Five Fingers are Better Than Four

I know I keep harping on this fireworks thing.  I know I described my feelings on fireworks before.  But, let me be clear: I have no real issue with firecrackers or bottle rockets.  As a kid it was part of your initiation with the neighborhood kids. Those are pretty awesome when you’re eight*. 

I can live with out the large firework displays that require 14 people to light them off.  Maybe it’s because I’m not actually lighting them off?  Maybe that’s why I prefer your run of the mill ladyfingers to the mortar shells you see from outer space.  (Did we just have a therapy-breakthrough?). Interesting!

Anyway… Tonight’s post has seemed to get away from me… Point was going to be that the fireworks were more about sitting around with family.  Not having to do anything but relax and enjoy each other’s company!


*PS: you would think that if an eight year old has the sense to be careful around fireworks than a grown man (who makes enough money to pay 500 people to light off fireworks for him) would have enough sense to not blow off their own hand lighting fireworks off. 

Way to go JPP



Another year, another 4th of July come and gone.  Anytime I get to spend a long weekend with the family is a weekend well spent.  Anytime I get to spend a long weekend with the family and get to eat food that I didn’t have to prepare and enjoy other people’s backyards that I didn’t have to set up or clean afterwards is a weekend worth its weight in gold.

Thanks to Betty and Tony for having us on Saturday!

Those of you who know me, know I am a Revolutionary War Era nut.  I love the holiday… but mostly for its history and less for the stupid traidtions of fireworks and hotdogs.   

In my opinion fireworks are the most OVERRATED holiday tradition.  Nothing is more overrated Every SINGLE year I all I hear about is where the best fireworks are, when are they going off in certain towns so that everyone can coordinate firework watching parties.  Everyone just sits around and watches them like its some amazing feat… something they’ve never seen before… and then its over and your left wondering, “is that it?”  OVER-RATED.  I can see if you were a colonist sitting on a hill watching fireworks to celebrate the surrender of General Corwallis… then maybe I’d enjoy them… but now… in 2015… I’ll pass!


I will give in and admit that the Bomb Pop is what the 4th of July is really all about (food, beer and bomb pops)… I’ve recently noticed that there are at least five or six new Bomb Pop flavors… but nothing can and nothing ever will top the RED, WHITE, and BLUE Bomb Pop… it is the OG of Bomb Pops


15 Things we did as Kids that were Really Dangerous: Article Review

Although this blog is mostly saved for documenting my life as a father and our family as we grow together… Every now and again I come across an article that lends itself to a discuss about raising children.

Recently I read an article that was titled: 15 Things We Did as Kids That were Really Dangerous.  I wasn’t totally surprised about what was on the list… I was assuming that there were going to be some no brainers on there like sitting in the back of the station wagon, or play with fireworks… but some of the things listed absolutely blew my mind… (thanks to for the entertaining read).

15 Things We Did as Kids That Were Really Dangerous

1.  Climbing Trees:  ”When you’re a kid, you think you’re invincible, leading to some pretty reckless behavior!”  Since when is climbing a tree reckless?  It’s a tree, you’re supposed to climb it… what else are you supposed to do with it?  When my brother was seven, he climbed a tree at our grandma’s house and fell out of it and broke his wrist.  Without this incident he would have never learned that he is supposed to hold on to something when he is at high altitudes… Valuable life lesson if you ask me.


2. Jump off the Swings:  “If you got a really good swing going, you could have jumped off at ten feet or higher! One wrong move and you could have easily hurt yourself.”   That is exactly the point… when you’re a kid there is no better way of proving you’re a badass like jumping off the swing further than everyone else.  At seven years old it’s pretty much the ultimate show off move in your bag of tricks. 


3. Trick of Treating: “The fact that we send kids out one night a year to strangers houses begging for candy is crazy if you think about it too hard.”  You know what, I don’t disagree with this one… I touched upon the craziness of this event in an earlier blog.


4. Playing with Sparklers: “Of course some kids are going to find away to play with actual fireworks, which is terrifying.”  Listen I’m not saying give your kid a stick of dynamite or some mortar shells… but sparkles?  Come on… They’re about as dangerous as a flashlight.


5. Seesaw: “Back in the day you had to rely on your partner to keep you safe, or not.”  Seesaws are death machines… an evil torture device created to wreak havoc on the playgrounds of our childhoods.  I hated when my “friend” would jump off and you would slam down from seven stories up.  The shock waves that were sent up your rear-end and back were devastating.


6. No Seatbelts:  “It wasn’t that long ago (the 80s) that kids weren’t required to wear seatbelts.”  Is this true?  If so… someone missed the boat on this one… not sure what kids didn’t get strapped in as a kid back in the ‘80s.  Click it or Ticket!


7. No Helmets:  “Kids never used to wear helmets to ride a bicycle. In fact, it would have been so embarrassing to do so, they probably would have rather died than be seen wearing a helmet.”  I definitely fell victim to this one… I hated wearing a helmet.  I have a little Beetle Juice head… so nothing ever fit me right… If I wore a helmet, I would have had to probably use a coffee mug, because everything else was too big.  I’ll pass.


8. Play Outside All Day: “Anything could have happened the second you left the door and no one would have known until you didn’t come home on time that night. It was crazy!”  Once my mom fed me breakfast, I was given a small amount of food and my sneakers and told not to come home until it was dark.  I’m pretty sure she locked the door and took the phones off the hook too.  That’s the way it should be… get outside, build a fort, play football in the street.


9. Sledding: “Of course sledding down a steep icy hill can result in some extreme speeds and watch out for the trees!” Sledding? Come on… really?!! No Comment


10. Staying Home Alone: “A generation or two ago, younger kids would often be left at home alone to fend for themselves while both parents worked.”  Give the kids a hamster wheel and a water dispenser and a cell phone and they’re ok.


11. Dangerous Toys: “Many even involved projectiles such as lawn darts, slingshots and of course BB guns.”  No guns in this house.  Just not a fan.


12.  Bunk Beds: “And it was also pretty easy to hit your head on the bottom of the top bunk. In fact, about 36,000 kids are injured on these beds every year.” Bunk beds are death traps!  They’re coffins for people who are still alive.  The above stat is probably just a third of the injuries that actually happen… because if it were me… no way would I actually admit that my kid was injured on a bunk bed.  “There’s so much room for activities!”


13. Piñata: “OK, whose brilliant idea was it to give an already over excited child a stick, blindfold him and tell him to whack at a piñata full of candy while surrounded by other kids just waiting to rush in and grab that candy.”  Until I read the description from this website I never knew how awesome piñatas really are.  Dangerous- NO… Awesome- YES!


14. Sliding Down the Stairs: “If you didn’t slide down the stairs in a laundry basket or cardboard box or at least down the bannister, you didn’t fully enjoy your childhood!”  Well when you put it that way… again another description that completely makes me wonder how anyone would find this activity dangerous.  I’m 35 years old and I still slide down railings!


15. Licking the Spoon:  “Little did we know that most of those doughs contained raw eggs that could very easily have exposed us to salmonella!”  I guess this is a good way to end… You know you want to lick the brownie batter… you know its bad for you… you know you shouldn’t… but you do it anyway.


Fireworks are Illegal

To who ever drove across country to illegally buy fireworks so they could shoot them off tonight: I HATE YOU, I HOPE ONE OF YOUR BOTTLE ROCKETS SHOOTS YOU IN THE BUTT. Jackson is now awake and screaming as if we were taking heavy artillery fire. We slept a total of two hours the past two night BC of the wedding and tonight needed to be night filled with lights out, uninterrupted, blacked out SLEEP. And now because we are experiencing Revolutionary War mortar shells explode in our front yard, that seems impossible.

Its 10:30 at night and its not the 4th of July, hell its not even JULY yet! I’m all about celebrating our dominance of the Brits… But why do people feel the need to do this from their houses this late at night? I’m going to record the screams coming out of this little body right now and play them on this guys answer machine every night until next May and see how much sleep he gets then. YEAH INDEPENDENCE!