So tired… just spent the past three minutes pissed off that the remote wasn’t working
Why Can’t I get this to Work?!
Tag Archives: sleep
Before and After
Back in the day when I was a youngin’ Fall used to be about 3 things: Football, Watching Sleepy Hallow in sweat pants and doing nothing. Now We have a kid and we are expected to do parenting stuff.
Parent stuff is different than non parent stuff. I didn’t want to look at leaves last fall and I definetely don’t want to look at them this fall. Yes I love New England, yes leaves and colors are great to look at for like five seconds… Hiking, camping, leaf peeping… Definitely all family like activities. Before I was lucky if I could down a cup of coffee and drag my butt to the gym. Now… no more going to the gym to work on sculpting the perfect physique, definitely just leaf peepin’ now.
That’s not me. I’m not trying to sit still with a pair of binoculars and a .45 millimeter lens to take photos of nature. I just want to lay down in my dark man cave in my pajamas.
Before Jax came along things were different… Not better just different. Weekends were for laziness. They consisted of anything but activities, anything but putting on jeans and having to take a shower.
Back in the day weekends consisted of being able to compose a novel on the toilet. I read every article of Sports Illustrated (or at least the ones that didn’t have to do with hockey). Now I’m lucky if I get to finish what I started.
Weekends were for laziness, weekends were for cleaning out the DVR which was up to about 87% full… If I was able to mow the lawn that was a plus. Now… Well… Now I do parent stuff. I go to fairs, I drive to grandma’s house and I go leaf peepin’. But then again, if that means I get to spend time with my little man… Get me some binoculars.
First Date
Remember your first night at college when you and your roommate literally looked for anything to keep you awake and out of your dorm room past 2AM? I remember Jay Varmey and I wondering across campus at like 11:00 then getting back to the dorm and playing Madden until after midnight, and for me that was a good night. I was never a partier or stay out late kinda guy (Don’t get me wrong I had my fair share of interesting nights).
But let me tell you this… Having a kid changes everything. (I’m not complaing). Now, if I could be in bed by 8:00 and sleep more than 45 minutes without having to worry if Jax’ arm is wedged in between the supposedly baby proof, safety mesh screen and the crib slats, id consider that a successful night. So getting a night all to ourselves is special. It’s important… and most of all it’s short
But this is real life and sometimes real life isn’t fair. So if you’re told it’s date night, then it’s date night. Doesn’t matter if you spent the last three nights staring at the baby monitor. Plan something, and make reservations.
PS: I fell asleep at least 4 times while writing this blog entry.
Nighttime Routines
Night time routines have become like clockwork here lately… A perfect and systematic approach to sleep preparation.
When we imagined how sleepy time would happen we saw the twinkling stars as Jackson lay peacefully in his comfortable bed as soft lullabies played in the background. Jax would slowly drift off into dreamland as his slate blue eyes closed and he faded into the darkness of night.
We would just sit in the family room, mom in her kerchief and I in my cap. We would share stories of our day. I’d sip on herbal tea as she listed all the things she loves about me.
It would be pure nirvana.
We get him fed, bathed and ready for bed at 7:00 as per our amazing unbreakable routine.
It’s all about the routine. Phone could ring, text messages are buzzing… Hell Ed McMahon could show up at the door with an oversized check from Publisher’s Clearing House and we are not missing our set bed time.
Routine is everything.
Everything is perfect… It’s 7:01 Jax is laying in that adorable way where one arm is folded like Gumby in what looks like an extremely painful way to sleep, but ensures us he is out. The noise machine is humming, we tiptoe out and can just taste that herbal tea.
Then… Dogs bark.
Crying ensues.
Me: it’s fine there’s someone walking a dog outside they’ll stop in a second.
Wife: I don’t care… Shut them up before he gets up.
10 minutes later: Dogs cease barking and Jax is still crying.
Wife: I hate when he cries, I feel so bad.
Me: I know, me too
5 minutes later:
Wife: Maybe he just needs someone to rub his back.
Me: do you want me to go?
Wife: Well, no… Then he gets used to that.
Me: I guess we can wait a few minutes.
3 minutes and 37 seconds later
Silence.
Wife: He’s so cute when he’s sleeping isn’t he?
Me: I know, I can’t even take it.
43 seconds later
Kujo and his little brother begin waking the neighborhood again. We both immediately freeze in our spots and cringe in silence and stare at each other.
Nothing.
Dogs are now chasing each other around the kitchen and barking.
More cringing.
More nothing…
Finally: everyone is quiet and sleep ensues for everyone in this routine rich household.
Without even thinking twice we both pass up on the romantic conversation and tea… And crash on the bed… It’s our turn to try to get some shut eye.
Play Time
“Whattya mean sleep in??!!?!! It’s Sunday, there’s so much to do on Sundays… I need to play with each of my 500 toys for 3 seconds each and also there’s at least 17 things I saw on the floor in the family room I haven’t put in my mouth yet (by the way… The gray remote does not taste very good). There’s also this thing I keep seeing that I need to get a closer look at… There’s this silver looking box that lights up, you know the one that people hide in… I gotta see how those people get in there. You see dad Sundays are to interesting to sleep in!!”
Big spoon and little spoon. #Brothers #Buster #Jax
Dinner Date
Only big boys sit at the dinner table…
Sometimes a dad’s gotta do what a dad’s gotta do. #IfYouCantBeatEmJoinEm #CribWeightLimit? #Roommates #GoToSleep #WhatEverWorks
PS: Truer words have never been spoken.
#HandsomeLikeDaddy #LikeFatherLikeSon.
All Grown Up?!??
First night in the crib. I hate it… I hate everything about it. Sleep well little man
Realizing You’re Old
How do you know you’re a new parent? When you fall asleep outside of a TCBY at 4:10 PM.
Get Home… Finally get him to sleep and then… JAX is in a blacked out sleep. Has been for 30 mins. Then just screams bloody murder… like someone was stabbing him… 2 piercingly loud screams and then immediately fell back asleep. Is that normal?
Literally have never felt so helpless in my life. Totally want to hug him and tell him mommy and I are here… But then again I don’t want to wake the dragon.
Love you little man.
6.18.14. – Sleep Miracles
Last night was the first time all 5 of us (Buster and Max included) spent the ENTIRE night together in the same room.
Slept from 10:00-3:30 and then again from 4:00-6:00. Feel like a champ, look like a champ… Hell I even brushed my teeth and shaved this morning!
5.18.14 – 2AM Questions
1. Does the 5 second rule apply to pacifiers?
2. If I put 2 diapers on you at once does that mean you can go double the amount of time before I have to change you?
Sorry Sons: Chronicles of a New Dad 