Pizza Rat

Pizza Rat is an internet sensation based of of the most famous NYC rat since splinter taught those crazy turtles karate. The thing is… how can this brown rat carrying a slice of pizza down the steps of a New York City Subway station in Manhattan be any cuter than our very own (above) pizza rat?!????

The OG Pizza Rat

‘‘Twas the Night Before Kindergarten”

Twas the night before Kindergarten Oliver was asleep, his lunch was set out.

And mom and dad’s faces were in a pout.

His outfit was set on the dresser with care. In hopes that the school bus would quickly be there;

Both boys were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of breakfast danced in their heads;

And mommy in ‘PJs, and I in my shorts,

Jax was excited third grade means no more Covid Cohorts!!

When out in the yard there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon shown a shadow on the still of the pool

I yawned and I shivered in the late summer cool.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a memory of a child so small we shed tears.

We cried and we sobbed while we packed up his bag  

We were exhausted and beat, time to wave the white flag. 

We spoke not a word, but went straight to sleep,

We laid down with questions, but knew he was ready for this leap.

Yes, we were sad that our boy was growing so fast, 

But we knew it was time to move on from the past. 

While mommy and daddy wished time would go slow,

We realized Ollie was ready, it was time to let go.

So now as we lay, we wish him the best. 

All we can hope is mom and dad get some real rest.

Kindergarten Orientation

This dude right here is about to embark on a magical journey, in other words:

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.

There’s no doubt that this little guy isn’t so little anymore and all joking aside, if kindergarten orientation is any indication of how this school year is going to go, sign me up for the Gilligan Island’s Theme Song, because Oliver and his preschool now kindergarten friends are going to cause all sorts of high jinx!

Harry Potter and the the Goblet of Fire (Part Four in our Read Aloud

This blog entry will Chronicle (pun intended) a father and son’s continuation of the first time reading the Harry Potter series together. We finished Book One, Two and Three now will move onto Book Four: Harry Potter and the the Goblet of Fire. I’ll update it after each chapter so that I can capture the most memorable moments. Come back often and check in on our progress and leave us a note or some feedback!

I hope you enjoy the journey as much as I know Jax and I will.

Chapter 1: The Riddle House

(The first few chapters Jax asked if he could “talk to text” his summary of the chapter. Why not, right?)

I was reading the chapter 1 the Riddle House and I was wondering what going to happen right away. So, when my dad read me the first page it made me, kind of like happy, and then I thought this book was going to be good, but then what he said and the next page made me kind of suspicious about what this chapter might tell us.

We read on the next page that all the Riddle family were all killed by something and I thought they’re the gardener Frank that takes care of their house when they’re gone.

Everyone in the town thought he killed them so they arrested him and then they and then they were like you’re innocent and you didn’t do anything, so they let him go!

One night after getting out of jail, Frank woke up and the lights were on in the house and there were people jumping around the house and they were like those ‘darn kids again’ he thought. So, he went to the house and he wasn’t kids. There was a fire and then he went upstairs he looked inside a small opening of a door in a bedroom. He looked and he saw a weird man that had his face covered and a man that looked very old and looks and sounds like a rat. (We met them in the last book… The Prisoner of Azkaban… Peter Pettigrew.

Then a weird snake walked into the door and then the strange man that had the hood on said how are you doing Nagini. Nagini was the snake… so Nagini who was now in the room told the man with the hood that there was somebody waiting outside listening to all they were talking about so then the man opens the door and said come in man.

So Frank walked inside and then what he saw was the last thing he ever saw in his life… a green flash!!!!! And then just like that, now he’s laying on the ground, dead.

DEAD AS EVER!!!!

Chapter 2: The Scar

Yes, we did HP newborn photos and added a scar

So Harry woke up with a SCREAM and was YELLING. The Dursley‘s were banging on the wall and telling him to… like, ‘shut up’ and he woke up and his Scar was burning more than ever!

When he woke up, he found a strange bird, he opened the window and found the bird was from Sirius Black! The letter said, ‘Hello Harry, I hope you’re having a good time, but I also know you aren’t really having a good time, because the stupid Dursley‘s are really rude to you.’

So, then Henry sent a note back that said, ‘Yeah I’m doing a little bit fine. But, my Aunt Petunia found Dudley smuggling donuts in his room yesterday. He’s on a diet so they took away his money and he threw his PlayStation out the window. Also, my Scar hurts really, really bad!’

Chapter 3: The Invitation

Not much really happen in this chapter, but I can tell you a little bit… So in Chapter 3 the Invitation, Harry got a letter in the mail from Ron that had about 38 stamps on it and there was just a little bit of writing in the middle. It said, ‘Harry we’re gonna come and pick you up to bring you to the Quidditch World Cup.

Chapter 4: Back to the Burrow

Harry woke up on a simple morning same as always, went downstairs and Petunia and Vernon commanded him to make breakfast. So it was a fight a normal morning until they heard something and the flames in the fireplace turned green, it was hotter and hotter in the room, he heard a whoosh, they saw legs… then they heard something that sounded like the Weasleys.

They were stuck in the fireplace! Mr. Weasley destroyed everything they were crumbs everywhere from the fireplace. Out spilled Mr. Weasley, Ron and the two twins Fred and George (you can’t tell them apart)!

As they were leaving Fred and George accidentally dropped some kind of magic candy. Dudley ate the candy one by one. Dudley ate all the candy and then his tongue grew 100 pounds! And the Dursleys were freaking out!!!

Chapter 5: Weasley Wizard Wheezes

The future Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes

Fred and George (the two twins), they love, love, love… (like, you can say love one million times????) love jokes. They once played a joke on their mother and they make fake wands and fart bombs. So now they decided to make a joke shop.

Chapter 6: The Portkey

“…Portkeys. They’re objects that are used to transport wizards from one spot to another at a prearranged time.”

Jax: “So dad, if anything can be a Portkey… can we use your weights from the basement, it’s not like you use them anyway!”

POSTSCRIPT: Also, click here for our other alouds:

Sorcerer’s Stone: Chapter by Chapter Read Aloud: https://chroniclesofanewdad.com/2021/07/01/harry-potter-and-the-sorcerers-stone-our-first-read-aloud/

Chamber of Secrets: Chapter by Chapter Read Aloud: https://chroniclesofanewdad.com/2021/09/24/harry-potter-and-the-chamber-of-secrets-part-two-in-our-read-aloud/

Prisoner of Azkaban: Chapter by Chapter Read Aloud: https://chroniclesofanewdad.com/2022/02/23/harry-potter-and-the-prisoner-of-azkaban-part-three-in-our-read-aloud-series/

Preschool Graduate

Our second child is graduating pre-school. Next year, he’ll be entering Kindergarten. I know, I know. You’re thinking, “Your baby is growing up!” Most parents get all teary at this revelation. In fact, the teachers gave parents tissues at the gate before the ceremony… all the parents in my son’s class get glassy-eyed when we talk about “graduating.” Especially those, like us, whose youngest child is the upcoming pre-school graduate.

Last week, mom wrote the last check we’ll ever write for preschool. For the better part of the last eight years, we’ve have had a kid in daycare or “preschool”. We loved our boys’ schools. Everyone one of them. Their teachers, their email updates during the day with pictures of our children interacting and having fun with their friends.

In preschool, there are programs for every holiday. Sweet little songs and children dressed up in costumes. Handmade Christmas gifts with photos of our kids and Mother’s/Father’s Day poems and stories and some very sketchy art projects that often resembled those ink blots that you see psychologists use in movies.

The best teachers ever!!!

The preschool teachers are family. They are more than one and done. They have watched Oliver grow from the time he was a few months old until now, in cap and gown accepting his preschool superlative Caring Classmate (I would have voted for Crazy Classmate).

Preschool graduation means no more hand-holding while walking into school. Oliver, our baby, will trade in the preschool drop-off, for the big, yellow school bus. His class size will double. We will say goodbye to the teachers who have known him since he was born. We will say goodbye to many of those hand made gifts. Kindergarten is the big time, but this time we’re ready. (Or at least we say we are). There is no doubt that Oliver is ready for the big time. He’s a leader, kind, helpful, FUNNY and his graduating class’ Caring Classmate.

Mom and I watched our baby on the preschool stage (wood chips) wearing a pint-size cap and gown, we sat through the slide show from the past five years, we saw pictures of our little boy across multiple rooms from his past five years, but the tears I anticipated didn’t come.

Instead this time, all I could do was smile and nod. This time, I was prepared, ready and confident that we did the best we could. I was confident that nothing can ever be totally planned and that the most important aspect in life is trusting that what got you to where are now will help you continue to succeed. So with that being said, Oliver keep being the caring, crazy classmate you are! Mom and I could not be anymore proud of the little boy you have become.

Oliver, you will be successful in whatever you do as long as you always put forth your best effort. Always be kind to others, treat those who need help with respect and kindness and never stop asking questions and learning from everyone you meet.

So with kindergarten on the horizon, I didn’t think I would be… but I’m ready this time. And, more importantly, so is our son.

Happy 8th Birthday Jackson

Dear Jackson,

Eight going on EIGHTEEN! Seriously, when I woke up this morning I feel like you had a full beard and were reading the Wall Street Journal. It’s insane to me how much you have grown. You are such an exceptionally hard worker, a fierce, fierce friend and most importantly a loving big brother.

Eight years after you were born and we (mom and I) are still amazed by you every single day. Yes, you drive us crazy, there is a lot more talking back and many, many more “No’s” than all those years ago, but we wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Covid has put a damper on so much of your childhood, but you continue to persist. Masks, virtual learning, vaccinations and social distancing are as much part of your birthday as cake and balloons. Yet, here you are… eight years old and still making the best of everything.

I’ve watched you pick up your brother when he falls, then push him back down five minutes later, then pick him back up again! I’ve watched Oliver have a meltdown and you try to calm him, then laugh. (Always with him, never at him… just like a big brother should do and I would know!)

You have become such a leader in your school and among your friends. You know right from wrong and always make sure to advocate for anyone that needs help.

Mom and I want nothing more than you to be happy, healthy and grow into a caring, kind and respectful young man… and if the past eight years are any indication… then you’re already there!

Happy Birthday, Jackson. We all love you very much!

Love Always,

Dad

April 27, 2014
April 27, 2015
April 27, 2016
April 27, 2017
April 27, 2018
April 27, 2019
April 27, 2020
April 27, 2021
April 27, 2022

“It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.” -Albus Dumbledore

Is My Kid Hallucinating?!!

We’re at the point in parenting children (in terms of a nighttime routine) where it’s not just dealing with diapers and trying to get them to sleep w out crying. Those infant stage all-nighters are expected when you have babies. They poop themselves and they want to eat that’s what babies do. But now we have older kids… no more babies. They are supposed to read a book and fall asleep peacefully.

Therefore, taking care of two children who are almost eight and five years old we expect nighttime cooperation. Unfortunately, these damn kids are at the age where they have learned that they have some power in the world, and they’ve decided to seize any opportunity to use it. We’re not surprised by our mini-negotiators saying anything to stall their bedtime—even if they’re about to fall asleep mid-sentence. That’s not an issue. I can deal with that.

But, this is different. This is every night at 1am… 2:30am… every night. They seek us out. They are just there. I don’t know how they get in our bed. I don’t understand the science behind being able to climb over us get under the blankets and not wake anyone up. They just do it. It’s magic, it’s sorcery. Somehow they just appear. Every. Goddamn. Night.

I wake up with either a foot jammed in my back, or with someone crying about a monster that might be in the closet, or bathroom, or on the roof. Listen, I respect that. I had my fair share of nightmares a kid. But, I’m starting to wonder if these stories are just made up. Legit, made up dreams to make mom and I just give in and let them stay in bed with us.

Case in point:

Last week… It was the middle of the night, and we were sound asleep (Steph had already abandoned ship after being up for hours trying to calm a miserable four year old who wanted to stay up and watch tv/ have a drink of water/ have a snack/ read one more book/ etc, etc, etc). I thought I had finally gotten a night of sleep only wake up at 3:30 to the sound of someone having a full on conversation in the bed. It took me a minute to realize it was Oliver talking to someone. I looked around to see who he was talking too. “Steph?,” I whispered. That’s when I realized we were alone.

I jumped out of bed and did whatever a guy needs to do when he believes his home is being invaded, (or his son is possessed), I screamed like a 14 year old seeing Harry Styles for the first time in concert. “Ok, everything is fine,” I said to myself. No one is here. No poltergeist or anything like that, right? But then I heard more mumbling… “Gyro [who is our neighbors’ dog] is barking! His face is right there, but it’s square?!!!”

My first thought: what the heck is he talking about?!? My second thought: Is my kid hallucinating?!!

That’s our life now… waking up to children in our bed at 2am talking about our neighbor’s dog. (And we thought the baby night time stage was hard). It’s exhausting, but the good news is I’ve read some advice from a parenting blog (clearly one that takes themselves way more serious than #ChroniclesOfANewDad. Their advise was:

“Carry your midnight wanderer back to their room every time they bust into yours. If you let them crash with you, you’re setting the stage for a never-ending bedtime battle. Consider hanging bells on your doorknob so you can hear your toddler coming; that way, you can walk them back to their room before they climb into your bed and make themselves comfy.”

“Walk them back, tell them to stay in their own rooms, carry them back yourself”… it’s not working here (there’s no way it’s happening anywhere). Everyone has advise, everyone has ideas until they wake up with child’s foot in their ear and a four year old talking to the next door neighbor’s dog!

“Every morning when I wake up, my first thought is, ‘When can I come back here?’ It’s the carrot that keeps me motivated. Sometimes going to bed feels like the highlight of my day. Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings.”

–Jim Gaffigan

The Baseball Rookie Card Business is Booming Thanks to a New Superstar’s Card

If baseball is America’s national pastime, then collecting baseball cards is a close second. People everywhere are searching every nook and cranny of their childhood home for those boxes and binders of cards! Could there be a Frank Thomas NNOF, or a mint Ken Griffey, Jr ’89 Upper Deck? Closets, crawl spaces, and attics across the country are full of cards from every era. Years ago, the Mantles, Ruths, Williams and others from the prewar days were stuck in bike spokes or lost forever as children grew out of the hobby.

Baseball card values depend on many factors, like age, condition, scarcity, and the collectible market trends at the time. Mantle’s Topps RC card recently set an auction record and sold for $5.2 million, people everywhere claim they have an original 1909 Honus Wagner T206 card. Every year there is a new card that sets the market on fire, a Mike Trout Gem Mint 10, an Ohtani Gold Foil, or a 1993 Jeter SP. There is always something new. Either way, few things for collectors elicit the adrenaline rush of finding a legend’s rookie card.

Obviosly, pulling a rookie card out of a pack of an up and coming superstars or finding a rare and expensive legend are especially coveted. Jackie Robinson first appeared on 1948-49 Leaf and Hank Aaron’s rookie card is in the 1954 Topps set. Roberto Clemente’s first baseball card is a 1955 Topps card and maybe the most famous baseball card, besides Wagner, is the Mantle rookie either his 1951 Bowman (which I prefer), or the aforementioned 1952 Topps.

Baseball card collectors have always had their own reasons for collecting. Some collect their favorite team, or player, but in recent years, a large push in the card industry has been the intentional investment in the rookie cards of unproven players, hoping they will become stars one day and that their card will skyrocket in value. Everyone is buying out the minor league top draft picks; Juan Soto and Robert Acuña are proving those collectors who invested early to be correct (and rich). They were the focus of the “new” collectors recently. That was until the newest and hottest card in decades was released.

On August 23, 2021 the hobby was turned upside down. A card was released that not only shows what some in the hobby say is the most handsome player to ever don a baseball jersey, but also say it could become the first $10 million baseball card.Introducing the most sought after card in the industry right now… Oliver’s 2021 Rookie Card:

Get it now folks… order on eBay, wait in line at Target, or take your chances in a razz. Either way get this kid now, before it’s too late.