Jackson and the Pirate Eye Patch

I’m starting to feel like writing about my horrible parenting fails is becoming an ongoing theme as of late… If I’m not offering up my son to a group of bears (what is a group of bears called…?), or screwing up some sort of toy assembly then I have nothing to write about.  Well good thing i almost blinded my son yesterday so I have something to blog about.

Here’s another example of where the so called “parenting handbook” failed us again.  (Note the sarcasm in that statement… You know because there really isn’t a parenting hand book… Unless you count this blog, which in that case I feel bad for your kid).

But I digress… So the failed parenting thing… Yeah… Well I apparently after years of being able to somewhat take care of myself (I have a decent set of self-help skills) I have forgotten the most basic step in applying sun screen, or really anything for that matter… DON’T GET IT IN YOUR EYE!

Here in lies the problem.  Basically anything with in a one mike radius of a one year old is going to either wind up in his mouth or all over his hands which will then be put in his mouth or rubbed on his eyes.  Sunscreen presents a no win situation for parents.  You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t.  Put that sunscreen on and you’re basically asking for your son I need a guide dog the rest of his life… Leave the sun block off and the, Kid burns up like he visited the surface of the sun for a week.

So, like any idiot good dad would do, I slathered half the tube of sun block on him.  Now I will say this… Stephanie thinks that applying an SPF 15 twice is the same as applying an SPF 30… I put on a ton of block because I was afraid I’d miss a spot, not because I don’t understand how sunscreen SPF ratings work.  Regardless, a pool of of this crap wound up in his eye and in his mouth.

Walk it off dude

Walk it off dude

Hours of crying ensued… and now I know that baths, wash clothes, paper towels, power washers, etc will not reduce the amount of screaming a one year old does when there is sun screen in his eye.  All I kept thinking was this poor kid was going to have to wear a eye patch like a pirate the rest of his life!

Sorry dude… time heals all wounds… it healed your eye… I hope it heals your mental scars from your father almost blinding you too.

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