A Pollen Death Sentence

Poor Oliver. This kid is (as the kids call it) a hot mess. Claritin, Inhalers, Benadryl and Nebulizers… ohh my.

The pollen covers the earth like a warm blanket. Oliver’s allergies cover him like a goddamn plastic garbage bag.

I don’t get how we can land people on the moon, clone humans and gather sediment from lakes on Mars, but someone can’t figure out how to keep my sons eyes from turning purple every night.

Damn You Pollen. Damn YOU!

Heavyweight Title Fight

We now have trees downright declaring war on society… mother nature has had enough of the pollution and littering so she is fighting back.  This tree isn’t going to stand idly by while deforestation continues on 24-7 like its no big deal.  As soon as I saw this video I started rubbing my eyes and my throat was as itchy as can be.

Two days after the trees began fighting back I lost my voice, my mother in-law is basically on bed rest and my son looks like he went eight rounds with Ivan Drago.

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I know that cancer and heart attacks are the number one and two killers in the world (and trust me I would know as my family has been ravaged by both for years), but pollen has to be running a close third.  I haven’t had bad allergies in ages, but all of a sudden I sound like Louis Armstrong and my eyes feel Mr. Fuji just threw a handful of salt in them.  I’ve sniffed enough saline nasal spray to send my sodium levels through the roof and seem to be immune to Claritin.

So yea.. I’d say mother nature is pissed… and she’s taking things into her own hands this time.