love always,

Dad

Mr. Steal Yo’ Fries

  
Having a kid finally paid off… Went to dinner tonight with the family.  Nice establishment.  Market Place in Woodbury.  “From farm to table.”  

Ordered myself a gargantuan ribeye… garlic mashed and some string beans. Amazing.  But what kind of guy orders fries to go along with that??  No one does… So you just sit there and wish you had some fries to go with your juicy steak. Eyeing everyone around the restaurant who did order fries.  

What is a guy to do?  Umm… Hello… Order your son something from the kids menu.  Everything on the kids menu comes with fries.  Spaghetti and meatballs… Comes with fries, chicken noodle soup… Side of fries.  Jax loved his cheeseburger and four French fries… Dad enjoyed the rest!

Nothing better than eating french fries that you didnt even order. Makes you feel less unhealthy.

Dinner Time

 

Brothers bonding over the dinner table

 
So my son is apparently now into eating dog food? How? Why? I don’t even eat candy… and my kid wants to eat doggie kibble… Every time I think he is turning into a little mini me he goes and does something like this.

I don’t know… maybe I’m missing something? I mean dogs are the most amazing creatures on planet Earth. They basically dedicate their lives to make our lives better. Dogs were put on this planet to make us happy… You could leave the house for two minutes to get the mail and they literally great you like you’ve just gotten released from a 12 year prison sentence. Man’s best friend indeed.  

Maybe it’s the food? Maybe have Jax chow down on some organic chicken, salmon and sweet potato doggie pellets isn’t such a bad thing?  

PS: We’ve established that dogs were created to simply bring joy to humans… Meanwhile, cats were created to be smug assholes.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

You know things are bad when Buster brings you a chewed up spoon and he wasn’t even the one who did it

There are so many things that can wrong on a daily basis.  We’ve all seen them, hell we’ve all had them happen to us.  I know everyone reading this has slept through the alarm, backed into the garage door or said something you shouldn’t have when you thought you hung up the phone.

That’s life.  We were put on this earth to screw up and laugh at each other when we do.  However, what happens when you start screwing things up and it starts a chain of events likely to end in disaster?  I can’t tell you that it ain’t pretty because I lived through that tonight.

A simple attempt at face-timing while preparing two dinners, entertaining an 11 month old and remembering to feed to hungry dogs can turn any organized dad into a panicking lunatic. Even after putting in countless hours of supervision and surviving what at the time seemed like traumatic events never prepares you for a series of unfortunate events (great book series by the way).

After face timing former guest blogger Uncle Mike things got scary.  We had been off the phone for two minutes and things already began falling apart.  I left my dinner in the oven a little too long and it started smoking which caused the fire alarms to go off.   Jackson then proceeded to per all over me as I held him naked over his tubby that was overfilling and spilling everywhere.  This then resulted in  Buster and Max running in circles barking at the fire alarm and the crying baby!

Any normal human loses their mind at this point… like you’re done, you’ve checked out and gone to your happy place.  Not here though… not at Chromicles of a New Dad… here we laugh in the face of danger and run circles around the competition.  We don’t rest on our laurels (remember I’ve been called an internet blogging sensation as well as the song bird of my generation… Ok so I made those up… It’s my blog I can say what I want!).

The trick to solving all this… take a deep breath, and tackle one situation at a time, or just sit on the bathroom floor while the little guy is in the tubby taking a bath and pray that your wife gets home soon.

I’ll leave it up to you to decide what option I chose.