You’re an angry elf! #DinnerTimeAtTheFragsHouse #HungerGames #StabLife
I’m such a terrible human being.. I just ate the crumbs from dinner off my son’s lap. #MeatLoaf #Starving #Shame🔔 #ToasterLeavins
Ordered myself a gargantuan ribeye… garlic mashed and some string beans. Amazing. But what kind of guy orders fries to go along with that?? No one does… So you just sit there and wish you had some fries to go with your juicy steak. Eyeing everyone around the restaurant who did order fries.
What is a guy to do? Umm… Hello… Order your son something from the kids menu. Everything on the kids menu comes with fries. Spaghetti and meatballs… Comes with fries, chicken noodle soup… Side of fries. Jax loved his cheeseburger and four French fries… Dad enjoyed the rest!
So my son is apparently now into eating dog food? How? Why? I don’t even eat candy… and my kid wants to eat doggie kibble… Every time I think he is turning into a little mini me he goes and does something like this.
I don’t know… maybe I’m missing something? I mean dogs are the most amazing creatures on planet Earth. They basically dedicate their lives to make our lives better. Dogs were put on this planet to make us happy… You could leave the house for two minutes to get the mail and they literally great you like you’ve just gotten released from a 12 year prison sentence. Man’s best friend indeed.
Maybe it’s the food? Maybe have Jax chow down on some organic chicken, salmon and sweet potato doggie pellets isn’t such a bad thing?
PS: We’ve established that dogs were created to simply bring joy to humans… Meanwhile, cats were created to be smug assholes.
There are so many things that can wrong on a daily basis. We’ve all seen them, hell we’ve all had them happen to us. I know everyone reading this has slept through the alarm, backed into the garage door or said something you shouldn’t have when you thought you hung up the phone.
That’s life. We were put on this earth to screw up and laugh at each other when we do. However, what happens when you start screwing things up and it starts a chain of events likely to end in disaster? I can’t tell you that it ain’t pretty because I lived through that tonight.
A simple attempt at face-timing while preparing two dinners, entertaining an 11 month old and remembering to feed to hungry dogs can turn any organized dad into a panicking lunatic. Even after putting in countless hours of supervision and surviving what at the time seemed like traumatic events never prepares you for a series of unfortunate events (great book series by the way).
After face timing former guest blogger Uncle Mike things got scary. We had been off the phone for two minutes and things already began falling apart. I left my dinner in the oven a little too long and it started smoking which caused the fire alarms to go off. Jackson then proceeded to per all over me as I held him naked over his tubby that was overfilling and spilling everywhere. This then resulted in Buster and Max running in circles barking at the fire alarm and the crying baby!
Any normal human loses their mind at this point… like you’re done, you’ve checked out and gone to your happy place. Not here though… not at Chromicles of a New Dad… here we laugh in the face of danger and run circles around the competition. We don’t rest on our laurels (remember I’ve been called an internet blogging sensation as well as the song bird of my generation… Ok so I made those up… It’s my blog I can say what I want!).
The trick to solving all this… take a deep breath, and tackle one situation at a time, or just sit on the bathroom floor while the little guy is in the tubby taking a bath and pray that your wife gets home soon.
I’ll leave it up to you to decide what option I chose.