Why My Kid Won’t Share

I’ve done it 10,000 times, I’ve seen parents do it 10,000 times. We teach it at school. They teach it on Sprout and Nick Jr. They model it on every children’s show on TV. The question is why?

Sharing is probably the most overused directive given by parents (besides DONT TOUCH THAT). You see, sharing is not necessarily caring. Why is it necessary for my child to give up something he is playing with just because some other child comes along and wants what he has. That does not happen in real life. I can’t walk down the road and tell a stranger that I want their coffee because I do t have any.

We need to teach children about patience and that the word no is not the end of the world. We are creating a civilization of massive cry babies who if they don’t get their way… well, they cry. Children need to understand that sharing doesn’t mean they have to give up something just because someone else wants it. It’s ok to for my son to tell another child that he’ll give up the Legos when he’s done playing with them.

I want my son to grow up knowing that he can say no to people (in a respectful way) and that is ok. Though I also want him to be able to identify the times where sharing or inviting others to play with him is ok as well. Children need to advocate for themselves. We need to teach and model for our children. But most of all we need to let them figure things out on their own and if jax doesn’t want to share his blocks then who am I to tell him he has to?!

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