Your Move Ebola

I’ve about had it with this Ebola nonsense.  It used to be having a baby, the only thing you had to worry about was croup or maybe diaper rash.  Now the Rapture has come and is about to wipe out the planet in the name of Ebola.  People are just walking around passing germs around like they’re freaking tic-tacs.  No one knows what’s going on, governments holding secret press conferences, nurses catching it from patients, people being scanned at the airport… this is too much.

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The best part is, we are totally prepared to handle this thing if it spreads, right.  WRONG: The map shows the hospitals in the US that have Bio Containment Units.  There’s like four… FOUR!!!  Are you kidding me?  There are 11,910 Starbucks in the United States… but we only have four Bio Containment Units?  Priorities people!  Anyone with Ebola is getting shipped out to one of these hospital units… once the ten beds are full, then what?  Can we send them into outer space?  Send them to the International Space Station.  I bet zero gravity will help contain the spread of Ebola.

I’m not taking any chances here, no grocery store, no gas stations, I’m not even welcoming house guests anymore.  That’s it… My borders are closed.  Nobody in and nobody out.  Jackson is being raised in a bubble.

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Hey Ebola, Have fun running rampant across the amber waves of grain, purple mountain majesties and above the fruited plains, because you aint getting to us.  I’m not going to sit here and pretend like this is the Bird Flu, H1N1 or Y2K, which clearly were scams… this is real and you are not going to find us bleeding from our ears or pooping out our kidneys.  Your move Ebola.

2 thoughts on “Your Move Ebola

  1. Pingback: 2014: A Year in Review | Sorry Son: Chronicles of a New Dad

  2. Pingback: *The Future* | Sorry Son: Chronicles of a New Dad

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