Five Fingers are Better Than Four

  
I know I keep harping on this fireworks thing.  I know I described my feelings on fireworks before.  But, let me be clear: I have no real issue with firecrackers or bottle rockets.  As a kid it was part of your initiation with the neighborhood kids. Those are pretty awesome when you’re eight*. 

I can live with out the large firework displays that require 14 people to light them off.  Maybe it’s because I’m not actually lighting them off?  Maybe that’s why I prefer your run of the mill ladyfingers to the mortar shells you see from outer space.  (Did we just have a therapy-breakthrough?). Interesting!

Anyway… Tonight’s post has seemed to get away from me… Point was going to be that the fireworks were more about sitting around with family.  Not having to do anything but relax and enjoy each other’s company!

    

*PS: you would think that if an eight year old has the sense to be careful around fireworks than a grown man (who makes enough money to pay 500 people to light off fireworks for him) would have enough sense to not blow off their own hand lighting fireworks off. 

Way to go JPP

 

‘Murica


Another year, another 4th of July come and gone.  Anytime I get to spend a long weekend with the family is a weekend well spent.  Anytime I get to spend a long weekend with the family and get to eat food that I didn’t have to prepare and enjoy other people’s backyards that I didn’t have to set up or clean afterwards is a weekend worth its weight in gold.

Thanks to Betty and Tony for having us on Saturday!

Those of you who know me, know I am a Revolutionary War Era nut.  I love the holiday… but mostly for its history and less for the stupid traidtions of fireworks and hotdogs.   

In my opinion fireworks are the most OVERRATED holiday tradition.  Nothing is more overrated Every SINGLE year I all I hear about is where the best fireworks are, when are they going off in certain towns so that everyone can coordinate firework watching parties.  Everyone just sits around and watches them like its some amazing feat… something they’ve never seen before… and then its over and your left wondering, “is that it?”  OVER-RATED.  I can see if you were a colonist sitting on a hill watching fireworks to celebrate the surrender of General Corwallis… then maybe I’d enjoy them… but now… in 2015… I’ll pass!

 

I will give in and admit that the Bomb Pop is what the 4th of July is really all about (food, beer and bomb pops)… I’ve recently noticed that there are at least five or six new Bomb Pop flavors… but nothing can and nothing ever will top the RED, WHITE, and BLUE Bomb Pop… it is the OG of Bomb Pops

SHOUT OUT TO THE MOST AMERICAN SONG IN THE HISTORY OF SONGS:

Busy Weekend

The past few days in the life of “Chronicles of a New Dad” have been a whirlwind of events, emotions and shenanigans.  Let’s recap our holiday weekend:

Visit to Uncle Eli’s house… where there seemed to be so much adult fun babies and toddlers everywhere.  Oh, how our lives have changed.

July 4th boating trip… apparently the one size fits all tag on the infant life-vest was a little exaggerated, It looked more like one of those blow up sumo suits on Jax than a life vest.

Back to CCMC for more poo tests… the positive: this type of allergy is common and most children outgrown it by one… the negative: we need to watch for bright red blood in the diapers.

Dad set fire to the kitchen… in an attempt to get dinner ready, your good ole New Dad left the toast in the toaster oven about 45 minutes too long.  Flames ensued… screams followed!

Where in the parenting handbook do they show you how to properly do all this stuff… I don’t need to know how to mix formula, it says it on the can, all the cute little pictures and quotes they put in the parent guide they send you home from in the hospital took up all the room for the important information like… umm… I don’t know… how to effectively maneuver around toys, tummy time mats, a boppy, other children, bottles and two dogs while attempting to keep the rhythm when rocking the little one to sleep.

Or how about the fact that the parent guide tells you not to leave your child unattended in the bath when they are an infant?  REALLY?  Do some people need to know that?  How about a chapter on POOP and what to look for?  I would have been happy with a few paragraphs on how to react when the GI doctor tells you to “Be on the lookout for BLOODY poop!”  Are there people out there who don’t think red poop is something worth reporting?   

PS:  Working fire alarms only count as working fire alarms, if they work when there is an actual fire.

NOTE TO SELF: Replace fire alarms tonight.