Revenge

Dear Baby Ollie,

By the time you read this I assume (insert sarcastic comment here) that you and Jackson will be best of friends. Therefore, don’t be angry with him when you find out that he tried to shove his finger down your throat and then tried to smother you with your taggie this afternoon. 

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UPDATE:  You just literally peed all over him in the tub… revenge is a dish best served “body temperature” warm. 

Oliver Potter and the Staci Miller Newborn Photos

I’m not sure if i have a writing style… if you had to narrow it down I know a few people might say my style is “grammatically horrible,” or “not really funny”… something like that. First Person Narrative… I guess that’s the closest you can get to narrowing down the writing. I mean the blog is titled Chronicles of a New Dad… I’d like to think I’ve Chronicled my perspective on having kids in a unique way.

But, today… I’ve decide to change it up a bit… I needed to tell someone thanks. Thanks for quite a bit actually. So I’m changing things up a little bit and am going writing letter style.

Dear Staci Miller (Photography),

It’s been almost three years since you came into our life… expensive Nikon camera, gorgeous props and the patience of a saint. Yes, early on in our relationship you had a different name… Pink Elephant… different but still amazing. And that’s just it… i needed to thank you for bringing amazing to life.

Not many people can take the thoughts that swim around in this weird brain of mine… take those abstract ideas and make them concrete. You’ve successfully, in essence, painting the pictures of my mind and put them on canvas. You’re an artist with a flash and lost of fluorescent lighting.

The thing is, that’s not even what makes these pictures a masterpiece. It’s the fact that you have to deal with me… a hyper… anxiety riddled parent who is obsessed with details. I’m the Jack Nicholson (As Good As It Gets Nicholson) of parenting during new born photos. OCD to the max.

You’ve taken photos of a wizards hat and wand… you successfully posed an infant on a giant piece of cheese and most impressive of all captured numerous shots while getting peed on. It’s impressive to say the least.

There was the time at the barn where Jackson got bit by a rooster, the time where we got you caught up in a beach wedding with Miller Highlife cans in the background, the session where I made you take pictures of my sons butt and the time my pants were too tight to help hold Oliver’s head up. I admit to ruining quite the few “perfect shots.”

You took pictures while my son puked on your floor, peed on your brand new background and shattered glass Christmas ornaments (ok the ornaments were my fault… and I may have eaten a few cheese sticks out of your fridge, but you catch my drift… we’re not easy subjects to photograph.

But that all pales in comparison to the latest sitcom-like experience. You know the one where I made you snap photos of my son inside a flower pot while he was screaming (purposefully making him cry, because that’s what Mandrakes do in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets… (which by the way is my least favorite book and movie).

You did it all with a smile on your face and 85mm – 135mm lens in your hand (is that a real thing I know nothing about cameras?). You always welcomed us in your home, or your studio or some random farm, which if I were you I’d suggest every time since then Jackson can’t eat all your cookies and string cheese.

And for some reason you keep having us back and the pictures get better each time we do. For that… I thank you… from the bottom of my Harry Potter loving heart.


And then the unprofessional, I should have been helping instead of sneaking pictures w my iPhone, pictures:

 

Here is the link to Jackson’s newborn photos: https://chroniclesofanewdad.com/2014/05/10/5-10-14-newborn-photos/

The Eye of the Tiger

I’m so tired of everyone telling me how bad things are going to get.  

  • “Just wait…” 
  • “For now it’s easy, but not for long.”
  • “Enjoy it while you can, because it’s going to be a nightmare.”

Yea I get it. The second kid is harder. I mean listen I have a few college degrees… two is more than one. I understand the mathematics behind having a second child. But listen, I got this. I think we did a pretty damn good job with the first one. Can he be a pain in the butthole sometimes, of course… does he annoy me when he asks for the lights on, and then off, and then on, and then off… yeah… a little annoying I admit it. But listen he’s not even three yet. I’m ok with that. 

I’m sure things aren’t going to be easy forever. I’m sure I’ll look back at this blog and curse myself. But for now… things are running like a well oiled machine… I got this… every morning I wake up… stare these two kids right in there beady little eyes and quite the prophet Rocky Balboa: “You ain’t so bad, you ain’t so bad, you ain’t nothin’… I ain’t even breathin’ heavy.”

What my mornings look like these days.. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I7krz_Krn4k

Mr O. Peter; Nursery up the Stairs

I may not be a child anymore, but I am willing to cut one off to get a better spot in line for a midnight release of one of the books or a prime seat at the midnight showing of “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” when it’s released.

As discussed numerous times my love for Potter started when I was in college . Bored on a summer day i finally decided to give the first book it’s due-diligence… and the rest is history. As the years passed and new potter books were published and new potter movies were released I would re-read the old books. I would wait in line at midnight at bookstares and head out, coffee in hand, for movie premieres. 

It’s no surprise that, to this day, I still check my mailbox hoping that my Hogwarts letter will be there… stuck between my mortgage bill, sports illustrated and the numerous credit card applications.

Luckily, for the second person in this house… their Hogwarts letter arrived. His Hogwarts Express ticket is in hand and he’s ready to board that steam-train and become a famous quidditch player… I guess I’ll have to live vicariously through him.

…that is… until my Hogwarts acceptance letter arrives too. 


Jax got his letter years ago as well… https://chroniclesofanewdad.com/2014/06/23/6-23-14-mr-j-carmine-nursery-up-the-stairs/

New/Old Experiences

Rereading your favorite book is extremely rewarding. I believe that the experience of rereading the books that I’ve loved the most have taught me a lot about how I used to think about the world and allowed me to reflect on just how much I’ve changed over time

I’m beginning to wonder if this blog will afford me the same opportunity because there will definitely be very similar experiences and posts throughout raising my sons. Some situations I’ll experience just with Oliver and many, I’m sure, I’ll experience with Oliver while reexamining the same experience over time with Jackson. 

I’m sure thing blog will make sense more to those who have two-plus children… and especially to those who have consistently read my blog. I’m sure some things I’ll say or do will be similar to things you’ve read in the past… but how I experience them… with a new son, and with my first son… now will be vastly different from the first time… and I look forward to each new experience just as I did the first.  

Hungry Are We?!???

This kid (Jackson) ate like a beast today! 

Breakfast:

  1. Handful of Frozen Graham Chrackers
  2. Six eggs
  3. Two cups of milk
  4. Yogurt cup
  5. Applesauce

Lunch:

  1. Two cheese sticks
  2. Two slices pizza
  3. Applesauce
  4. Yogurt
  5. Juice box
  6. Half a banana with peanut butter

Dinner:

  1. Slice of pizza
  2. Yogurt (GoGurt)
  3. Water
  4. Cup of blueberries 

Growing boy?  I’d say so!

Another (New) Best Friend

I feel like at this point Buster is the grisly veteran of the team… he’s been around forever you almost forget how long it’s been. He’s was the only child for a while and now has sat patiently through three new roommates… Max… Jackson… and now Oliver. 

The thing is he’s still going strong. Sure he’s on human adult doses of numerous medications… but he’s still the same spunky, eat everything he can get his face in, including dirty diapers.  But best of all, he’s found another best friend to watch over! 

History Forgotten

It took ten days for me to remember how quickly little boys can pee while you’re changing them. 

This one is 100% my fault…  I should have known better. It was just an all-around bad performance by this dad. 

Today’s Stats:

Oliver: 2 – Dad: 1

You Win Some… You Lose Some

First time I think I’m writing about JUST Oliver on this Blog… Jax is at school and I’m home alone with a week old child. Honestly… I forgot how easy being a dad was.
This is a piece of cake.  Milk, Burp, Change Diaper… SLEEP.  That’s it right?  I put him in this swing and let the rocking motion and soothing running water sounds work their magic. I got this. 
You win some and you lose some… I’m chalking this one up to a win…

Ohhh crap… he’s crying… GOTTA GO!!!

Oliver: 1 – Dad: 0

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UPDATE:  Oliver: 1 – Dad: 1