Oliver Potter and the Staci Miller Newborn Photos

I’m not sure if i have a writing style… if you had to narrow it down I know a few people might say my style is “grammatically horrible,” or “not really funny”… something like that. First Person Narrative… I guess that’s the closest you can get to narrowing down the writing. I mean the blog is titled Chronicles of a New Dad… I’d like to think I’ve Chronicled my perspective on having kids in a unique way.

But, today… I’ve decide to change it up a bit… I needed to tell someone thanks. Thanks for quite a bit actually. So I’m changing things up a little bit and am going writing letter style.

Dear Staci Miller (Photography),

It’s been almost three years since you came into our life… expensive Nikon camera, gorgeous props and the patience of a saint. Yes, early on in our relationship you had a different name… Pink Elephant… different but still amazing. And that’s just it… i needed to thank you for bringing amazing to life.

Not many people can take the thoughts that swim around in this weird brain of mine… take those abstract ideas and make them concrete. You’ve successfully, in essence, painting the pictures of my mind and put them on canvas. You’re an artist with a flash and lost of fluorescent lighting.

The thing is, that’s not even what makes these pictures a masterpiece. It’s the fact that you have to deal with me… a hyper… anxiety riddled parent who is obsessed with details. I’m the Jack Nicholson (As Good As It Gets Nicholson) of parenting during new born photos. OCD to the max.

You’ve taken photos of a wizards hat and wand… you successfully posed an infant on a giant piece of cheese and most impressive of all captured numerous shots while getting peed on. It’s impressive to say the least.

There was the time at the barn where Jackson got bit by a rooster, the time where we got you caught up in a beach wedding with Miller Highlife cans in the background, the session where I made you take pictures of my sons butt and the time my pants were too tight to help hold Oliver’s head up. I admit to ruining quite the few “perfect shots.”

You took pictures while my son puked on your floor, peed on your brand new background and shattered glass Christmas ornaments (ok the ornaments were my fault… and I may have eaten a few cheese sticks out of your fridge, but you catch my drift… we’re not easy subjects to photograph.

But that all pales in comparison to the latest sitcom-like experience. You know the one where I made you snap photos of my son inside a flower pot while he was screaming (purposefully making him cry, because that’s what Mandrakes do in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets… (which by the way is my least favorite book and movie).

You did it all with a smile on your face and 85mm – 135mm lens in your hand (is that a real thing I know nothing about cameras?). You always welcomed us in your home, or your studio or some random farm, which if I were you I’d suggest every time since then Jackson can’t eat all your cookies and string cheese.

And for some reason you keep having us back and the pictures get better each time we do. For that… I thank you… from the bottom of my Harry Potter loving heart.


And then the unprofessional, I should have been helping instead of sneaking pictures w my iPhone, pictures:

 

Here is the link to Jackson’s newborn photos: https://chroniclesofanewdad.com/2014/05/10/5-10-14-newborn-photos/

The “FROZEN” Tundra of Green Bay

As I sit here drinking my Luke warm coffee in my sleeveless packers tshirt, the pure delight like that of a kid on Christmas morning… For the greatest day of the year has finally arrived… It’s opening day… It’s GAME DAY… It’s the Packers first football game of the season today.  

Yet I can’t quite connect with my feelings. There’s something I can’t quite put my finger on… I should be Marching Parade around the house happy… In my Aaron Rodgers jersey doing push- ups on the back porch happy… Yelling “Go Pack Go” for all of the neighborhood to hear happy!!! But I just can’t get in the mood for some reason…

As I sit here writing and thinking and reflecting Jackson is chanting “FroFro” as the DVD ends… AGAIN. Because of that I have to go restart Frozen for the 7,853rd time today. Hang on… That’s it… Is that the reason it doesn’t feel like football yet? Because I’m watching an animated Disney movie on repeat?  

There has to be some sort of connection here. There’s no way my son… The son of a Green Bay Packers Owner, the same kid who knows no letters EXCEPT the letter “G”… Would choose Frozen over the NFL’s opening day. The Packers opening game. 

Wait a minute… Frozen… GREEN BAY? Frozen TUNDRA…? THE FROZEN TUNDRA OF GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN… THE HOME OF THE GREEN BAY PACKERS!  

… That’s it… This kid is a genius! Hit play on that DVD kid it’s time for some football!

#GoPackGo

A Christmas Story in our Front Yard

IMG_2730Poor little guy! #ChristmasStory #Randy #ICantPutMyArmsDown #DaddysGonnaKillRalphy

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Christmas Story is still the most overexposed yet underrated movie of all time. Just a straight up holiday tradition in our family. Christmas Eve = A Christmas Story marathon.

I’ve heard people talk about how it’s so overexposed and overplayed that it has lost it’s shine. Yes Turner Television owns the rights to this movie and basically plays it from Thanksgiving to Christmas on repeat and yes it’s one of the most quoted movies of all time. But to hear people say they don’t enjoy it anymore… Well fine… Don’t watch it; that means more Bumpus Hounds for me!

The thing is if you watch the film for nostalgia, it’s great. If you watch it as a family tradition, it’s perfect. But if you’re like me then you watch it for the supporting cast who make the movie what it is.

The Old Man…. Just an angry dad. He’s pissed at work, he’s pissed at the furnace and has one of the greatest quotes of all time: “Frah-GEE-lee … must be Italian.” (He’s also a Packers fan and calls the Bears the Chipmunks of Chicago!)

Mom… Mom is just that mom. The quintessential loving and overprotecting mom. Ralph’s swears… She makes him eat soap, but feels so guilty she tastes it too. Ralphy gets into a fight and she hides the truth from the old man. Through and through this mom is creating some good old fashioned Momma’s boys! Her reaction to The Old Man every time he says something stupid reminds me if how Steph looks at me when I try to tell her I know how to fix something.

Randy… Poor kid. Left behind, left out and overlooked, but leaves us with such memorable scenes as the one above, the “show me how piggies eat”, and his amazing reaction to his brother in a pink bunny suit. (Who hasn’t laughed at their siblings misery before?).

Honorable Mention: Flick…
Set off the TRIPLE-DOG-DARE craze and possibly Influenced an entire generation of people who were scared to death of getting stuck to anything frozen!

OCD on December 26th

As I sit here (finally) after six
hours of cleaning I am reflecting on how having a child completely changes your outlook on everything. First of all i really actually… For the first time ever completely and utterly did not care about one present or gift for myself.

I never really cared how much or what I got or was given, but it’s still cool opening your gifts and seeing what people thought you’d like. Plus it’s always nice to open something you really, really have been dropping hints about, but would probably never buy for yourself…

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And then there is the mess… This is an OCD’s W.O.R.S.T. Nightmare. There is literally STUFF everywherrrrrreeeeeeee!! I didn’t even see half of this stuff yesterday. Who the hell bought my son a freaking toy toaster!?!! Who bought him this creepy bear (that looks like Ted’s evil brother) that plays peekaboo with a handkerchief? As an aside Jax apparently loves making toast and playing peekaboo considering he’s been giggling at both of those toys all morning.

There is more cardboard in this room than at a baseball card manufacturing plant. The amount of wrapping paper and tape that is still stuck to every piece of furniture and the wood floor is extraordinary. Plus I’m not one to keep 657 snowmen decorations up too long after Xmas. It looks like Frosty threw up all over our first floor!

Time to get some of this organized! (I wish I got a cleaning lady for Xmas!)

Tree stays. Mantle stays. Other crap… Peace out ✌️