When you’re sick… there’s no better place to fall asleep than on mommy

15 different outfits, 175 diapers, 37 wash clothes, 4 packages of wipes, 3 bottles of Pedialyte, 4 different sets of crib sheets, 16 loads of laundry and a partridge in a pear tree.  This weekend was a nightmare.  It was the parents worst nightmare when it comes to the being sick nightmare… the one where everyone in the house is emitting some sort of fluid from all parts of the body… front and back.

Baby sick… not good… Stress Level: High

Baby and Dad sick… Stress Level: Panic

Baby, Dad and Mom sick… Stress Level: DEFCON 1

I hate being sick… I hate puking more than anything else in the world.  I would rather have my fingernails pulled off by a pair of pliers than puke.  Add to that, that Stephanie was sick and you have a household in trouble.  Factor in that Jax has been blowing through diapers faster than Bernie Madoff blows through peoples money and you have a major problem.

The feeling of helplessness when your little guy is sick sucks.  I know I’ve discussed this on my blog before… but when you physically can not get out of bed yourself, it makes for a compounded issue.  (Are you starting to see the theme here?  This weekend’s sickness was stress on top of other normal stress on top of stressful stress.)

Thank goodness for parents… If it wasn’t for Mima and Grandpa Pete coming to the rescue on Sunday and taking Jax for the day, Buster and Max might have been left as Head of Household… and thank goodness for Grammy coming up and literally Lysol the entire house as well.

I can not remember laying in bed and sleeping longer than I did this weekend in my entire life.  For two days I digested approximately three ounces of chicken broth, four teaspoons of rice and maybe two bites of saltines. So much for all that weight lifting to get ready for bikini season, huh?!  I feel awful for the little guy… he couldn’t keep anything down.  But the pediatricians says: “Don’t worry… you just have to ride it out!”

Ohh that’s it?  Ok no problem… BLOG OVER

Here is a look at about three hours of outfit changes

  Doesn’t matter if you’re a Republican, Democrat or Independant… Whenever you get mail from the White House it’s pretty cool.   



Kid’s a genius… R-Controlled vowels aren’t usually mastered until at least 5 years old. 

• For decades, fans have been entering in office pools and private tournament contests for bragging rights, big screen TVs, or even better… money!  The first two days of the tournament result in hundred’s of thousands of sick days at work. The filling out of a tournament bracket has been referred to as a “national pastime.” Filling out a tournament bracket with predictions is basically done by anyone and everyone who can write.  We all know people who have some crazy way of picking their teams… pick all the top seeds, flip a coin, have a child pick, use your pet to pick, pick the team with the colors you like… etc, etc, etc.Well, here at Chronicles of a New Dad we have created the Tournament of Worst Baby Related Moments:  Below are the brackets with the accompanying scores.Round One (Smelly Sixteen) Highlights:

  Not much to get too excited about here… not many upsets… no real Cinderella teams moving on.  #1 Seed “Getting Pooped On” (everyone’s favorite #BabyFail) is a tournament giant.  There is not much worse than being sprayed by baby food crap!  A tournament seeding snub, “Teething” who many felt would be a much higher seed was ousted by underrated “Forgetting the Diaper Bag at Home”.  The game was close through much of the second half, but Forgetting the Diaper Bag was just too much down the stretch.  Forgetting the Diaper bag leaves everyone’s brackets in a shamble, especially the ones who thought the constant crying, fussing and high fevers of Teething would pull a quasi-upset here.

  Round Two (Eclat Eight) Highlights:

  Screaming Baby in Traffic continued its trampling of the field by ousting crowd favorite croup and its loud fans and Barking Seal mascot.  Tourney Cinderella Dog Eating Poo Diaper continued its march to the finals by pooping out the forgotten Diaper Bag.  In a huge upset the #1 Seed in the tourney was dismissed by the #9 Seed Restless Plane ride after a bumpy and fussy ride!

  Round Three (Farty Four) Highlights:

  How could you forget to pick or strap in the baby in the car seat?  A fall from that high could be catastrophic!

  Round Four (The Ultimate Baby Fail):

  You’re 30  minutes away, its been an incredibly long day, you need to get home, you need to BE home… and all you can see for miles are break lights.  There is nothing that can wear on the nerves more than traffic… unless your in traffic and the baby is in the back seat screaming.  Where can you pull over, what can you do, how do you make this stop… it doesn’t… it never stops… this is your hell… your head is splitting, your shoulders tense… nothing can stop this “game-ender”.  If you had a spoon you’d gouge your eyes out.   …and there you have it… the Tourney Winner… they Worst Moment in Baby Bracket History:

2015 National Champion:

Stuck in Traffic with a Screaming Baby

This blog entry has been featured on Honustmum.com as a Brilliant Blog Post.

Happy Birthday Jax

Things I learned today at a Christening that you never thought you’d learn at a Christening…

Portuguese clubs have amazing food.

Faux-hawks look great on a ten month old… not so much on a 35 year old father.

There is a woman who refers to her type as “Alive.”

Strollers should have breathalyzers attached to them.

Jax is getting four potatoes from Stop and Shop with some googly-eyes stuck on them for his birthday.

The person giving us the dirty look from across the room has no idea how quickly two parents with no sleep can strike.

Jax thinks Savannah is tiny and cute!

So with all the kids around it seems that the majority of them are girls.  Which will be great for Jax in a few years… But for right now there aren’t a lot if boys for the little guy to pal around with (mind you he’s ten months old and he wouldn’t know the difference if he was paling around with a girl, a boy or a squirrel.

With all that in mind it was great to see Jax and Brady get along so well yesterday.  I’m sure it was also nice for mommy to get some mama time with her mama!

Hey mommy… Dada wins!