The Very Hungry Caterpillar 

Where has the time gone?  This kid is now reading me bedtime stories?  I can’t believe how far we’ve come… this little boy amazes me every single day.  

A 17th century philosopher once said, “I know it seems hard sometimes but remember one thing. Through every dark night, there’s a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out, keep ya head up…. and handle it”.    Last year at this time I was so scared, but now this kid is legitimately a beginning reader.  

PS: That 17th Century Philosopher from above… Tupac Shakur


Here’s the whole video:​

Silence is Golden


​Here we go… we’ve got another talker in the house. I used to enjoy quiet nights… then they became few and far between… now they are never going to happen again. There is no chance I will ever hear silence ever again. I used to complain because Jackson didn’t talk… now he won’t shut up!!! He has something to say about everything. Even though he’s still figuring it out and working hard to perfect his communication skills… he literally does not stop talking.

Now add to that a four month old who is beginning to voice his opinions and wants to make sure that everyone hears them. If silence is golden then I’m going to be one broke dad.

Daddy Daycare’s New Employees 

What are you do when you realized that your business is outgrowing itself. When you realize that you’re starting to become outnumbered…  the demand for your product outnumbers your supply?  Easy. You hire more employees to help manage the output.  

With that being said, but I’d like to introduce the newest daddy daycare employee… meet the GE Washer machine.  Providing babies with 1:1 supervision since… well… since 25 minutes ago. Turn it on spin cycle and let it do its work. 

Salad Bowl Bath

Growing up I used to have to walk 40 miles to school in the snow… uphill… both ways. I didn’t get special devises to sleep in, or rest on. You took a nap where ever you were put down. You sat in the back of the station wagon with no seat belt. There were no Brita Filter, you just drank out of the hose. 

So you know what… we’re keeping it old school here… we don’t need any special, or expensive bumper, rubbery, mesh bath seat for tubby time. I’m old school… Old school like bath in the sink and a salad bowl old school. 

I Win

I win… I WIN!!! You know why? Because I’m the dad. I know this kid outsmarts me 99% of the time, but when it counts… I WIN. You see I’m the adult, the dad… I WIN. I know you’ll never remember this day. I know by the time you’ll read this, you will probably be one of her brightest, hardest working kids in your entire school. But I want you to know, at least on this night, I was smarter than you.

Tonight (honestly most nights), you decided you weren’t going to eat. Not lunch and not dinner. Chicken nuggets, string cheese, macaroni and cheese, apple sauce… nothing! Until… dad, your own dad, completely flipped the script on you. Hence the title of this blog, “I Win.”  

Here’s now the game included: line up five chicken nuggets in front of you and five in front of me… and we have a race to see who can eat the most. Every time you thought I was eating one I just put it back in front of you. You literally fell for it every time.  

You know what, you might be able to get me to read you a bunch of extra books every night before bed, or let you have ice cream before dinner, but tonight… and maybe only for one night… I WIN!!!

Empty Bottle Award

Finally.  It’s been a long time coming, but being humble as I am I am extremely honored to be receiving such a prestigious award tonight. Finally being the one to give Oliver an entire bottle, let alone do it in under 30 minutes is truly an honor.  I am earnestly grateful for the recognition I have received for my work, because I am very sure that every other nominees for this award were as capable if not more, of winning this award; however, in the end it was me… it was always me.  I knew it had to be me and I stepped up when I was needed most. 

I have faced several challenges on my way here, but each one of them has only strengthened me to make me the person I am today; a thorough professional who knows exactly what he wants; someone who sets his eyes on a goal and does not lose sight of it, unless it is achieved. Winning this award would not have been possible without the inspiration I have received from my colleagues, all the other parents and family members who have tried and failed, all of whom I have the deepest respect, and from whom I have derived the strength to challenge myself and perform better with each attempt at feeding this child a bottle.

I sincerely thank each one of you for helping me reach a stage where I can proudly hold up this empty bottle as a mark of my achievement. I also will continue to strive to only get better at feeding this child, so that I can continue to accept these amazing awards for being the only person to be able to successfully give Oliver a bottle. 

Thank you!  Thank you from the bottom of me heart for this award and for the opportunity to talk to you all today. 

Happy Place

When both kids are sick and somehow you get them both to sleep at the same time for a few minutes. I imagine this is what they mean when they say, “go to your happy place.” #Sleep #Sick #HappyPlace #brothers #chroniclesofanewdad