Thank You Jackson

This is the last blog entry I write for you before you officially meet your baby brother. There is nothing in this world that I can compare the past three years with you to. You have literally been my world for so long I can’t remember what it was like before you came. 

I often go back and reread some of the things I’ve written to you (or about you) and can’t believe how much we’ve been through. For someone who (used to) enjoy talking about himself… I’ve enjoyed not being the center of attention because you have been just that, the center of attention, since the day you were born and you should be because you are the most caring, loving, funny and energetic little boy I have ever met. Now you have to share the spot light. I’m not going to lie… it’s not easy. Take it from the oldest sibling… the big brother… it ain’t easy! the good thing is… I’ll always get it… I’ll always understand what you’re going through… I’ll always be able to relate to how you feel as the oldest. 

You’re always going to be blamed for “it” because you should know better (but if you’re smart you can set your little brother up quite easily… little brothers usually will do what you say). You’ll always have to “set the good example” (even when you’re both at fault).  

But here’s the thing… you have to be careful… because with great power comes great responsibility. You literally are going to teach your brother everything. You are going to have to talk him out of dumb decisions, both because you’ve made those same decisions and also because you know better. You’ll get his back when things go wrong and he’ll get yours as well. If anyone is going to kick his butt… it should be you… and vice-versa. 

The thing is, no matter what happens you’ll always have me in your corner. I’ll always be here for you… nothing will ever change that… not another baby… not another son… not a brother… nothing. I will always cherish the last three years with you… and look forward to seeing you continue to grow up and even more so look forward to watching you help your brother grow up.  

Thank you for making my life so amazing. I love you Jackson Carmine… I always will. 

Trust me, I know a thing or two about being a big brother

In Difficult Times

As Jax begins a tough week (tougher for me then for him probably) I hope he knows that life isn’t always fair… But as Dumblefore once said, “It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

Our entire lives we are lead to believe there is a reason that things happen the way they do, or that someone else is pulling the strings. That fate holds our lives close and dangles, what we think we want in front of us, only to pull it away like its a whimsical children’s game to be played when we are bored.  

The problem with fate is that if we believe we are being controlled by an outside force then we are conceding that we are actually not in control of our own destiny. I refuse to believe that we do not have a say in how our lives turn out. Saying that something happens for a reason or that “it is what it is” is a cop out for the weak of heart and for those who underestimate the value and worth of what ever it was they are chasing. It is the characteristic of the strong man that he can bring momentous issues to the forefront and make a decision about them. The weak are always forced to decide between alternatives they have not chosen themselves.

Nothing in life is perfect, and nothing in life is ever going to follow the path that was cut by thoughts and ideas, but the things that are meaningful are worth working for, no matter what other say or the obstacles that stand in the way. The obstacles, that like an iceberg at the surface, seem simple to navigate, but are much deeper and can sink even the most sturdy ship. 

But it’s the destination that makes every icy ocean, every complicated situation worth it in the end. They say all those who wonder are not lost… But then it can also be said not all those who are lost wonder. Once what you have is worth fighting for then it’s not about how you get to the point you want to be at… It’s about making sure that you do get there that matters. 

Sometimes you have to take the harder path to make it to safety, and sometimes the path of least resistance is not always the best way to travel.   

✌🏼️

😘

Is There a Law Against… Showers?

I’m writing this blog with the hope for some validation… maybe even a little reassurance.  This may come as one of my more odd entries, but I think those parents out there may be able to connect (those of you who aren’t parents… continue reading because I promise this is something you will wonder about when you do become a parent).  It’s something I’ve been wondering about… not necessarily something I’ve thought about on a regular basis, but something that after tonight needs to be addressed…

Where does society stand on the “take a bath/shower with your kid” thing? I know this is a completely creepy question, I’m sure many people are going to wonder what the hell I am talking about and I’m confident that a lot of you KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!!!

Kid looks like Mugatu played (Will Ferrell) in #Zoolander

So bathtime around here for the little guy is a blast. Jax is all about bathtime. He is a nut about his tubby and some bubbles.  That’s not the issue.  I don’t have any problems with that.  But what happens when you have no time, no help and are just plain and simple exhausted and don’t want a huge production?

Shower? Why not… Quick and easy… Problem is you can’t put a one year old in the shower alone.  (I think it’s like a gremlin).   So that brings us to today. I hesitated… But in the end decided to get in the shower with Jax. Many things ran through my mind… What if he pees on me? What if he sees “it”? Are there laws against this sort of stuff? Creepy I know… But there even came a point where I thought maybe we should both be in a bathing suit (see above clip from Big Daddy).

So either way the deed is done and I’m still not sure where I stand on the whole issue.  Thoughts?

PS: I want to give a little backround on my thoughts about baths in general. I don’t know a lot of guys, or people for that matter, who still take baths. I mean, here’s the thing, if you get past the fact that baths are completely gross (IE: you sit there in your own filth) baths actually don’t seem too bad; however, I would tend to think most would say it’s just kinda gross to sit there in the dirt that you are actually trying to wash off yourself.

Now, I know there are the people who shell out way to much money to have a bathtub with “whirlpool” capabilities… but those “hoity-toity” types (See: Stephanie) realistically are just dropping a bar of soap in a hottub and calling it a bath. 

The other thing that drives me absolutely nuts about a bath is the fact that I can get in a shower with the water running at 895 degrees and love it… but no matter what I do to the water in the tub it’s always too hot. There is nothing I can do other than run the water and wait for it to cool down. The problem is in a tub the water goes from boil an egg hot to shrivle your man parts cold in 3.2 seconds. There is no way to calculate the exact tempature to time ratio that allows you to enjoy the whole reason you would take a bath in the first place… relaxation.  

If I am going to take a bath and sit in my own disguistingness then I don’t want to have to do any work… having to constantly turn on the hot water, then cold water, then hot again… well that just negates my wish to not have to do any manual labor.  

I’ll stick to showers… By myself… Maybe!

if you’re going to take a bath… own it. The Hugh Hefner robe is a must!

This blog entry has been featured on Honustmum.com as a Brilliant Blog Post.

This blog entry has been featured on Honustmum.com as a Brilliant Blog Post.

Advice for Jax Taken from ’90s Hip Hop

When you need help or advice as a new parent the obvious thing to do is call someone who knows what do, right?  You would obviously reach out to someone with experience and expertise.  You also want to gain the knowledge and experience so that you are better prepared to deal next time the situation may arise.

There are millions of books, blogs (definitely not this one) and child experts who can provide new parents with support as they navigate the ups and downs of raising a child.  However, why just go for the obvious?  That’s why when I attempt to drop little nuggets of knowledge on Jackson I turn to the place that helped impart the same essential knowledge on me… 90’s Hip Hop.

For example: Here are the top pieces of wisdom that came out of 90’s hip hop:

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ADVICE:  “Never trust a big butt and a smile.” – Bel Biv Devoe

TRANSLATION:  Judge a book by its cover… especially, if that book has a big booty and a friendly grin. If it does, definitely DO NOT trust them.  People who have large rear ends are usually liars and should not be trusted to tell the truth.

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ADVICE:  “Yea I got on sneaks, but I need a new pair… Cause basketball courts in the summer got girls there.” – The Fresh Prince

TRANSLATION:  You can never make a second first impression.  Yes, you may have a quality education and work hard to provide for your family, but if you don’t look fresh to death for the ladies on the courts… you lose at life.  Remember, the newer the sneaks the better.

 

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ADVICE:  “Blame it on the rain (rain), Blame it on the stars (stars), Whatever you do don’t put the blame on you, Blame it on the rain yeah yeah, You can blame it on the rain.” –Milli Vanilli

TRANSLATION:  The buck does not stop here… keep passing the buck… whatever you do, do not admit you are part of the buck.  If you want to be successful in life, at work and especially in a relationship… DO NOT EVER ADMIT YOU SCREWED UP!  Just blame it on someone else.

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ADVICE:  “The rhythm is the bass and the bass is the treble.” –Warren G

TRANSLATION:  I have no freaking idea… just seems like something you should know in life.

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ADVICE:  “Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly.” –Vanilla Ice

TRANSLATION:  Whenever you are faced with a tough situation… go at it head on and attack it until you succeed just like a harpoon when it… when it, well you know, when it flows.  Everyone knows that nothing works harder at its job than a harpoon… because that harpoon flows every day and every night.

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ADVICE: “Too legit to quit” –MC Hammer

TRANSLATION:  Be a young man who grows up and does things the right way.  That’s legit… be so legit that you can never go back to not being legit. Don’t be not legit or unlegit.  And for that reason you must never quit.

 

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BONUS ADVICE:  “Can’t blow too hard; Life’s a deck of cards.” –Jay Z

TRANSLATION:  Forget the fact that Jigga got the analogy completely wrong (the line should have been “life’s a HOUSE of cards”), these are words to live by because everyone knows that people who are the most successful don’t brag about their success.  If there was ever a model of living a low key life, it is definitely Jay-Z.

 

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