Things got a little interesting around here earlier today!
Author Archives: Peter
Mother’s Day Part II
Mom is one of words that you take for granted. You say it so many times during your life that you can seemingly forget what it actually means. In my house it meant many things growing up. In my house it means many things now.
Growing up mom meant chef, chauffeur, bank and laundromat. Still now mom means so much more though. When there weren’t many people who would root for me my mom was my biggest fan. When I wasn’t sure which way to go my mom was my moral compass. When I wanted to take the easy way out my mom pushed me to be better than a quiter.
She was and still continues to be the quintessential mom. Which brings us to the new mom in my life… My wife. Who, although different, is just as amazing of a mom.
People say stay at home moms have as tough a tough job too… and I don’t disagree… But try working 60 hours a week and being a mom… Not so easy!
Jackson is pretty lucky. Anyone who loves shoes and purses as much as Stephanie and would rather a gift for him than a pair of Tory Burch sandals for herself is one selfless mother.
I remember years ago, before my grandma passed away… Before Steph and I even got engaged… Nan sat me down and asked my “intentions.” She asked if I thought Steph was the “one”. When I asked her why she wanted to know… She told me that she had a feeling Stephanie was going to be a great mother one day. I asked her how she knew… She replied, “I just know.”
Ten years after nan passed away she still continues to be right! Thank you mom for raising me to be a successful (and amazingly talented and good looking) young man. And thank you to Stephanie for doing the same for Jackson!
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
(FYI: Steph still got the Tory Burch sandals!)
Old School Truck Bed Sheets
Busy weekend so far:
¨Harry do you know why I love Sundays?”
“No post on Sundays…”
This kid has more friends at one than his mother and I combined!
Typical little boy… Loved playing with all the trucks at the “Touch a Truck” event. 
Speaking of trucks… Did anyone else have those old school truck bed sheets when they were a toddler? The trucks looked like block trucks (not sure if that’s a technical term or not, but I’m pretty sure it is).
I need to find those sheets for sale somewhere. It is a rite of passage for all little boys to have at least one set of truck sheets and I need Jax to own these particular truck sheets… Keep an eye for us will ya?!!???
Greatness Comes to Those Who Wait
Many moons ago I said to myself that having kids would be cool. I could have a son and make him my own mini me. I could create a little person and train him to do my bidding.
Many moons ago I said to myself that getting married would be cool. I could find a girl who likes cool stuff like I do and we would live happily ever after.
Many moons ago I said I would buy a beautiful house and be the KING OF THE CASTLE. I said to myself I’m going to take a wife, buy a house and then I’m going to make little people and rule them.
But that was many moons ago… Before I understood reality and how the world works. Things aren’t black and white like I saw them all those moons ago.
There’s no ruling this house. There is no king of the castle. The only time I get to sit on a throne around here is also coincidentally the only time I get to myself anymore, and that is when I’m in the bathroom. I literally go in there and hide. I’ve successfully read an entire Sports Illustrated cover to cover in there before. Things don’t run as smoothly as you pictured all those years ago. Parent life is tough as hell.
After all that being said… Tonight changed things. Somehow, tonight seemed different. I feel like I, like we, have turned a corner. Things clicked. We ran like a well oiled machine… Like when a basketball team runs the weave in practice to perfection for the first time.
It was a thing of beauty:
- I walk in the door and I’m immediately changed and on the new weight bench sculpting the biceps (the body of a Roman God doesn’t come easily anymore).
- Mom bursts in and hands off the little one in between sets and quickly changes and gets ready for the gym… Another quick handoff allows me to finish my work out with enough calf raises to make my legs look a little less like a 12 year old girls.
- The switch from work out to play time while preparing dinner is effortless and smooth. The path to the finish line seems clear and we are even able to fit in a tricycle ride and a few pushes on the swing.
- With dinner served, a bath run and a baby asleep with not one tear… it was like time was moving in slow motion. There was nothing we could do wrong… I felt like Jordan In the ’92 NBA Finals. All I could do was shrug…
Even Michael couldn’t believe it
When you’re so hot all you can do is shrug your shoulders… That’s when you know you’ve made it. Sometimes the greats can’t even understand greatness… That was us tonight… When everything comes together at once… When you’re finally the king of your castle… That’s Greatness!
This blog entry has been featured on Honustmum.com as a Brilliant Blog Post.
Jackson and the Pirate Eye Patch
I’m starting to feel like writing about my horrible parenting fails is becoming an ongoing theme as of late… If I’m not offering up my son to a group of bears (what is a group of bears called…?), or screwing up some sort of toy assembly then I have nothing to write about. Well good thing i almost blinded my son yesterday so I have something to blog about.
Here’s another example of where the so called “parenting handbook” failed us again. (Note the sarcasm in that statement… You know because there really isn’t a parenting hand book… Unless you count this blog, which in that case I feel bad for your kid).
But I digress… So the failed parenting thing… Yeah… Well I apparently after years of being able to somewhat take care of myself (I have a decent set of self-help skills) I have forgotten the most basic step in applying sun screen, or really anything for that matter… DON’T GET IT IN YOUR EYE!
Here in lies the problem. Basically anything with in a one mike radius of a one year old is going to either wind up in his mouth or all over his hands which will then be put in his mouth or rubbed on his eyes. Sunscreen presents a no win situation for parents. You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. Put that sunscreen on and you’re basically asking for your son I need a guide dog the rest of his life… Leave the sun block off and the, Kid burns up like he visited the surface of the sun for a week.
So, like any idiot good dad would do, I slathered half the tube of sun block on him. Now I will say this… Stephanie thinks that applying an SPF 15 twice is the same as applying an SPF 30… I put on a ton of block because I was afraid I’d miss a spot, not because I don’t understand how sunscreen SPF ratings work. Regardless, a pool of of this crap wound up in his eye and in his mouth.
Walk it off dude
Hours of crying ensued… and now I know that baths, wash clothes, paper towels, power washers, etc will not reduce the amount of screaming a one year old does when there is sun screen in his eye. All I kept thinking was this poor kid was going to have to wear a eye patch like a pirate the rest of his life!
Sorry dude… time heals all wounds… it healed your eye… I hope it heals your mental scars from your father almost blinding you too.
The King and Queen of Westeros, CT
What kind of father sets their kid up on blind dates at a year old? Are arranged marriages even still a part of today’s day to day society? If so… then PHEW!
We don’t live in Westeros and the closest thing to an Iron Throne that I sit on is in my bathroom… But lately I feel like everyone is trying to call dibs on Jackson for their duaghters!
Since the day Jax was born I feel like all he does is become friends with as many little ladies as possible. Just look at the list, 90% of our friends had daughters.
Jax got a chance to meet another future wife option last night. Luna tr little nugget was born last month to great friends Jay and Brea. The introduction was typical of a first date and women in general… Luna wasn’t ready (relax I’m kidding… Sort of!). As a matter of fact she was still sleeping!
It’s always a lot of fun attempting to get a six week old and one year old to play together. Jax was happy rolling around on the exercise ball while Luna napped. (We also found out Jax likes eating gloves!)
Who knows maybe years from now Luna and Jax will wind up ruling the Seven Kingdoms. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. (Although, if that does happen I call dibs on the Lannister fortune!)
Smarter Than Your Average Bear
So I know that lately I’ve been posting about how unmanly I am. I can’t build this, I can’t fix that. Well listen, I’m not writing this blog to make myself look like a superhero… I’m here to tell the truth about how things are. And the truth is I’m not about to pretend that I can solve all the world’s problems.
But I have a child now, that changes things. There is an innate sense of protection that exudes from a parent… And I’m no different. When danger is near I want to be able to spring into action. The problem is i’m not so sure what I would do.
You might be wondering what the hell I am talking about here… and I wouldn’t blame you… but today I recieved viable intel about a threat to our everyday living:
A bear? A freaking bear having picnics on my front porch and leaving torpedo sized poo in my neighbor’s yard. Immediately I began to formulate a plan to save Buster, Max and Jax.
Two things immediately popped into my mind. 1) How do you ward off a bear and 2) There’s no way I can ward off a bear!!!
I’m not a weakling, I’m just not a bear fighter like Jackie Moon.
Then there are the Carls of the world. The round and tough, I eat glass for breakfast kinda guys.
Carl was on the news yesterday. He saw a bear attacking his dog and he punched that bear straight in the face. It’s not a story you would often believe. But when you look at Carl you can see he’s 100% a, “I punched a bear in the face kind guy.” This guy is my hero.
Don’t get me wrong I’ve had my fair share of interesting encounters and can hold my own, but for now maybe I’ll stick to teaching Jax how to read and how to hit a baseball and we can rely on nutcases like Carl to fend off the bears.
Jackson’s Nursery Reveal
Party Time, EXCELLENT
Come one come all, to the greatest show on Earth… this weekend’s epic birthday party for Jackson was an event that will go down in history. It was a mix of Ringling Bros. And Barnum and Bailey Circus and the Super Bowl without a high wire act and wardrobe malfunctions. They say that the first birthdfay party is never for the kid, its always for the parents… well in this case it was for the parents and about 600 other people.
There were things that happened at this party that I wouldn’t have ever imagined I would be part of in my life. There were centerpieces and a guest book. There were swag bags and multiple gift tables. I knew things were getting out of hand when we needed a pick up truck for the cake and a separate SUV for the balloons. There was a point in time where I thought I saw the “Good-Year blimp and it read Jackson Carmine’s a pimp.” But then I realized that only happens in 90s rap songs .
Jax was passed around like a hot potato from friend to friend and family member to family member. There were times where neither Steph or I could accurately locate his whereabouts. I wish I had the baby Lo-Jack they put on him in the hospital after he was born.
This party was just outrageous; i feel like I didn’t get much of a chance to talk to everyone, but that is only because there were so many people there. The thing is, its just nice to have so many people care about Jax (or at least care enough to drive out of their way for free food and beer).
The gifts are still piled high in the family room; there is literally no where to put things. There are things I am nervous to open because I know the amount of assembly required is going to scare the hell out of me. I am thankful for the gifts that say NO ASSEMBLY REQUIRED on the box, those make me happy (Thanks KiKi). The friends who bought Jax a drum set, who will remain nameless (Justin and Sam) are going to regret buying this for him when I call them at 3am and play recorded audio of him smashing his cymbals.
SIDEBAR: I wonder if they have statistics on the demographics of people who actually purchase drum sets? I would imagine the number one category would be DRUMMERS… but number two has to be friends who want to torment their friends right? I cant see too many parents saying to themselves, you know what would be a good idea, buying our child a giant noise maker since he doesn’t already keep us up every waking minute of the day, and we should make sure that we include brass circles that sound like a storm from The Day After Tomorrow when he throws them across the floor.
I am so thankful to those who brought gifts that I can play with as well. This ball pit is amazing, I think I am enjoying it more than he is. As I squeezed my body inside, I wondered if this would make a good place to hide from Steph when I’m in trouble…? Maybe the coolest thing of all is Walter the Farting Dog matching book and real farting Walter stuffed animal. Now this is a toy I can endorse. Literature and farts… my two favorite things in the world.
The best gift goes to Mom though. Anything that can make this little guy laugh like this is a winner:
Huge thank you to everyone for coming and for especially for everyone who helped out especially Sandy and John!
Happy 1st Birthday
Dear Jackson,
Even though there’s not a chance you’ll be able to read this for a few years, I wanted to make sure that on your first birthday you understand how much the past year has meant to your mom and I. We met when we were in our early 20s and have been a together for almost 15 years now… (can you believe your poor mom has had to listen to my terrible jokes for that long?!!). We had some great times and we had some sad times, but the past year has been different. There is not an actual word in the English language to properly express how perfect the past year has been, but it has been that way because of you.
It isn’t the milestones, or the cute faces you make, or that pterodactyl laugh you have. It isn’t even watching you try to play peekaboo with a sock that barely covers your nose. Its just a feeling, you change the climate of the environment you are in and of the people you are around.
Your happy personality is infectious and has helped mom and I through some tough times this past year… if two people can make it through weeks of not sleeping while getting pooped and puked on and not want to run away from each other than there must be something special about the little one doing the pooping.
I wanted to include all the things I am excited to teach you and do with you as you grow, but I think I’ll save that for another time and let those events just happen as they come. So instead, I want to simply tell you that I am a better person because of you and that I love you very much.
Without you, there would be no us. Happy first birthday!
Love always,
Dad
Sorry Sons: Chronicles of a New Dad 
