The Toy of Choice

  

Can someone explain to me why this child has thousands of dollars worth of toys?   
 
What was the point of everyone bringing these amazing gifts water tables and sandboxes and trains and wagons for his birthday. Does anyone really think he needs an original Radio Flyer? Or two kiddie laptops?
Every time somebody comes to visit their bringing this kid something new I’m surprised he doesn’t have a selfie stick yet. It’s not that we don’t appreciate the gifts for him and it’s not that he doesn’t like them for at least the first 15 seconds that they’re being opened… But realistically this kid is old school…

Doesn’t need any newfangled toys doesn’t need anything that lights up or uses batteries. There’s no reason for Fisher-Price or baby Einstein to even market anything for our son. He’s not high maintenance, you know?  

How do I know this… Because our house looks like a Toys-R-Us outlet store and all he wants to play with is a bunch of Tupperware.