Scientific Evidence 

There is this theory about lack of sleep.  It goes something like, “lack of sleep is horrible.”  I’m sure that is a theory based in scientific evidence and data collected over a substantial period of time which was studied by multiple people in across all fields of academia.  

I know I can support this theory with first hand evidence.  I have the progress monitoring data to show the “horribleness” (a scientific term) of lack of sleep.  Scientists and doctors are still studying the cause of this epidemic, but honestly they don’t have to look much further than the basenett five feet from where I’m sitting right now. 

WIDE AWAKE… and making squealing noises. There are times I feel like there is a miniature piglet sleeping next to me… So without further adieu I present the evidence of the root cause of “lack of sleep…”

If my life were a book:

Baby Bane

I don’t understand how it’s so impossible to keep a pacifier in your mouth?  He’s laying down on his back and the pacifier still keeps popping out.  It’s defying the laws of gravity, which in turn causes screaming and crying. 

You know that mask the Bane wears in the Baan comics/movies?  Do they have one in pacifier style for babies?  I’m quite sure if they don’t, i could invent one… 

i would be rich or at least I’d be a lot less tired.

  

The Quickest ER in town

img_1682The hospital is always a scary place to visit. Whether it’s as a visitor or as a patient. Let alone when your the visitor and you’re two year old is the patient.

We had a bit of a scare Saturday morning. He woke up at about 12:30 coughing and wheezing like crazy. But, it was the screaming and crying that was worrisome. It’s panic mode when you can’t get them to stop. After about an hour we were able to calm him down and he fell back asleep, “spread eagle style,” wheezing but sleeping just the same.Then about 2:30 he woke up again and was having trouble breathing with a horrible cough again. The cough seemed to spread deeper in his chest the more worked up he became.

At this point it was hospital or bust. The kid took it like a champ. By the time we were on our way home he was 1 ice pop and 8 mL of steroids. He was happy, I was literally exhausted to the point of no return and he was now pumped full of hyper enduring drugs. Luckily, the energy that spread throughout the house like wildfire, died down just enough for dad and mom to get a quick power nap.  

Jurassic Park

That time my kid was sick and finally stopped screaming when he curled up on the dog bed and fell asleep:


“First you bring this smelly thing home. Then you give him all the attention and love. Now he gets my bed?? Screw this, I’m out!!!” -Max the Dog

Try putting a toddler down on a normal night, let alone on a day when he feels like crap.  It’s literally an impossible task.  I’d rather spend the two hours trying to herd valaceraptors than what I went through getting Jax to bed tonight.  

What i assume putting multiple children to bed would be like.