by - 0 comments

Fireworks are Illegal

To who ever drove across country to illegally buy fireworks so they could shoot them off tonight: I HATE YOU, I HOPE ONE OF YOUR BOTTLE ROCKETS SHOOTS YOU IN THE BUTT. Jackson is now awake and screaming as if we were taking heavy artillery fire. We slept a total of two hours the past two night BC of the wedding and tonight needed to be night filled with lights out, uninterrupted, blacked out SLEEP. And now because we are experiencing Revolutionary War mortar shells explode in our front yard, that seems impossible.

Its 10:30 at night and its not the 4th of July, hell its not even JULY yet! I’m all about celebrating our dominance of the Brits… But why do people feel the need to do this from their houses this late at night? I’m going to record the screams coming out of this little body right now and play them on this guys answer machine every night until next May and see how much sleep he gets then. YEAH INDEPENDENCE!

by - 0 comments

Two Months

2months

Two months old? 2 months? How is that even possible? I can not even explain how much I enjoy being around this little guy. With summer here and my hours allowing for more time at home… I’m starting to see how much work it is to be a parent. But, its been worth every minute. Jackson’s personality is definitely starting to show and I feel like we’re beginning to figure out what his different moods are and what his different cries mean. 2 months of crying, popping, allergies and 2 months of crazy, insane love.

PS: He started formula this month BC of the allergies.
#1 – Allergy specialized formula is $$$$
#2 – Baby poop after formula is a different kind of poop. It has its own classification on the poop hierarchy.

by - 0 comments

Shopping Addiction

tumblr_n7r3v0vSN11talaxzo1_1280

Your mother is sick… She has a problem. Nothing could fix it… Nothing… Not even MORE COWBELL. There is still 90% of your wardrobe sitting in your crib. I love your mom, I love you, and of course I love looking phenomenal while dressing to the 9s… But this picture shows exactly where your college fund was spent.

by - 0 comments

Paint by Numbers

Conversation that took place last night…

-“Pete there’s paint everywhere in the kitchen!”

-“Pete you got paint on the dog?”

-“Pete… THERE IS FREAKING PAINT ON JACKSON !!! You got paint on MY SON!!!!”

——“Wasn’t me.”

He won’t tell. Not now… NOT NEVER! There’s a bond between a father and son that goes beyond that of a mother and son. Men are idiots, we know that from the second we are born. Therefor, we have an innate sense to protect each other. That gene kicks in and is in a heightened sense when it comes to the wife/mom. No way this kid rats on me! “Where’d the paint come from?” “What paint!??”

by - 0 comments

Baby Mozart

Freaking #Mozart over here. Just tickling the ivories w his feet. So talented he said screw using my hands. I’ll just whack these toys around that are hanging over me while I compose a symphony w my feet. Gotta multi task when you’re an infant. Lots to do… Lots to see, little time to do it all.

by - 0 comments

6.22.14. – Call in the Reinforcements

When all else fails, call over the neighbors to give your son a bath and pat his butt until he passes out.

Gotta love em… They come in with little fanfare and just get the job done. Then they’re out Seal Team 6 style. Suggestion for all you new and future parents who also have no idea what the hell you’re doing… Have these phone numbers on speed dial:

1. Pediatrics office (basically for us dads BC its highly unlikely we even know the name of the PEDs practice we use).
2. Trusted Adults: (To ask things like, can a 2 month old eat dry Cheerios? Or is it bad if I left him under the deck while I was painting and it dripped all over him?)
3. Your Parents: (Chances are they screwed up just as much as you do, but they just haven’t admitted it yet!)
4. Neighbors Who Will do Anything for you If you Give them a Glass of Wine: (Self Explanatory/ See Above).

by - 0 comments

6.20.14. – Swaddle King

 

tumblr_n7jvb3UjZN1talaxzo1_1280

So here we have the traditional swaddle. Looks beautiful… perfectly tucked, rolled and fitted. This little guy is nice and snug and ready for dreamland. My little burrito. So easy. OK OK, I can’t continue to live this lie… It’s a pre-swaddled Swaddle. It’s freaking Velcro! I’m.So.Ashamed.


At one point I had this swaddling thing down pat… People called me Abe Froman the Swaddle King from Chicago. I even won 1st place in the swaddle Olympics at baby class. All went down hill from there… I can’t even wrap him once around w/out something coming undone. Now I’m relegated to the minor leagues. Rookie…