Museums for Kids

Museums: The place where stuff goes… that would otherwise collect dust… so that people can take pictures. Exciting for the history buff like me… Not so much for a barely pushing two year old… The pristine all too large for the three 17th century vases that are being displayed reverberate with the soft, dead sounds of tourists shuffling and employees yawning.

If it were just me, I’d read the placards and maybe Google some random information that I could pass off as my own to my son so he’d think I was smart. But it’s not just me… There’s a tiny hurricane tagging along with me ready to unleash gale force winds on unsuspecting rare and priceless artifacts. 
That being said… Thank the good lord for inventing “Children’s Museums.” Basically an indoor playground with some historical facts posted around random stayed or painting. I’ve learned that you can take any word and put “Children” in front of it and basically means there will be hundreds of desperate parents looking to tire out there little ones. Today we were no different. 
With a day off approaching, and sub-zero temperatures making it impossible to even attempt any type of outdoor activities…  

Jax and i attempting to get the mail this morning

…the need for something to keep this minus tire Tasmanian devil active so we could get a quiet few hours of nap time was essential. 

Therefore it was time to que up the free Lutz Children’s Museum tickets we reviewed as a gift for XMAS. Perfect place for a toddler to spend a quiet morning right? A museum? Enter the Children’s Museum. God’s gift to parents… A place that encourages running, climbing, jumping and screeching (and not just from the barn owl on display in the nature section). All in the name of learning. 

He learned sure learned a lot: what a typical town looked like when Teddy Roosevelt was president, what crops were farmed in Connecticut during the late 1700s, why the invention of train was so vital to the development of the United States and also what a rooster looks like
 Us parents? We learned a lot too: how many times you can walk up and down the same flight of stairs before wondering why you didn’t bring your own baby gate, how much pressure the glass separating you from the giant boa constrictor can actual take before shattering… Lead you to realize that the sign that says DO NOT BANG ON GLASS is actually something the museum means, how funny it watching your kid “milk” a cow…

… and lastly and probably most importantly we learned taking your child to a Children’s Museum results in one exhausted kid!    

  Parents 1 – Jackson 7,376

Stages of a Snow Day for a New Parent

Stage 1: Denial

If you are a teacher, principal or anything relating to school, when you hear the forecast predict snow you immediately turn in to an eight year old!  Cautious pessimism exudes from your body!  You’re eyes are literally pasted to the TV… you flip from channel  61 to 3 to 4 to see if all the meteorologists are saying the same thing!  However, you know that there’s no way you’ll have off… maybe a delay you try to convince yourself… if you’re lucky.  You begin your snow dance superstition routine.  I have teacher friends who flush ice cubes down the toilet, put a white crayon in the freezer and wear their PJs inside out and backwards.  But in the back of your head, you know you’ll be up early writing lesson plans.

Stage 2: Excitement

Snow cancelations begin to show up on the news.  The first few flakes start to fall… It’s going to happen.  The first few moments are amazing; your mind is going 1000 miles per hour as you begin to think about all the great things you can get done around the house and how amazing it will be to spend the whole day with your nine month old son!  Wife and husband are high fiving each other with excitement for the great day ahead!

Stage 3: The Calm Before the Storm (no pun intended)

The baby is quietly entertaining himself on his play mat with a few of his favorite QUIET toys.  The dogs are sitting nicely at his side keeping an eye on things.  Husband and wife are sitting next to each other drinking a cup of coffee and enjoying each other’s company. You’ve now watched seven episodes of Peppa Pig.  There is not a chance you are going to be able to get to everything you wanted to today because the little one is crazy fussy this AM, but that is OK… because you have the day off.  Take it slow today you tell yourself… you’ll still get a lot done.

Stage 4: Stress

Things are getting a bit hairy.  Mom and dad walk by each other and shoot dirty looks back and forth, baby is screaming and the dogs have pooped in the house numerous times because they refuse to go outside in the storm.  You are now inventing chores to do around the house and handing the baby off like a QB to a running back in half hour shifts.  There has to be some more toys that haven’t been opened and played with yet from Christmas.

Stage 5: Anger

Baby is teething… the crying, runny nose, rosy cheeks and constant sneezing are causing both parents to lose their mind!  Mom is sitting on the rocking chair rocking herself back and forth with her eye mask over her bloodshot eyes.  Dad is outside snow blowing the neighbors driveways in order to stay out of the house for a few minutes more.  The dogs are lost in the snow track that dad cleared in the front yard and there’s a chance they would rather build and live in an igloo out there than go back into the house of horrors!

Stage 6:  Acceptance

You’ve come to the realization that even though you love your family more than your life itself, that it is OK to take a break from them every once and a while.  The small things become big things when you are trapped in the house like in “The Day After Tomorrow.”  You are comfortable knowing that it’s been a long two weeks with multiple snow days.  Everyone takes a deep breath and begins to reassemble in the family room.

Stage 7: Relief

Everyone is back to normal… its bedtime.  Baby is feeling a bit better after his bath and mom and dad are no longer attempting to trip each other in the hallway.  The icicles have melted from the dogs beards and everyone is sitting down in the nursery listening to a story.  Hugs and kisses all around… that is until you hear it’s going to snow again on Thursday!

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