Sunday Morning Shows (Review)

Sunday morning is for the Green Bay Packers, football, fantasy football and the RedZone channel.  However, when you get up at 6:30 you have to wait a few hours before you can watch anything NFL related.

So today we gave two shows a shot:  Harry Bunny and VocabuLarry.

Here are my reviews:

Harry Bunny:  Harry is a weird little rabbit who refers to himself in the third person.  The dude is a total creep.  He looks like a ’70s style Muppet that tried to hard to be cool.  I bet he was shunned by the other bunnies in his group because he thought he was cooler than he really was.  He is that kid that you knew in high school that tried way to hard to be funny.  He always took the joke too far.

The biggest problem with this show is the fact that I am unsure of what its purpose is.  What are viewers supposed to get out of it?  Today he took out a carton of milk and had a glass of milk next to it.  Mind you the carton saidMILK in giant letters.  Harry spent 15 minutes trying to determine what the white liquid was in the glass… really?  Earth to Harry, it’s MILK… my six month old son knows what milk is… it was the first thing on earth he could identify.

The Grades:
Main Character:  Grade: D- A scary looking, gigantic rabbit that talks in the third person.  If that was not bad enough his voice is a mix of a twelve year old boy going through puberty and that Rebecca Black YouTube chick that “sang” Friday.
Learning:
  Grade: D (Teach my kid some colors or something.  He already knows what milk is, he’s been drinking it since he was an hour old.)
Intangibles:
 Grade: D (No friends, refers to himself by name, voice that could shatter glass… He’s lucky he got a D.)
Overall:
 D

VocabuLarry: Larry is a cute and curious parrot with an appetite for learning new words. Every environment into which he flies features one recurring item, e.g. a piece of furniture, article of clothing, a toy, etc. With the help of a narrator, Larry learns the name of the object of the day, and staying true to his parrot nature, he repeats the name over and over again, using humorous animated gestures along the way.

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How can you not love this little guy?

The Grades:
Main Character: Grade A- (The only reason he gets the minus here is because he is missing a pirate friend, no parrot is complete with out a pirate to talk to.  )

Learning:  Grade: B+  (Larry teaches vocabulary words through humor.  His grades get a bump because he teachers the words in a multitude of learning styles, the words are written, spoken and have pictorial representations as well.  He also teaches the plural form of the words too… BONUS!)

Intangibles: Grade: A+ (VocabuLarry’s theme song is Grammy worthy… very catchy

Overall: A

15 Things we did as Kids that were Really Dangerous: Article Review

Although this blog is mostly saved for documenting my life as a father and our family as we grow together… Every now and again I come across an article that lends itself to a discuss about raising children.

Recently I read an article that was titled: 15 Things We Did as Kids That were Really Dangerous.  I wasn’t totally surprised about what was on the list… I was assuming that there were going to be some no brainers on there like sitting in the back of the station wagon, or play with fireworks… but some of the things listed absolutely blew my mind… (thanks to www.chacha.com for the entertaining read).

15 Things We Did as Kids That Were Really Dangerous

1.  Climbing Trees:  ”When you’re a kid, you think you’re invincible, leading to some pretty reckless behavior!”  Since when is climbing a tree reckless?  It’s a tree, you’re supposed to climb it… what else are you supposed to do with it?  When my brother was seven, he climbed a tree at our grandma’s house and fell out of it and broke his wrist.  Without this incident he would have never learned that he is supposed to hold on to something when he is at high altitudes… Valuable life lesson if you ask me.

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2. Jump off the Swings:  “If you got a really good swing going, you could have jumped off at ten feet or higher! One wrong move and you could have easily hurt yourself.”   That is exactly the point… when you’re a kid there is no better way of proving you’re a badass like jumping off the swing further than everyone else.  At seven years old it’s pretty much the ultimate show off move in your bag of tricks. 

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3. Trick of Treating: “The fact that we send kids out one night a year to strangers houses begging for candy is crazy if you think about it too hard.”  You know what, I don’t disagree with this one… I touched upon the craziness of this event in an earlier blog.

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4. Playing with Sparklers: “Of course some kids are going to find away to play with actual fireworks, which is terrifying.”  Listen I’m not saying give your kid a stick of dynamite or some mortar shells… but sparkles?  Come on… They’re about as dangerous as a flashlight.

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5. Seesaw: “Back in the day you had to rely on your partner to keep you safe, or not.”  Seesaws are death machines… an evil torture device created to wreak havoc on the playgrounds of our childhoods.  I hated when my “friend” would jump off and you would slam down from seven stories up.  The shock waves that were sent up your rear-end and back were devastating.

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6. No Seatbelts:  “It wasn’t that long ago (the 80s) that kids weren’t required to wear seatbelts.”  Is this true?  If so… someone missed the boat on this one… not sure what kids didn’t get strapped in as a kid back in the ‘80s.  Click it or Ticket!

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7. No Helmets:  “Kids never used to wear helmets to ride a bicycle. In fact, it would have been so embarrassing to do so, they probably would have rather died than be seen wearing a helmet.”  I definitely fell victim to this one… I hated wearing a helmet.  I have a little Beetle Juice head… so nothing ever fit me right… If I wore a helmet, I would have had to probably use a coffee mug, because everything else was too big.  I’ll pass.

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8. Play Outside All Day: “Anything could have happened the second you left the door and no one would have known until you didn’t come home on time that night. It was crazy!”  Once my mom fed me breakfast, I was given a small amount of food and my sneakers and told not to come home until it was dark.  I’m pretty sure she locked the door and took the phones off the hook too.  That’s the way it should be… get outside, build a fort, play football in the street.

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9. Sledding: “Of course sledding down a steep icy hill can result in some extreme speeds and watch out for the trees!” Sledding? Come on… really?!! No Comment

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10. Staying Home Alone: “A generation or two ago, younger kids would often be left at home alone to fend for themselves while both parents worked.”  Give the kids a hamster wheel and a water dispenser and a cell phone and they’re ok.

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11. Dangerous Toys: “Many even involved projectiles such as lawn darts, slingshots and of course BB guns.”  No guns in this house.  Just not a fan.

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12.  Bunk Beds: “And it was also pretty easy to hit your head on the bottom of the top bunk. In fact, about 36,000 kids are injured on these beds every year.” Bunk beds are death traps!  They’re coffins for people who are still alive.  The above stat is probably just a third of the injuries that actually happen… because if it were me… no way would I actually admit that my kid was injured on a bunk bed.  “There’s so much room for activities!”

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13. Piñata: “OK, whose brilliant idea was it to give an already over excited child a stick, blindfold him and tell him to whack at a piñata full of candy while surrounded by other kids just waiting to rush in and grab that candy.”  Until I read the description from this website I never knew how awesome piñatas really are.  Dangerous- NO… Awesome- YES!

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14. Sliding Down the Stairs: “If you didn’t slide down the stairs in a laundry basket or cardboard box or at least down the bannister, you didn’t fully enjoy your childhood!”  Well when you put it that way… again another description that completely makes me wonder how anyone would find this activity dangerous.  I’m 35 years old and I still slide down railings!

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15. Licking the Spoon:  “Little did we know that most of those doughs contained raw eggs that could very easily have exposed us to salmonella!”  I guess this is a good way to end… You know you want to lick the brownie batter… you know its bad for you… you know you shouldn’t… but you do it anyway.

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Gross Habits Passed Down: Article Review

I’m a pretty big Twitter nut. I follow the usual athletes, a few politicians and the occasional news/media outlets. However, it is my new Twitter “obsession” that is beginning to take a toll on my ability to parent effectively… The “I’m not a guy, but I am going to tell you what is gross about you so that you can teach your son to not do it when he grows up” propaganda.

Ive read a lot of articles recently that focusses on bad habits and why dad’s need to be better role models for their sons. First of all, I don’t judge my ability to parent based on someone opinion about how inappropriate men are… and second, it’s already too late!

This morning, while shaving over the sink, I ran across this blog that listed the top five things that all boys need to be taught to avoid. I get it, we men are gross, but what you don’t understand is we don’t care. I’m in no way advocating for living like someone on Hoarders or even saying that I don’t qualify for the Metrosexual Club of America… but as my grandfather once said, “Leave the guy alone, it’s all he’s got left!”

Here are the Top Five I am supposed to help my son avoid: (I copied this word for word and then added my commentary in ITALICS):

1. The pick-and-flick
“Speaking of nasty things being flung around at full speed and “disappearing” — ugh! Tissues: Please get a box!”

Tissues? Nope, they’re a waste of time and trees (wait are tissues made from trees)? Either way, There is absolutely no way in hell this can be avoided. Plus boogers are biodegradable, i heard that from Al Gore in his Global Warming Documentary and hey, he won a Nobel Peace Prize, so you know he’s got to be right.
2. Leaving beard shavings all over the sink
“We know you see those tiny trimmings all over the sides of the sink. It’s time to take some responsibility, man!”

I think I may have missed the memo on this one while researching for this blog entry. (see above). In all reality, shaving is one of the most horrible and miserable parts of being a guy… Wait, What? You hate shaving too? Ohh, that’s right, you have to shave your legs. By the way… do I complain about the stubble you leave in the shower? Right, then leave me alone.

3. Stink Bombs
“Some men take pride in having really offensive, faint-inducing gas. Save this “fun” for your college buddies, not cuddle time on the couch. And if you always emit fumes that smell like toxic waste, lay off the milk or see a specialist, puh-lease! (P.S.: Dutch ovens are not funny.”

And you are telling this to a guy who uses the Poop emoji 💩on his phone more than regular punctuation. Bottom line, poop💩 is funny and farts are even funnier. I must have blogged about poo 💩 three times a week since Jax was born. There is no way I’m teaching Jackson NOT to fart. Even now at five and a half months old he laughs at his own gas… he doesn’t know his own name yet, but he thinks farts are funny. Why you ask, because farts are funny. If I am going to impart any knowledge on him in regards to “stink bombs” it will be how to hide them and the art of blaming others (Crop Dusting).

4. Public Scratcing
“What are the reasons behind the constant scratching and shifting around? Take it down a notch, bud.”

GUILTY.AS.CHARGED. But here’s the thing, there is absolutely no way to avoid this. This is not so much a gross habit as it is a life skill. This is something I’m already witnessing happen and the kid is only in a diaper. I can’t even get his onesie completely unbuttoned before he has his little fingers down below attempting to adjust himself. Guys scratch, guys adjust. Jax will too.

5. Peeing on the toilet seat
“Do not blame this on waking up in the middle of the night and being too groggy to see what you’re doing. No one’s asking you to pee into the opening of a soda can, for goodness sakes. It’s a big bowl — just aim straight for the middle. And then put the seat down when you’re done, k?”

See now I generally agree with this one, however, I do not want to raise a son who thinks that men and women aren’t equal or that men do things that women “can’t.” I absolutely agree that we need to pee in the toilet, I try to turn it into a game… put a cheerio in there and see how long you can keep the stream in the middle… kind of like that game at the carnival with the water guns. However, expecting men to life the seat and put it back down for women just sends a message of inequality. You see toilet seats are gross and dirty and women can get dirty just as much as a guy can. I want Jackson to grow up with the understanding that men and women are equal. Any job a guy can do… there is a women out there who can do it just as well.

I want to thank SheKnows.com women’s website for the interesting read about Gross Guy Habits and how a father needs to teach his son better. I’ll do my best as a new dad to teach my son right from wrong, and I will always use each situation, mistakes or otherwise, as a teachable moment… but the above requests… probably not going to happen.

Sirius XM Kid’s Bop Radio: Review

As a long time SiriusXM subscriber I have listed to and enjoyed a wide variety of radio entertainment.  Part of being a good parent is being aware of what your child is exposed to.  This brings me to the reason for today’s blog entry…  My review of SiriusXM Kidz Bop Channel 77:

-Miley Cyrus songs are just as terrible with kids signing them; although, there is definitely more talent there than Miley.

-There is nothing lost in translation when “explicit or controversial” lyrics are changed and made “clean.”  IE: Macklemore states in his Thrift shop song that some item from the thrift shop smells as bad as RKelly’s sheets… in the clean version the item smells as bad as a pair of baseball cleats.  I mean anyone who has played baseball (or any sport that requires the use of cleats) especially in the rain, knows how putrid they smell the next morning.  I’d say that would be very comparable to the smell that would come from RKelly’s sheets.

-I know they clean up the lyrics and all… but it feels really awkward listening to anything by Rihanna when it is being sung by a teenager.

-There’s a Kidz Bop Concert coming up… Thank god Jax is only five months old and has no idea what Kidz Bop Radio is.

   Rating:   3 out of 5 Diapers

                   

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