It finally happened. I finally have a child in the family that I can have fun with, rile up, teach to make farting noises and then send home… no further responsibilities, no worrying if he is going to tell his teachers where he learned to burp the alphabet from. I am now the cool uncle. That’s a huge responsibility.
I remember my “cool uncle”. He taught me to play Techmo Bowl and took me to the arcade is his silver Camero that would cause even most avid motor heads jealousy. Going for a ride in a four door Honda sedan might not be as cool as speeding through toll booths in an Iroc Z… and there may not be any arcades left around, but I know I can figure something out.
With that being said… here are some pieces of advice I got when I asked Twitter for help on being a cool uncle:
- Back off. Defer to the parents always.
- Make it clear you want to spend time with all of them, but be cautious about inviting yourself over.
- The parents are in charge, and your opinion doesn’t matter.
- If the parents say, “Peter, please don’t do that with our baby,” then obey them.
- spoil him rotten and ensure that he likes your favorite football (Go Pack Go) and baseball teams (Pinstripe Pride).
- With your decent, disposable income open a savings account for emergencies and/or higher education.
- give frequent small gifts, like a cool new flashlight.
All great advice for a new uncle… a new COOL uncle. Although I’m not sure who’s more excited over the new family member… me or Jax, who apparently after hearing someone exclaim they wanted to “pinch baby Dominic’s cute little cheeks,” has given his new cousin his official nickname: Baby Cheeks. Well I guess if Baby Cheeks is now officially part of the family that makes me officiant Uncle Pete. Or as Jax would say, Uncle Peep… or as I would say… Cool Uncle Peep!
Introducing my first Nephew: (I really hope I can afford a cool enough flashlight for him)
No those aren’t the speeds of a winning NASCAR race and no they aren’t Hermione Granger’s end of term exam scores. Those are Jackson’s temperatures over the course of today.
So many people today are trying to tell us that you don’t need to vaccinate your kids… that diseases of the olden days are things of the past. Well guess what… that’s not true at all. You know how I know… because my kid has leprosy. Oliver literally has to be quarantined ET style.
Apparently Hand, Foot and Mouth Desease is a real 21st century thing. It’s like actually something people get and apparently it’s not actually a deasease, but a virus… and the name? Come on… there has got to be something better to call it than Hand, Foot and Mouth?!!? Right?!?? … listen, it’s not the dark ages… this isn’t Westeros… we have cures for things… we can send people to the moon, we can predict the weather years in advance, we have computers who are smarter than any human alive… yet my eight month old needs be locked up and quarantined like he’s a lepor… I’m just over here shaking my head.
It’s nights like tonight that help me understand why nan used to check on us with a flashlight while we slept 14x a night. Being up at 1:30am reading about #LasVegas is not good for someone with #insomnia…
So long ago (like three years) we were so excited to have a little crawler. I still remember the cheers and clapping like it was yesterday. But that excitement ended quickly. We were so concerned about the table corners and fireplace hearthstone. We bubble wrapped and rubber corner guarded literally the entire house.
And now… (Three years later) I’m watching my second son crawl around on the hardwood floor and chew on toys from who knows where. As I’m writing this something hard just bounced off the floor. I’ve narrowed the options down to the back of Oliver’s head, or… well, the front of Oliver’s head. Then again I don’t hear any crying. No harm, no foul.
There’s no bubble wrap, there are no corner protectors. There is a tiny carpet and to be honest. Most of the time he crawls out of sight… (out of sight- out of mind I guess). That’s what is going to make this kid a beast. He’s not overprotected. He probably won’t own a helmet for his bike. As a matter of fact he probably can just start putting himself to bed when he wants.
All joking aside… I’m so proud that this little chubbers is mobile. He’s growing up so damn fast. It’s kind of scary… even if hearing his head bounce off the floor isn’t. 😳
This is before Jax decided he wanted to measure how far Ollie could crawl and immediately before smacking himself and Oliver in the face w the tape measure.