Author Archives: Peter

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The Day After Tomorrow Today

Snow days are nothing new for Connecticut. I guess the biggest difference now is school seems to be canceled the night before more often than when I was a youngin’. We used to have to wake up early and watch the news to see if our town was close to scrolling up. 

The thing was… no matter what channel you flipped to though you were always a letter too late… always having to wait an extra 25 minutes to see if your school had off. Now a days we call our families VIA school messenger and usually make the cancelation the night before to give families enough time to arrange child care if needed.  

But I digress, today we were hit with a monster snow storm. It was the one we were waiting for all winter. And it didn’t disappoint. Of course Jackson was awake and ready to go at 6:00am. (Mind you on school/work days we have to pry him away from his pillow in the morning). It was like an insane asylum here this morning. 

Literally… All we needed was padded walls, Jackson apparently learned cursive because he inscribed the wall using the markers someone left out. Blueberries were thrown everywhere to the point where I’m still picking them out of every crevasse in the house. It got to the point where I was out of DVRed shows. Bubble Guppies, Peppa Pig… I’m all done. I’ve watched 7,000 episodes of Bubble Guppies and Peppa Pig… literally… I’m all done. 

It was time to brace the storm… and what a storm it was. We set out for Manhattan to find Sam, but when their truck crashes into a vehicle north of Philadelphia, we are forced to continue our journey on snowshoes. En route, Frank falls through the glass roof of a snow-covered shopping mall. As we try to pull him up, the glass under us continues cracking; Frank sacrifices himself by cutting the rope. Most of the group is, by now, sheltered in the library. We burn books to stay warm and break into a vending machine for food. Sam admits his feelings for Laura (who has apparently caught a cold), and she reciprocates. At the US refugee camp in Mexico, Becker learns that President Blake died when his motorcade was enveloped by the superstorm, and he is now the president… (sorry obligatory The Day After Tomorrow reference). 

Being outside in the aforementioned Day After Tomorrow superstorm was an adventure to say the least. I spent more time putting clothes on Jackson then i actually did in the snow. It was that old get a kid in his snow gear and by the time he’s all dressed he needs to pee story… mind you the kid who needed to pee was me. (And yes I did tie plastic shopping bags to his feet… and yes they were still bone dry when he got back inside). 

The best part of the day was watching Jax use this old wooden handle, red plastic shovel that was mine 400 years ago. And let me tell you something… this kid was a machine. He was clearing snow like his name was Dennis Quaid. At least one of these kids is earning his keep around here…

Because this little dude is not picking up a shovel, he may just sleep through this storm (and I don’t blame him).

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Brothers: Best Friends, Worst Enemies and the Greatest Inventors 

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​Brothers are best friends and worst enemies… strongest ally and biggest rival. I know… I have one, I live that so called “sibling rivalry.” I’ve made him eat dirt and thrown him through a wall (literally through) and he broke my nose. I also would want him by my side if there was something going down (unless Chuck Norris or Conor McGregor were available). Now I get to watch two brothers play this game of sibling chess from the outside looking in. 

Everyone gave the warnings, “expect the worst. Jax is going to regress, he’s going to be full of anger and jealousy. He’ll be completely uninterested in the baby… he won’t understand the change. The first time they meet Jax might hit him.” 

There were nerves all around that day in the nursery. We set the meet and greet up w caution and care. It was like setting your best friend up on a blind date. “Dont worry, it’ll be great, he’ll totally get you!” “You guys will hit it off right off the bat.” “Just be yourself and it’ll all be fine.”

Rewind 30+ years ago… I’m told I didn’t handle the situation very well. My little brother didn’t get such a warm welcome upon his entry into this world. But that was short lived. We enjoyed a ton of fun, experienced many life altering situations and caused/got into our fair share of trouble. From snake attacks, to the steam roller, to the babysitter who sprayed potpourri everywhere, enduring bringing home another sibling… this time a sister, to pillow wars on thanksgiving resulting in vomiting turkey and stuffing everywhere… to running the courts in the Bronx with the “neighborhood ‘friends’ who carried knives”… to car clubs and booming systems and holding each other’s blocks at the starting line and winning gold and setting hurdle records together… college roommates… well that’s another story. Let’s just say a Britney Spears poster, a comforter and a gallon of spackle saved us a lot of money that year. However, I’m pretty sure the best thing to come out of our relationship was the invention of the Olympic pending sport “All Out Basketball.” Imagine living in the northeast where winter pretty much kills the idea of playing basketball on outdoor courts… even with a shovel and some ice melt… there no way to have a “real game.” Dribbling is impossible, there’s no traction and the backboard can shatter with one erratic shot. 

Enter… ALL OUT BASKETBALL. A basketball based, rugby, football hybrid. It’s designed for icy backyard courts and is best played when wearing boots and 14 layers of clothing. It allows the competitors to combine the best parts of all three sports and is perfect for brothers because of its violent nature. No dribbling and a hoop low enough to dunk like you were Vince Carter in his early days (NOTE: Just for clarification… I could dunk on a 10 foot rim too). The game was played on a shotty shoveled outdoor court and competitors benefited from a slightly deflated ball (we were the Tom Brady of the neighborhood) and often resulted in ripped snow pants and fractured limbs. But it was fun… and Vinny and I are still holding out hopes the IOC will adopt it for the 2018 Winter Olympics. 

Fast forward, back to February 2017… a dimly lit nursery on a cold and snowy (ironic) day. Jackson carefully selected a present for his new little brother and partner in crime. Although his first choice of a Sudoku book, was not the best pick… the blue puppy stuffed animal was perfect. He repeated, “Me hug, kiss baby Ollie.” The whole way down the hallway and up the elevator… although he had time to spell his name and count to ten for the lady who didn’t think he could find the D button for her on the elevator.  

Honestly, I’m not sure who was more excited me the first time I met Rickey Henderson or the first time Jackson met his brother Oliver. The look of excitement and honestly… the look of love was immediate (I say love because I want to believe it was love and not the look of trouble). Jackson presented Ollie with the stuffed animal he picked out and Oliver gave Jax a present too… a recycled Christmas gift that Santa had left behind… an Olaf talking figure. It was love at first sight, and he liked Oliver too. 

The meeting wasn’t long, it didn’t need to be. It was the perfect amount of hugs, kisses and questions. Jackson talked about Oliver the entire ride home, all night and all the next day until he got to hug and kiss baby Ollie again. Jackson met his new best friend and Oliver met his new body guard. As a dad you can’t ask for much more. 

Here’s to hoping these two invent something together as cool, if not cooler, than “All Out Basketball!”

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Oliver Peter: Born 1.31.17

img_1179The first baby brings excitement, happiness and love. It’s impossible to describe the amount of life a newborn pumps into you. Nothing can prepare you, no matter how much you wish you had more time, you never have more time. Time ticks forward no matter how much you wish for it to slow down.

But no matter what has happened to me in life, especially as a parent… I’ve leaned to expect the unexpected. And having a baby come five weeks early definitely qualifies and the unexpected. And nothing says parenting like a surprise birth at two in the morning.

One second you’re having a beer and checking your email and the next you’re sitting in one of those UV lit rooms that TV hospital dramas make their weekly setting. You can’t remember how the hell you got to this point… what about the plan? This wasn’t part of the plan. Then again… when has anything gone according to plan. Minutes become hours and hours become days.

Worry turns to more nervousness, Which turns to fear… the thing is you’re worrying about a kid who technically isn’t here yet. Let’s face it… this kid in no way is a representation of anyone in this family. Five weeks early? I can’t even be 30 minutes late for something, let alone on time. First Jackson was two weeks ahead of schedule and now this little guy?!! Maybe these two will make it to their own future engagements in time… although I highly doubt it.

Anyway… tachycardia, low blood pressure, infection and an emergency C-Section brought this little guy into the world at 6:01am at 6lbs 11oz and 18.5in long. No words can express the feeling the first time you hear your kid start to cry… because until then it’s not totally real, or at least you’re new life hasn’t totally started yet. But for the second time that cry came… a new life started… and ready or not world… he’s here!!! (And so is the Sorry Sons: Chronicles of a New Dad… AGAIN).

Oliver Peter (born January 31st, 2017)

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Thank You Jackson

This is the last blog entry I write for you before you officially meet your baby brother. There is nothing in this world that I can compare the past three years with you to. You have literally been my world for so long I can’t remember what it was like before you came. 

I often go back and reread some of the things I’ve written to you (or about you) and can’t believe how much we’ve been through. For someone who (used to) enjoy talking about himself… I’ve enjoyed not being the center of attention because you have been just that, the center of attention, since the day you were born and you should be because you are the most caring, loving, funny and energetic little boy I have ever met. Now you have to share the spot light. I’m not going to lie… it’s not easy. Take it from the oldest sibling… the big brother… it ain’t easy! the good thing is… I’ll always get it… I’ll always understand what you’re going through… I’ll always be able to relate to how you feel as the oldest. 

You’re always going to be blamed for “it” because you should know better (but if you’re smart you can set your little brother up quite easily… little brothers usually will do what you say). You’ll always have to “set the good example” (even when you’re both at fault).  

But here’s the thing… you have to be careful… because with great power comes great responsibility. You literally are going to teach your brother everything. You are going to have to talk him out of dumb decisions, both because you’ve made those same decisions and also because you know better. You’ll get his back when things go wrong and he’ll get yours as well. If anyone is going to kick his butt… it should be you… and vice-versa. 

The thing is, no matter what happens you’ll always have me in your corner. I’ll always be here for you… nothing will ever change that… not another baby… not another son… not a brother… nothing. I will always cherish the last three years with you… and look forward to seeing you continue to grow up and even more so look forward to watching you help your brother grow up.  

Thank you for making my life so amazing. I love you Jackson Carmine… I always will. 

Trust me, I know a thing or two about being a big brother

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Paw… Cookie… Yeah!!!

 

 

Over the course of almost three years Buster and Max have been on the short end of the stick for a lot of famous incidents. There’s the Meatball Massacre, the Christmas Catastrophe and the time Jax let Buster and Max outside in a driving snow storm without us knowing… poor dogs turned into real life Four legged Olafs.

But the thing is these guys were here long before Jackson… and honestly I’ve cleaned more Buster and Max pee and poop then I’ve cleaned up from Jackson. These guys are a huge part of Jackson’s life and from day one, they’ve been extremely protective of him.

Meanwhile, Jackson has tried to ride Buster like he was a camel and has attempted many WWF finishing moves on poor Max. Both dogs have nubby tails, yet Jackson is still able to yank on them and the fact that Buster’s ears are still attached to his head is a miracle.

The thing is though, Jackson has learned how to be patient, caring and at times remorseful through his relationship with his “brothers”. It’s been, at times stressful, but for the most part it’s been so very rewarding to watch my son and two dogs interact and enjoy each other’s company.

 

They say a dog is mans best friend… but I’d venture to say that once a child comes along… a dog is a boy’s best friend. (Especially this little boy and “Di-Di-Dah and Dah”).

 

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#NoPackNo


If you play a good game and you get beat by a better team you live with it. But to get this far and have so much fun… teaching your kid to say Go Pack Go when that literally accounts for 85% of his vocabulary literally is just an amazing feeling. 

A couple of years ago we were about 13 seconds away from the Super Bowl only to just need an onside kick recovery, and then to watch it not happen was heart breaking.   Everyone has their opinion, I guess.  I’m just not sure which is worse.  Watching a last second loss in that fashion years ago… or watching this tragedy unfold from the first drive of the game. 

I just want to watch a Packers Super Bowl win with my son.  Either way… Packers Owner and Packers fan for life. 

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Survey Says…

Everyday is a sunny day because of you.

Those of you that read this blog religiously (hell let’s face it, those of you who have read this blog once or twice) know that my take here isn’t to publicize my opinions on the rights or wrongs on raising a child, nor is it for me to take a stand on recent events or political ideologies currently in the media… I’m more of a “can you believe this actually happened” kind of writer… a mediocre story teller if you will.

With that in mind, I recently read an article that was sent to me about the relationship between parenting and happiness. The article was based on two schools of thought. The first based in part on a 2004 study by Nobel prize-winning economist Danny Kahneman in which he stated that academia has long believed that parenting “is a driver of unhappiness.” The studies conducted and reviewed don’t necessarily say that parenting makes you unhappy, but that parenting doesn’t actually make you happier. Part of the study surveyed almost 1000 parents and found that child care ranked sixteenth in pleasurability out of nineteen activities. (Among things they preferred to parenting: preparing food, watching TV, exercising, talking on the phone, napping, shopping, housework).  HOUSEWORK!!!!!!

I mean don’t get me wrong there are times where I wish I could just binge watch an entire season of The Wire without having to hear my son tell me he wants to watch Bubble Guppies or that he wants some more apple juice. But to say that my life hasn’t been improved by having my son around would be ludicrous.

Maybe it’s not perfect every second, but as a whole, evaluating what my son has ADDED to my life is immeasurable. In a 2013 interview NPR science correspondent Shankar Vedantam, says “there’s a difference between happiness measured on a moment-to-moment level and happiness measured at a larger level”. No cleaning puke and potty training does not rank up there with seeing your favorite band live in concert and certainly pales in comparison to eating ice cream out of the container and watching a whole movie on Netflix without interruption. But, according to Vedantam, parents report “significantly more meaning in their lives than non-parents even though on a day-to-day basis parenting may be a grind.”

I guess for me, I really don’t need any scientific research or studies to tell me my life is infinitely better since my son was born. Then again it’s nice to know that there is some consensus of how stressful parenting can be… but overall how absolutely rewarding it can be as well.

Elton John said it perfectly: “I hope you don’t mind… That I put down in words… How wonderful life is while you’re in the world.”

Credit: NPR.org. Does Having Children Make You Happier? February 2013.

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First Grade Puke Stories

When you teach first grade, encountering children vomiting becomes commonplace. It’s hard for others to understand the magnitude of the puke stories us first grade teachers have. We hold them closely and guard them, because we aren’t always sure if anyone can relate to what we’ve seen. Teaching primary grade students is kind of like being part of a secret society… no one knows the things we’ve seen. 

As I’ve said encountering children throwing as an elementary school administrator is an almost every day event in the first grade. As a result, I have countless puking stories… but nothing compares to this “superbug” as they call it, that has finally landed at my house. 

I’m not sure what to do anymore with this stomach bug. It’s everywhere. It’s literally everywhere and it’s invaded my home. It’s Disgusting and terrifying: It’s stressful to take care of a child who is vomiting. Not only is it going to be entirely horrifying and disgusting to remove and clean chunks from his vomit-laden pillow, taggie, sheets, and clothing, it’s also terrifying to provide support to him because I don’t know exactly what to do for him (let alone because you i get equally uneasy about catching the said vomiting stomach bug). 

It hurts to see your own child sick. And it’s awful having to provide care while working over an hour away… because that care consists of calling to check in. But this morning was tough… watching him lurch forward as he cried “boo-boo” and pointed to him stomach was enough to make even the most experienced first grade teacher cry… and then hurl themselves.  But after getting puked on while wearing my suit for work today… I knew this stomach bug was different. 

This morning there was a trail of puke from Jacksons room, to the bedroom, to the bathroom and down the stairs. Honestly, it got to a point where I just stood him on a towel and let him have at it. The poor kid just standing there covered in puke on a bath towel looking like he hit too much turbulence during a bad magic carpet ride.  

I guess we are going to have to continue to see this one through… thank god we have plenty of magic carpets to ride… and use to mop up chunks… I’ll survive though… this ain’t my first rodeo… I was a first grade teacher.  

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An Unexpected Trip

A couple of weeks ago I got a scary call.  We’ve been to the hospital before… heck Jax was born in a hospital… shocking development I know.  But two Mondays ago an unexpected emergency trip by ambulance to the hospital was one of the scariest days of my life. Getting a call from Stephanie at 4:00, while I am at work and over an hour away, in which she tells me that Jackson is on his way to CCMC by ambulance was not the news any parent wants to receive. Needless to say my ride to Hartford was the longest and shortest ride back from work I’ve had since I started in my new School. 

  • Temp: 102 (98.6 is normal)
  • Oxygen Levels: 81 (98 is normal)
  • Heart Rate: 204 (60-100 is normal

When a pediatrician sees these vitals and then immediately calls an ambulance to take your son to the closest Children’s Medical Center, there is every reason to panic. Seeing your child struggle to breathe has to be one of the most horrible things to watch. Stephanie and Grammy stayed calm for the most part… I on the other hand was close to having a heart attack not knowing what was going on as I sped through traffic on the busiest highway in Connecticut during rush hour. Somehow I made it to the hospital before the ambulance did… flashing lights and sirens and still took them longer to get to the hospital then me… driving from an hour away.

I paced and wandered and looked and waited and paced and paced and paced. Clear and happy thoughts were not something that were floating around in my head. I was nervous… I was scared, but mostly I felt helpless. You have this little human who you are in charge of, you are responsible for and who looks to you for help. 

I spent a lot of that night “trying” to be funny. I made some jokes and laughed a bit with my son. But the humor was just a shield from pain, a costume that showed a stoic face to project a cool, calm and collected parent. But beneath that was hiding the true sadness and fear of not knowing what was going on. Spending most of my life as the “fixer” makes situations like these even more difficult to deal with. 

No this wasn’t (or didn’t at least seem to be) a life threatening visit to the hospital, but anxiety still runs rampant at times like these. At least for me. Although Jackson is almost three at this point, there are still so many firsts to still deal with. This first ambulance ride to the hospital is one I won’t soon forget. 

Jackson is fine, recovering from pneumonia and a viral infection in his lungs… (nothing lots of fluids, lots of Peppa Pig reruns and extra hugs couldn’t take care of). We wound up getting out of the hospital around midnight that night. As I reflect on how lucky we are to have our little man back up to speed and feeling good again, I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you how freaked out I was at the time. 

Everyone from the EMTs to the staff at CCMC was AMAZING… caring, responsive and understanding. They catered on Jax in his elf PJs like he was a king. Whether it was bringing him toys to play with, crayons or sneaking him extra apple juice and graham crackers… thank you for caring for my son… and keeping this dad calm and out of the hospital himself.