Author Archives: Peter

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You’re Sure There Were Ten Fingers When You Left?!??

In not sure I’m improving at this parenting thing. Aren’t you supposed to get better as time goes on? “Practice makes perfect” right?

Well I’m either getting worse or I’m just not trying hard enough, because being home alone w this little walking tornado is completely different when It’s just us.
Basically I just sit quietly and listen for sh*t.  “Ohh no… what’s that? Jackson your not in the toilet again are you?!!??” 

Perfect example: this morning I’m in the bathroom… uhhh…. reading a magazine and I hear silence. Nothing at all… No toys buzzing or singing, no blocks being thrown across the floor. I couldn’t even imagine where he was or what he was doing. Fear spread over me like a dense fog. I walked out to see he had climbed up on the top of couch and was trying to reach the light switch.  (Needless to say he was ok.)
But in all reality… all I need to do when I’m home alone with Kackson is return him to Steph in the same condition as when she left. “So are you sure he definitely had ten fingers when you left??” Everyday is a challenge. 

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#BackToHogwarts

 

Still waiting for some advice from JKRowling

 
September 1 is always such a cool time of year.  Fall is creeping in, Octoberfest hits the shelves, but most importantly it’s the day we get to head back to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  

It’s crazy how all these years later, a simple date can still bring up so many great memories. From watching the first movie in the CCSU auditorium, reading the HPOoP in a weekend, getting engaged and then running to the midnight release of HPHBP in Wildwood, MuggleCast and MuggleNet theories getting me through endless yard word, reading 18 straight hours of HPDH all the way to visiting the Wizarding World and dressing Jax up as Harry Potter.  

I can’t wait to read the series and experience the magic (no pun intended) all over again with Jax.     

   
 

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#DoTheDadDance

So everyone one who knows me (or has read this blog) knows I have no trouble making a fool of myself. I’m pretty good at it (except on the dance floor… that, that I take as serious as a heart attack).  So when the #DoTheDadDance movement started I figured I better start working on something other wise I’d wind up looking like that New Year’s Eve video where I went all Ham on Maniac from Flash Dance**.

For those of you who haven’t heard of the Do the Dad Dance campaign before, Al from The Dad Network  started this movement to help raise money for Unicef (great cause and I’ve donated). I haven’t nominated anyone per say, but if you’ve read this consider it your nomination.

The rules are simple,

1. Dads, film yourself dancing to your favorite song, with or without the children.

2. Upload it to social media using the hashtag #DOTHEDADDANCE and then tag / nominate some of your dad friends to do the same.

3. Donate to UNICEF by visiting http://www.justgiving.com/dothedaddance

Unfortunately… Practice doesn’t make perfect in this dad’s case, and since its for charity to support children in need I figured I’d let my little man take the lead and if just follow him into the Dancing Hall of Fame.  All he needed was a little Huey Lewis and the News and the moves started flowing.  Worked out pretty well if you ask me…

“The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) is a United Nations Program headquartered in New York City that provides long-term humanitarian and developmental assistance to children and mothers in developing countries. It is one of the members of the United Nations Development Group and its Executive Committee.”

**FYI: Imagine me in a white v-neck and short running shorts and this video would be an exact replica of my New Year’s Video. 

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A Principal, a Fireman and the Parenting Competition

Let me set the stage for the weekend:

11873413_1463770193949230_8997507016139013145_nTen adults… Eight children… Three days.

 

The odds were stacked against us from the beginning. We were the underdogs… the Rocky Balboa, The 1980 USA Olympic Hockey Team.  We were not in charge, we were not even allowed to participate indecision making… but in the end… the dads won this weekend (just don’t tell any of the wives I said that!).

Weekends were made for this. The reason someone invented airplanes was for exactly this reason.  For mamas to reunite… for best friends to reminisce and laugh and cry… for guys to get an hour or two to golf…but most importantly for us dads to prove to the wives that these dads are top notch parents.

That’s how we went into this battle. Two sets of parents vying for parenting supremacy.  Two sets of friends… Two sets of souls mates vying for validation… Validation that their way of doing things is just as good or better then the others’.  Competition brings out the best in everyone…and sometimes the worst.  But it was this competition that would bring two sets of friends… parents… Together as one.

It all started with a golf game. A golf game that would include a peace of mind, a quiet solitude from baby food, diapers and wives.  A golf game that would include amazing shots, miracle putts and poison ivy… Friendship, comradery and just the simply pleasures that a freshly cut fairway can afford three fathers.

It ended with a trip to some girly place where mamas can go and chat about US magazine stories, the Kardashians and their idiot husbands.  A place where wives go to get away from the everyday hectic household nonsense.

In between that battle of the sexes consisted of some interesting events. Some favored the mommas some favorited the dads.

Highlights include:

One of the worst photos failures since the inception of the camera.

 Children taking over the house, the Oasis, the pool and the kitchen.

 
There was that incredible day… that dad day that will forever live in the history books.  The day where two dads accomplished things that any parent, including any of our Four Fathers (Danny Tanner, Carl Winslow, Tim Taylor and Philip Banks) would be impressed with.

The trip to the park which included a pretty heated argument with Big Pun and a splash pad was a hit!

There was the daring attempt at something no one has ever tried before… They said it couldn’t be done… The #TripleNap, the worlds most daring parenting move. Well guess what… Done. Beers were opened, mock drafts were drafted.

Yet, that is where our story of competitive parents attempting to outdo each other… For a new obstacle appeared in the horizon… an enemy so evil, so vicious that it would take he power of eight grown men and women to not only fend it off, but to defeat it and come out alive… Mystic Seaport and Aquarium.

Eight adults… Seven children… One small space and 100° of sweltering heat. We fought off all comers, anyone in our way was toast… Children running amuck through the rooms, stampeding their way from fresh water turtles to jellyfish. I was expecting to see one of our little ones turn up inside one of the tanks with the sharks (100% would have been Cameron and he definitely would have punched it in the face). 

 Things quickly got hairy kids and tantrums ensued. Screams and stares filled the aquarium. I dont know how this works yet because Jax isn’t at the stage yet where everything ends in fit . I’m sure when this begins I’ll want to just grab him and run him the hell outta the place. Be polite and respectful to the other people in the situation. That’s what we did. We gathered up our young-ins and made a mad dash for the cars.

On the ride home though I got to wondering about the procedures parents need to follow when their kid’s are throwing a fit. I’d like to think I would handle the situation as perfectly as Trevor Washington did (calmly walking out). But at what point do you just give up thinking about everyone else and say “Screw this, If I’m going to be miserable so is everyone else,” and just ignore the screams and stares and go on enjoying your day? You can’t fight the inevitable, right? As a wise man once said “Trying to keep a child contained is like trying to hold liquid jello in your hands. It’s impossible.” I mean in reality when will I ever see any of these people again. If their ears start bleeding too bad… Shouldn’t have come to a place that is frequented by parents and children. Who knows… But I’m sure we’ll find out soon. 

I’m left with those thoughts as well as the memories of an exhausting, but well worth it weekend. Seeing Jax enjoy the company of other children, especially those of such close friends and family is a joy in itself.

Until next time,

The Principal and The Fireman
PS: the dads tossed a shut out. We complete won this competition. We dadded the crap outta those kids!

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Son of Poseidon 🌊

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Photo Shoot #6738

Location: Crowded beach
Subject: Cranky 15 month old

Distrations: WT Wedding featuring women in wedding dress and cowboy boots, groom in plaid cargo shorts, NOFEAR t-shirt drinking BudLights.

So clearly the best parentinfg idea of the year is to bring a child who clearly hates the beach back to the beach for a photograph session.  We’ve done some less than intelligent things before as parents and we definetlely don’t stack up with the best “plan ahead” parents out there, but this might be the the one decision that sets us apart.

i just don’t know why he doesn’t like the water at the beach.  Loves the pool, loves the bath, hates everything else.  Maybe it’s the sand?  Maybe it’s the waves?  Maybe it’s just the 30 tons of litter that wash up on every damn beach now-a-days. I guess I’m not a huge fan of swimming with empty beer bottles, spare tires and someone’s steroid needle. (Luckily Hammonasset is a pretty clean beach).

Thank the lord for Pink Elephany Photography!  Staci is the most patient human in the world, and im not talking about being patient with a 15 month old… I’m taking about being patient with a 36 year old idiot father!

Jax was awesome! He loved the shells, and actual sat still and smiled for all his pictures… until this guy decided to pick Jax up by one leg and dangle him upside down for that all important “clowning around” shot. Well apparently children don’t like being dangled upside down over the open sea. Who woulda thought? Sorry dude.

So we luckily took some decent pictures before all the blood rushes to his head… Or before the wedding a few feet down from us shot off fireworks to celebrate their matrimony. Overall I think they came out pretty good. PINK ELEPHANT PHOTOGRAPHY always does a great job. Let me know if you want their contact info.

Here’s a few of the pictures. I’ll post the rest when we get them!!!

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My Little Pachycephalosaurs

 

Pachycephalosaurs (Greek for “thick-headed lizards”)

 
It was inevitable. Considering he is basically running around with no regard for life or limb with little to no coordination and an attraction to grabbing and pulling over anything he can get his hands on, you knew something like this was bound to happen. 

The first big one… The first real injury… The first injury that left a clearly visible mark… The first but definitely not the last the way this kid is moving around.  

Got a call from Grammy today that the little guy pulled down a chair on himself.  I think Grammy was more hurt than he was since he just went back to playing after a few seconds of trying to figure out what happened to him. 

They say scars can come in handy one day… Dumbledore’s was a map of the London Underground, Harry Potter’s sensed when Voldemort was near and while Jackson’s injury isn’t quite a scar, it does make him look like a dinosaur… And I can’t see why that wouldn’t come in handy one day!

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Stroller Fail

Ten minutes in the parking lot pushing every button, latch and movable part to fold up the stroller with no luck will have you driving home from the grocery store like:


Update… See Below

2.5 hours later, we are home and we have effectively gotten the situation under control.  Stroller is folded up and thrown in a dumpster stored away. 

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That’s Newport Livin’

The following events transpired over three days: August 3rd-5th… 

I need a vacation from our vacation. Don’t get me wrong getting away from the office and yard work even for a few days is great and all… It just might be more tiring than sitting in the office and doing yard work! (This was Jackson’s first time away since he started walking.)
Maybe we’re just the worst vacation parents ever, but bringing a one yet old to the beach is a nightmare. Honestly I don’t even feel bad for us, although my one beach day this year consisted of screaming at a tent that seemingly would give Bear Grylls fits and wiping sand out of every crevasse on this poor kids body). Those things I can deal with, a few deep breathes and a few IPAs make things a bit easier.

The kid hung tough though. He was a trooper… He definitely enjoyed the $17 chicken fingers and $9 water. He did not enjoy walking on sand that was hotter than walking on the surface of the sun. We made it through about two seagull attacks before calling it quits. I don’t think had ever been more excited to see his car seat.

I think we realized how really lucky we’ve been over the past 15 months (obviously because we have a healthy, happy baby) also because he’s been on a regular schedule and has been a great sleeper. We learned how a major change in schedule and being away from his own room and crib can effect a one year old… Because this kid literally went two days without sleeping!
That first night was something out of a Wes Craven movie. The screams muted the sounds of the ocean and tears washed away any hopes we had of getting any sleep. I think we handled it well and finally gave in about 2am, putting him in bed between us.

Aside: putting a child in bed with you is worse than anything I’ve heard… Not because “they get used to it and then become reliant on having parents in bed with him,” but because being in bed with parents = Amusement Park. I can’t believe how much energy a child can have at 2am. Where he called the power to complete hundreds of barrel rolls is beyond me. I think we fell asleep at 4:30- Steph on the bottom of the bed and me diagonally with my legs hanging off. 

You would think the next day he would be miserable right? Nope… Ball of energy… We walked the perimeter of the hotel what seemed like 12 times and he spent the rest of the morning and afternoon in the pool. Great thing about a baby with no sleep + sun + three hours of swimming = NAP.
THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION TAKES PLACE IN REAL TIME:

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He woke up at like 1:45 and started bugging out. So I picked him up and he passed out in the bed on me. I couldn’t move. I tried everything to get out. I considered gnawing my own arm off… But in the end I was finally able to wiggle free and at least move freely in my own room while the little man finally caught some Zzzzzs.

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He met his first vacation girlfriend… Monica… although it was tough he had to end it before we left… Long distance relationships are just to tough when you can’t even ride a tricycle to see each other!

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Overall, three days was just the right amount of time to get away.  Until next time, That’s Newport Living!