Bronx Born Brainwashing

brain·wash: ˈbrānˌwôSH,ˈbrānˌwäSH/ (verb)gerund or present participle: brainwashing; make (someone) adopt radically different beliefs by using systematic and often forcible pressure.    “the organization could brainwash young people”

synonyms: indoctrinate, condition, reeducate, persuade, influence, propagandize, inculcate “the evidence is compelling that these cult members were indeed brainwashed”

You’ve read the above definition right? Good. Then you clearly know that my sons being Yankees fans is in no way brainwashing.  You are BORN a Yankees fan.  You aren’t made one. You bleed PINSTRIPES.  I grew up a Yankees fan because the Yankees are in my blood.  Bronx born, Pelham raised… Yankees for life… 

… so what if it takes a little NYY nightlight to help make sure my youngest is on the right side? 

It’s not brainwashing if it’s in your blood!  

Cribs: (Not MTV Style, Cribs as in an Actual Crib)

That’s it. This kid is going to be leaving for college tomorrow morning. He’s already outgrown his rock and play sleep thing. No more sleeping in the bedroom, or the family room, the swing or the basement.  

Not anymore.

LITTLE BABY OLLIE IS SLEEPING IN HIS CRIB! Christ he might as well start paying rent, it feels like he was just a newborn yesterday. 

Scientific Evidence 

There is this theory about lack of sleep.  It goes something like, “lack of sleep is horrible.”  I’m sure that is a theory based in scientific evidence and data collected over a substantial period of time which was studied by multiple people in across all fields of academia.  

I know I can support this theory with first hand evidence.  I have the progress monitoring data to show the “horribleness” (a scientific term) of lack of sleep.  Scientists and doctors are still studying the cause of this epidemic, but honestly they don’t have to look much further than the basenett five feet from where I’m sitting right now. 

WIDE AWAKE… and making squealing noises. There are times I feel like there is a miniature piglet sleeping next to me… So without further adieu I present the evidence of the root cause of “lack of sleep…”

If my life were a book:

Baby Bane

I don’t understand how it’s so impossible to keep a pacifier in your mouth?  He’s laying down on his back and the pacifier still keeps popping out.  It’s defying the laws of gravity, which in turn causes screaming and crying. 

You know that mask the Bane wears in the Baan comics/movies?  Do they have one in pacifier style for babies?  I’m quite sure if they don’t, i could invent one… 

i would be rich or at least I’d be a lot less tired.