So I know that lately I’ve been posting about how unmanly I am. I can’t build this, I can’t fix that. Well listen, I’m not writing this blog to make myself look like a superhero… I’m here to tell the truth about how things are. And the truth is I’m not about to pretend that I can solve all the world’s problems.
But I have a child now, that changes things. There is an innate sense of protection that exudes from a parent… And I’m no different. When danger is near I want to be able to spring into action. The problem is i’m not so sure what I would do.
You might be wondering what the hell I am talking about here… and I wouldn’t blame you… but today I recieved viable intel about a threat to our everyday living:
A bear? A freaking bear having picnics on my front porch and leaving torpedo sized poo in my neighbor’s yard. Immediately I began to formulate a plan to save Buster, Max and Jax.
Two things immediately popped into my mind. 1) How do you ward off a bear and 2) There’s no way I can ward off a bear!!!
I’m not a weakling, I’m just not a bear fighter like Jackie Moon.
Then there are the Carls of the world. The round and tough, I eat glass for breakfast kinda guys.
Carl was on the news yesterday. He saw a bear attacking his dog and he punched that bear straight in the face. It’s not a story you would often believe. But when you look at Carl you can see he’s 100% a, “I punched a bear in the face kind guy.” This guy is my hero.
Don’t get me wrong I’ve had my fair share of interesting encounters and can hold my own, but for now maybe I’ll stick to teaching Jax how to read and how to hit a baseball and we can rely on nutcases like Carl to fend off the bears.
I can handle bears, piece of P**s…. No… a real bear…. F’ That! I’ll take the teddy bear kind, you keep the real ones!
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