When you’re six months old and already outgrew your infant car seat
I’m not sure if we have a six and a half month old or a Costco sized sack of potatoes that poops and pees, because this kid is a giant.
I remember carrying jax around the house with one arm and being able to pretty much do any household chore with ease. Not with this meatball… he should charge a monthly gym membership for holding him because that’s about the equivalent of doing a full body workout.
No more car seat stroller…we’re in the toddler stroller now.
Lately I’ve been noticing a lot of families with three-plus kids. They catch my eye mostly because I wonder if the parents are secretly a witch or wizard, or a real-life saint. I just don’t get how any set of parents and even more so any single parent hasn’t dropped their children off on someone doorstep with a note from Albus Dumbledore wishing them luck.
I don’t consider myself a perfect parent, nor do I consider either of my children difficult for the most part, but I’d like to think I’m more than capable of handling and raising two tiny humans. Yet, for some reason, having two kids feels like having 18. I honestly feel like there are more kids living here that I don’t know about… just sneak in at night and make messes, dirty more clothes, eat everything in the fridge, take out toys that I didn’t even know we own and pee everywhere (actually that is probably just the dogs). Everywhere I turn I’m stepping on a legit or magnetic letter. I’m either yanking a toy truck from the jaws of a dog or chasing one of them down because they already swallowed a pacifier. If I’m not peeling the skin off of a hotdog, I’m scraping the burnt part of the cheese off of a slice of pizza.
I can’t remember the last time I sat on the couch with the remote in my hand and got to watch something other than Paw Patrol Saves a School Bus or Peppa Pig Goes on Vacation. SportsCenter? What’s that? HBO? Huh? I guess the “time” thing is less of an issue when I think about it. I’m ok with not having alone time. But it’s the constant tornado of baby puke, crying and inanimate object being launched into orbit that continues to put me in the state of disarray.
I just can’t imagine how people can work, workout and have a social life let alone do all that with kids. How in the world did my parents do that with three kids. How the hell did my mom raise three kids and nanny two more at the same time. That’s inhuman. That’s insane. That’s supernatural. There has to be some sort of X-MAN type powers for anyone who can survive with more than one kid.
Just tryin’ cruise through parenthood like:
Let’s face it there are certain things in life that are just constants… if you own a dog, they love you unconditionally, if you play football you’re going to have at least one concision in your career, and if you live in Connecticut you are most definitely going to get stuck in horrendous traffic on 84 numerous times… but nothing is more definite in life than the obligitory sibling bathtub picture.
Besides Jackson trying to put Oliver through a touch less carwash, he did try to comfort Ollie when he was crying.
This picture will definitely be shown to future friends, girlfriends, wives and children!
brain·wash: ˈbrānˌwôSH,ˈbrānˌwäSH/ (verb)gerund or present participle: brainwashing; make (someone) adopt radically different beliefs by using systematic and often forcible pressure. “the organization could brainwash young people”
synonyms: indoctrinate, condition, reeducate, persuade, influence, propagandize, inculcate “the evidence is compelling that these cult members were indeed brainwashed”
You’ve read the above definition right? Good. Then you clearly know that my sons being Yankees fans is in no way brainwashing. You are BORN a Yankees fan. You aren’t made one. You bleed PINSTRIPES. I grew up a Yankees fan because the Yankees are in my blood. Bronx born, Pelham raised… Yankees for life…
… so what if it takes a little NYY nightlight to help make sure my youngest is on the right side?
It’s not brainwashing if it’s in your blood!
This kid’s luscious locks have stunned anyone with eyes for the past six months – with “ohhhs and ahhhs” every time the wind blows through his lion-like mane you’d think he’d be on the cover of Vogue at this point. The thing is… he was born with this. Just like this… he was literally born with better hair than most adult men.
I guess a trip to the salon for a wash and blow dry is up next.
“It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for ’em.”
“Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes… *all day*. Besides, we both know that I’m training to be a cage fighter.”
“It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman!” ….. or is it!???
“You think you can hold me?” -Gellert Grindelwald to the aurors who caught him.
I am so ridiculously humbled right now. My first book has been published and is now available through Amazon (of course). Thank you to everyone who keeps coming back to the blog to read, and to everyone who has supported me along the way!
Jackson and Oliver: without you there is no me… without you there is no blog ❤️
Letters From Dad: Thoughts on Fatherhood, Family, and Life (Dad Bloggers Book Series) (Volume 1)
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That moment you get to add your own book on your #GoodReads bookshelf. #GoodReads #FirstBook #Published #Author #Dads #IFinallyLeftMyMark #BloggersBook #LettersFromDad 📙📖📚