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6.19.14. – How a New Dad Can Stay Alive

A few words of wisdom for the new dads out there… These simple rules will help you in your attempt to see another day.

1:  No more last minute rendezvous with the boys:

You that time when you were at work and finally it was time to go after checking your watch, cell phone and the wall clock in the break room every 35 seconds… and then your idiot boss tells you he needs you to do inventory … how much did you hate that guy?  On a scale of 1-10 it was about a 27 right?  SAME THING!

2. When you pull in the garage, get the F in the house:

The dogs turn into Kujo when they hear the garage door open.  Do NOT check the mailbox, talk to your neighbor about the week in baseball or how much you hate your job.  Do NOT check to see if the grass seed you planted two months ago is coming in…  There is no doubt that inside that door is a wife/mom who is sitting on the edge of the couch counting down the seconds she can go pee with the door closed.

3.  Do not ask what’s for dinner:

If you are lucky enough to not find divorce papers on the kitchen table, chalk that up as a win!

4.  Do not tell her that you day was worse than hers:

If you had a bad day, put your head down and walk silently away.  To complain about the paperwork, people you work with or commute will only result in being suffocated by a burp cloth full of regurgitated breast milk.

5.  When your wife says she is heading out… you are not BABYSITTING (IE: Adam):

You do not babysit your own child… your wife can call it babysitting because chances are all husbands still qualify as a baby and need constant supervision.

6.  Do not prop your child and his bottle up with pillows, a blanket and your latest copy of SI:

In order to free up hands for optimal remote control channel changing it may be necessary to invent a this type of prop.  If you are caught in this position when your wife had been staring at her coffee until 3:00PM you are screwed.  There is nothing you can do or say to save you from the wrath that is a wife who has seen this.

I’m telling you right now, all of these are mistakes that I have been lucky enough to survive.  The murderous look in my wife’s eyes as I try to talk my way out of these errors is scary, I’ve seen the woman give birth… there is no doubt she could end me if she so desired!  Heed my advice dads… Don’t make the same mistakes I have!>

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6.18.14. – Sleep Miracles

Last night was the first time all 5 of us (Buster and Max included) spent the ENTIRE night together in the same room.

Slept from 10:00-3:30 and then again from 4:00-6:00. Feel like a champ, look like a champ… Hell I even brushed my teeth and shaved this morning!

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6.17.14. – Eggggggcelllentttt

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Jackson you have made me proud! You clearly are a fast learner. This is a life lesson that I wanted to pass on very quickly (more for me than you at this stage). But it works with all women, first you complain, then you begin to whine and when all else fails you go to DEFCON 1 and go FULL ON TANTRUM.

If there is a sale at the mall… skip all preceding steps and commence DEFCON 1 IMMEDIATELY!

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6.17.14. – Front Page Story

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“He’ll be famous – a legend – I wouldn’t be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in future – there will be books written about Harry – every child in our world will know his name!’”

Does this quote or does this quote perfectly sum up how famous Jackson already is?!??! Student newspaper highlighting the birth of a legend.

PS (Editor of the school newspaper needs to be fired, Jax was born on April 27 not 12).

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6.16.14. – Internet Facts

According to @UberFacts: “People with higher IQs tend to have a more difficult time falling asleep at night due to increased brain activity.”

First of all, just like Abraham Lincoln famously said, “You Can’t Believe Most of the Quotes You Read On the Internet.” But in this case I completely believe it. It just makes sense. Jackson has clearly some advanced brain power (which was passed down through daddy’s genes) and is causing him difficulty falling asleep.

TRUTH!

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6.14.14 – God, Family and the Green Bay Packers

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’ve always been interested in writing “for something”… a blog, a website, a book… Something other than status updates or “live tweeting” the State of the Union Address. So, recently I had been searching for the right opportunity, and when I was approached by a start-up website with the possibility of being a writer I decided to take a shot. What better way to get my start then to write about The GREEN BAY PACKERS. I mean as a part owner I should have plenty of insight and knowledge right? Well fast forward a few days after submitting my “interview” article and I’m now a senior writer on staff!

I want to share the article I submitted to get the job, which in turn would go on to become my first published article. (To Jax, Hope you like it:

My Favorite Green Bay Packer
When I was asked to do this article, I was told to pick my favorite all-time Green Bay Packer and write a description of him. Immediately my head was swimming with choices and confusion…would it be Sterling Sharpe, who was Calvin Johnson before Calvin Johnson was even born? How about Brett Favre, the “Gunslinger of the North,” who kept us in every game? Or what about Charles Woodson, who displayed the heart of a lion and tried to play through a broken collarbone in order to bring back the Lombardi Trophy home? Those are all obvious choices…There are hundreds to choose from; I mean, come on! We are the most legendary franchise in the NFL, right?

But to me there is more to the Green Bay Packers than the legendary figures who once and still roam The Frozen Tundra…to me, there is something else that makes our fan base a “real living, breathing thing.” Family… Vince Lombardi said it, my parents said it… heck, I’m saying it now… family is what makes being a Packers fan (and owner) so special.

My son was born just over a month and a half ago and the joy of being a father sometimes gets lost in dirty diapers and sleepless nights… when the thoughts of Rodgers to Nelson are far, far away. Yet, it’s that quick thought of ARod lofting a touchdown pass, even if for a fleeting second, that gets me so excited. The thought of sharing the Green Bay Packers with my son, the thought of Sundays with him in my lap, the thought of putting him in his first Clay Mathews jersey, the thought of something that is bigger than me, bigger than him… because the Packers make it about “US.”

To me growing up so far from Lambeau Field made it tough to find someone who wasn’t rooting for those teams in New York or Boston… it was lonely on the East Coast as a Packers fan. But as I grew I realized that we are everywhere and even though sometimes only connected by “The Internets” (as my mom calls it), we are all family. Now that family—my family—has grown and I have the opportunity to share something that is more than a game with my little man. And although there is no doubt there will be stories about that Gunslinger of the North, and the guy they called The Golden Boy, it will be more about my son and I and the experiences we share together.

Besides, Coach Lombardi couldn’t have been wrong… he added it in his Top 3… God, FAMILY and THE GREEN BAY PACKERS!

Check out our website:
http://www.packersunite.com

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6.13.14 – Texts and Grills

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Ohh you know, just your average husband and wife conversation.

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Dessert for the #DairyFree #SoyFree Mom. The things we do for our kids #JacksonCarmine #MadnessWedding

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“…And I also pray that daddy gets that new grill he wants for #FathersDay … amen”

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6.12.14. – College Years

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At least someone will get some sleep in that thing tonight! The sleep tally counter is barely moving tonight I can already feel it. Doc says there’s this stage where a baby cries non stop for no reason btwn weeks 6 & 7 and he might have hit that early! Great!

Kids already a freaking genius. I mean running down milestones like a Kardashian runs down rich dudes!

“How old is your baby you ask? ….Well he’s about 6 weeks, but he’s pretty advanced, he’s already crying nonstop for no reason… Yeah we’re just starting to look into colleges for him. We feel he needs to be challenged.”

Speaking of College… Jax’ first crush?

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