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4.30.14 – First Night Home

Not a good night. Deciding that we were going to take turns getting up for diaper duty and/or general entertainment purposes sounded like a great idea at first. Make plans, break plans because it’s an all out sleep deprivation fest over here.

Maybe slept a total of 12 minutes.

By the way, little tip for when you grow up… when your wife leans over in bed and screams “Are you up!?” DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES respond with: “I am now!”

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4.30.14 – Meet Your Big Brothers

So now that the car seat ordeal is solved here you are meeting your 2 big brothers for the first time.

Meet Your Big Brothers

Questions I have after watching this video:
#1 does my voice really sound like that? There are 6 year old girls into school w deeper voices.
#2 Can you actually bite a “soft spot?”
#3 I wonder what would have happened if these dogs went all buck wild on the little man? That’s all I need, a DCF report less than a week into parent hood.

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4.30.14. – Instructions are Overrated

That was the longest 5 minute ride of my life!

Btwn mom and I we have 5 college degrees and collectively manage about 150 people. Yet, it took us 45 minutes to get the damn car seat out of the car!

One car seat 47 different movable parts, 18 buttons, 3 levers, 2 clips yet the one piece we need to pull up on to get you out is hidden under the actual seat and cover.

I think the only other time mom and I have yelled at each that much was when I accidentally backed up into Auntie Bnap’s Jeep. Which I still say is her fault for parking directly behind my car in the driveway. I mean use the damn street. It’s a Jeep not a Porsche!!!

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Coming Home

Coming Home Video

That’s it little man… You’ve been paroled!! You’re on your way home for the first time. And who better to sing your entrance song into the real world but one of the greatest singers of our generation. They say his voice is a combination of Fergie and Jesus. Take it away P.Diddy, Diddy, Diddy Dirty Money, Puffy… What ever you’ll always be Puff Daddy to me…

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Sleep Tally

Day 2: so apparently you’re ankle bracelet is more of a baby LoJack than house arrest monitor, so I don’t have to worry about you being sold to a sweat shop in china where you will have to work 12 hours a day sewing Nike Jordan Retros. Nursery it is for you tonight my friend.

Sleep Tally Total 4 hours

I’m not gonna lie I did consider the fact that if you worked in a Nike factory it might be easier to get my hands on those Jordan VI Retro Carmines.