Son of Poseidon 🌊

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Photo Shoot #6738

Location: Crowded beach
Subject: Cranky 15 month old

Distrations: WT Wedding featuring women in wedding dress and cowboy boots, groom in plaid cargo shorts, NOFEAR t-shirt drinking BudLights.

So clearly the best parentinfg idea of the year is to bring a child who clearly hates the beach back to the beach for a photograph session.  We’ve done some less than intelligent things before as parents and we definetlely don’t stack up with the best “plan ahead” parents out there, but this might be the the one decision that sets us apart.

i just don’t know why he doesn’t like the water at the beach.  Loves the pool, loves the bath, hates everything else.  Maybe it’s the sand?  Maybe it’s the waves?  Maybe it’s just the 30 tons of litter that wash up on every damn beach now-a-days. I guess I’m not a huge fan of swimming with empty beer bottles, spare tires and someone’s steroid needle. (Luckily Hammonasset is a pretty clean beach).

Thank the lord for Pink Elephany Photography!  Staci is the most patient human in the world, and im not talking about being patient with a 15 month old… I’m taking about being patient with a 36 year old idiot father!

Jax was awesome! He loved the shells, and actual sat still and smiled for all his pictures… until this guy decided to pick Jax up by one leg and dangle him upside down for that all important “clowning around” shot. Well apparently children don’t like being dangled upside down over the open sea. Who woulda thought? Sorry dude.

So we luckily took some decent pictures before all the blood rushes to his head… Or before the wedding a few feet down from us shot off fireworks to celebrate their matrimony. Overall I think they came out pretty good. PINK ELEPHANT PHOTOGRAPHY always does a great job. Let me know if you want their contact info.

Here’s a few of the pictures. I’ll post the rest when we get them!!!

That’s Newport Livin’

The following events transpired over three days: August 3rd-5th… 

I need a vacation from our vacation. Don’t get me wrong getting away from the office and yard work even for a few days is great and all… It just might be more tiring than sitting in the office and doing yard work! (This was Jackson’s first time away since he started walking.)
Maybe we’re just the worst vacation parents ever, but bringing a one yet old to the beach is a nightmare. Honestly I don’t even feel bad for us, although my one beach day this year consisted of screaming at a tent that seemingly would give Bear Grylls fits and wiping sand out of every crevasse on this poor kids body). Those things I can deal with, a few deep breathes and a few IPAs make things a bit easier.

The kid hung tough though. He was a trooper… He definitely enjoyed the $17 chicken fingers and $9 water. He did not enjoy walking on sand that was hotter than walking on the surface of the sun. We made it through about two seagull attacks before calling it quits. I don’t think had ever been more excited to see his car seat.

I think we realized how really lucky we’ve been over the past 15 months (obviously because we have a healthy, happy baby) also because he’s been on a regular schedule and has been a great sleeper. We learned how a major change in schedule and being away from his own room and crib can effect a one year old… Because this kid literally went two days without sleeping!
That first night was something out of a Wes Craven movie. The screams muted the sounds of the ocean and tears washed away any hopes we had of getting any sleep. I think we handled it well and finally gave in about 2am, putting him in bed between us.

Aside: putting a child in bed with you is worse than anything I’ve heard… Not because “they get used to it and then become reliant on having parents in bed with him,” but because being in bed with parents = Amusement Park. I can’t believe how much energy a child can have at 2am. Where he called the power to complete hundreds of barrel rolls is beyond me. I think we fell asleep at 4:30- Steph on the bottom of the bed and me diagonally with my legs hanging off. 

You would think the next day he would be miserable right? Nope… Ball of energy… We walked the perimeter of the hotel what seemed like 12 times and he spent the rest of the morning and afternoon in the pool. Great thing about a baby with no sleep + sun + three hours of swimming = NAP.
THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION TAKES PLACE IN REAL TIME:

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He woke up at like 1:45 and started bugging out. So I picked him up and he passed out in the bed on me. I couldn’t move. I tried everything to get out. I considered gnawing my own arm off… But in the end I was finally able to wiggle free and at least move freely in my own room while the little man finally caught some Zzzzzs.

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He met his first vacation girlfriend… Monica… although it was tough he had to end it before we left… Long distance relationships are just to tough when you can’t even ride a tricycle to see each other!

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Overall, three days was just the right amount of time to get away.  Until next time, That’s Newport Living!

First Family Vacation 7.26.14. – 8.1.14.

1:45 PM This poor kid. But I guess that’s what you get when your mom packs you 73 outfits, all your swings and chairs and jumpers and bumpers and rumpers… An entire laundry basket… Bassinet, the stand, and ohh yeah… You.

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3:30 our first stop

I never knew what was inside a “family restroom?” There’s so much room for activities!! It’s freaking huge in here. However there is no where to change a kid! Hmm let’s install a “family bathroom”. Make it big enough to house an italian family reunion, but let’s not put a changing table in here. Totally. What are the chances a family w an infant will need to change a baby in here??!!

GET THE F OUTTA HERE with making me change my son on a dirty countertop.

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4:45 Stop Two

What better place to stop and feed a baby than the side of the highway.

By the way, who the hell puts a donation box on the side of the highway? Doesn’t seen like a great way to maximum donations… Right? Maybe Salvation Army knows something we don’t.  Do you Salvation Army…
Do you?

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First time with multiple little people in one house. Interesting.

Nap time sounded like Dueling Banjos.

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Wait so you’re saying that this spider was just itsy bitsy? And the rain came down and washed him out? Then he just came back and climbed that spout again? That’s crazy! #ItsyBitsySpider #WaitWhat #SoYoureSayin

Here cuz check this out… If you shake it it makes noise…
#Cuzzys #SharingIsCaring

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What else do u do at the beach? #SleepForDays #likefatherlikeson

Jax participating in his first mock draft w dad, uncle Mike & uncle Vic. #mrmcgibblets #MockDraft #FantasyFootball #vacation

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Changing a child on vacation happens where ever space can be found. Cape Cod was treated to many “dirty diapies” on the lawn in front of a church in Chatham, on the beach in So. Dennis, in the lobby at Chatham Bars Inn. But I think the biggest bang for our buck came with the “changing on the couch”. That firehose sprayed down the cushions… I’d say about 65,000 gallons a second were produced. That’s just Jax marking his territory. No biggie.

Sadly enough, I highly doubt that’s the grossest thing ever spilled on this couch… And that is how we leave Cape Cod 2014.