Author Archives: Peter

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Busy Weekend

The past few days in the life of “Chronicles of a New Dad” have been a whirlwind of events, emotions and shenanigans.  Let’s recap our holiday weekend:

Visit to Uncle Eli’s house… where there seemed to be so much adult fun babies and toddlers everywhere.  Oh, how our lives have changed.

July 4th boating trip… apparently the one size fits all tag on the infant life-vest was a little exaggerated, It looked more like one of those blow up sumo suits on Jax than a life vest.

Back to CCMC for more poo tests… the positive: this type of allergy is common and most children outgrown it by one… the negative: we need to watch for bright red blood in the diapers.

Dad set fire to the kitchen… in an attempt to get dinner ready, your good ole New Dad left the toast in the toaster oven about 45 minutes too long.  Flames ensued… screams followed!

Where in the parenting handbook do they show you how to properly do all this stuff… I don’t need to know how to mix formula, it says it on the can, all the cute little pictures and quotes they put in the parent guide they send you home from in the hospital took up all the room for the important information like… umm… I don’t know… how to effectively maneuver around toys, tummy time mats, a boppy, other children, bottles and two dogs while attempting to keep the rhythm when rocking the little one to sleep.

Or how about the fact that the parent guide tells you not to leave your child unattended in the bath when they are an infant?  REALLY?  Do some people need to know that?  How about a chapter on POOP and what to look for?  I would have been happy with a few paragraphs on how to react when the GI doctor tells you to “Be on the lookout for BLOODY poop!”  Are there people out there who don’t think red poop is something worth reporting?   

PS:  Working fire alarms only count as working fire alarms, if they work when there is an actual fire.

NOTE TO SELF: Replace fire alarms tonight.

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Captain Jack

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Ok so there are 2 schools of thought here. Either 1- Max is sharing his baby with his little brother or 2- Max is trying the old switcharoo so he can sneak Jax outside and bury him in the garden.

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Uncle Dusty and Capt. Jack #Pirate #Boat #UncleAndNephew

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Bored

So I’m sitting in the house on a gorgeous day at 1130 w my sidekick. (It’s true his onsie says so). The kicker is… I’m not sure what you can do with a 2 month old?

It’s scary that my first thought was the dog park, but I guess those are only for dogs right… Would anyone object to Jax doing tummy time on the infield w a few poodles?? Can I bring him to Home Depot? Is he too young for him own wratchet set? I’m at a complete loss here.

Suggestions?

… and it’s already a no to getting him to mow the lawn or weed the gardens. Ridiculous child labor laws.

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To Do: Add Tylenol to the Arsenal

Today started out like a normal day a few dirty diapers, a hungry baby lots of coffee and dad forgetting his breakfast and sunglasses somewhere in the garage… Luckily we did remember to get Jax to the Doctor for his Two Month check up. Then the little man spiked his first fever. 2 month check up yielded 3 shots which resulted in a temp. Bring on the panic, internet searches and phone calls. Being a parent has literally the most ups and downs of anything I’ve ever experienced (well except maybe a Thanksgiving dinner with the family). He’s smiling then 13 seconds later has a fever and is miserable. It’s hard to feel helpless, but infant Tylenol came to the rescue this time. Let’s see how long this lasts.

I should have seen this coming. I work with kids, I’ve seen what happens to children after a doctor visit. Hell I’m 35 and they still need half a dozen office staff to hold me down when I get a shot. Next time shots are on the menu I’ll have they Tylenol ready in a freaking IV Drip

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Max Guards the Little Lord of the Castle

I just witnessed the greatest show of love and protection known to man! Jax was having a rough time so Auntie Sue and her troops came over to lend a hand. Upon entering the house they were greeted by Buster and Max. A few barks and some growling and they were done… Until they made their way to Jackson. Max literally positioned himself in between the baby and them. Every time they moved he moved, no growling. Just watching…staring… Judging. Once they showed they were there to help, Max went and laid down.

Beautiful show of affection and love from big brother Max. He’s grown into a fine young pup. Gone are the days he would run head first into the cabinets… This is the new Max. Where was Bister you ask? Setting a good example of how to look after his little brother, right? Try he was eating all the puke off the play mat and blanket.

1 Step forward, 2 steps back at the Fragola household.

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Saved by the Bell – The New, New Class

 

11 12 13 14SAVED BY THE BELL, THE NEW CLASS

Dear Jackson,

I’m writing you this letter today for two reasons.  One to introduce you to your uncle Adam, Eli and Ryan (AKA Otto, Big ‘Uns and RFizzle), and the second is to tell you how important friends will be to your growing up and beyond.  I cannot remember exactly when or how I knew these idiots would become as close as family, it sort of just happened.  One day you are standing next to them in the bus line in middle school, or trying to hit golf balls onto the highway with them, or peeing in someone’s basement and the next they are visiting your newborn son in the hospital.

Family is family; nothing will ever take away from that.  But friends are the family that you choose.  I’m not sure if I chose them or they choose me, but for better or for worse, we’re all stuck with each other.  Here is where you come in… I want you to make sure that you choose your friends wisely.  Make sure you know that real friends do not ever leave you… they piss you off, they may drive you nuts… but in the end they are the support you need in good times and in bad.  The best part of a guy’s group of friends, is the incessant amount of trash talking that goes on all in good fun!

I guess what I am trying to say, is that I hope when you grow up you can meet your own Zach, Slater or Screech… hopefully you, Emma, Carter and Blakely will become close… but just remember, Buddy Bands are not as cool as they used to be!

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Fireworks are Illegal

To who ever drove across country to illegally buy fireworks so they could shoot them off tonight: I HATE YOU, I HOPE ONE OF YOUR BOTTLE ROCKETS SHOOTS YOU IN THE BUTT. Jackson is now awake and screaming as if we were taking heavy artillery fire. We slept a total of two hours the past two night BC of the wedding and tonight needed to be night filled with lights out, uninterrupted, blacked out SLEEP. And now because we are experiencing Revolutionary War mortar shells explode in our front yard, that seems impossible.

Its 10:30 at night and its not the 4th of July, hell its not even JULY yet! I’m all about celebrating our dominance of the Brits… But why do people feel the need to do this from their houses this late at night? I’m going to record the screams coming out of this little body right now and play them on this guys answer machine every night until next May and see how much sleep he gets then. YEAH INDEPENDENCE!