Literally an hours worth of this. I guess two- years 11 months is the cut off for naps for this little guy.
Just a miserable way to start of a beautiful Saturday. This poor kid had no idea what he was about to go up against. He was just so cute walking through the parking lot, seeing the ambulances and giving high fives to police officers and security guards.
Needless to say he had no idea he was going to be encountering a needle wielding woman who only wanted him his blood. It’s tough watching your kid walk so innocently with a big smile knowing he’s about to get stabbed more times than an inmate in a prison fight. The worst part is trying to keep a calm demeanor, because toddlers are like fortune tellers or gypsies or something, one wrong look and they immediately sense imminent danger and their happy, go-lucky attitude turns into all out panic mode as they flee for the nearest exit.
Luckily we made it to the waiting room, but not with out the saddest looks from just about every human in the building as we walked down the hall. I’m not even quite sure who the looks were for… Might have been for me knowing what I’m about to endure as well. It was a short distance but the walk felt like a epic journey down that white hallway which was lit by buzzing UV lights.
We got the waiting room and he immediately made himself at home, pulling out an US Weekly and leafing through the pages. (On a side note why are all hospital magazines decades old? Is it necessary on a day like today for my son to have to read about Jennifer Anisten and Brad Pitt filing for divorce? I mean get something from this decade at least!)
The moment of truth arrived soon after Jax read about the falling of the Berlin Wall. As we were called in to a small room with two chairs, one which looked appropriately like an “electric chair” Jax began to understand why we were there. Sadly for him it was too late to run. I sat in the electric chair and was instructed to “hold him tight and not to let him move…” I laughed sarcastically and wondered if they understood holding a two year old down is like trying to catch water with a strainer. Luckily my PMT training came in handy as the basket hold at least kept him at bay until the needle began to jab him. I literally watched in horror as they jabbed the needle, what seemed like 19 different times, in various directions and still did not find a vein. I felt as if I were watching a live episode of Game of Thrones.
After what seemed like hours of trying and more needle jabs than Barry Bonds in his prime, poor Jax was covered in tears and snot. No SpiderMan bandaid was going to solve this problem and, “no nurse he doesn’t want your Lighteming McQueen sticker.” What he wants is to get the hell out of here and never come back.
I’m such a terrible human being.. I just ate the crumbs from dinner off my son’s lap. #MeatLoaf #Starving #Shame🔔 #ToasterLeavins
What kind of father sets their kid up on blind dates at a year old? Are arranged marriages even still a part of today’s day to day society? If so… then PHEW!
We don’t live in Westeros and the closest thing to an Iron Throne that I sit on is in my bathroom… But lately I feel like everyone is trying to call dibs on Jackson for their duaghters!
Since the day Jax was born I feel like all he does is become friends with as many little ladies as possible. Just look at the list, 90% of our friends had daughters.
Jax got a chance to meet another future wife option last night. Luna tr little nugget was born last month to great friends Jay and Brea. The introduction was typical of a first date and women in general… Luna wasn’t ready (relax I’m kidding… Sort of!). As a matter of fact she was still sleeping!
It’s always a lot of fun attempting to get a six week old and one year old to play together. Jax was happy rolling around on the exercise ball while Luna napped. (We also found out Jax likes eating gloves!)
Who knows maybe years from now Luna and Jax will wind up ruling the Seven Kingdoms. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. (Although, if that does happen I call dibs on the Lannister fortune!)
“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny freaking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of A-holes this side of the nuthouse.”
Not a chance Christmas went bye without some incredible stories. Doesn’t matter if it was Jax’ first christmas or his 15th. Today was filled with love, laughter and lunacy. The amount of toys that santa brought for this little dude was insane. There is not a chance in hell that he could even comprehend the amount of STUFF that he unwrapped today. All I know, all we know, all he knows (I think he knows) is he is so lucky to have such an amazing cast of family members who treat him like he is king of the Seven Kingdoms. Santa spent a little extra time here last night and this morning dropping off some awesome toys.
There was the chair that looks like a toilet. (I need one of these for football Sundays).
Then there was the basket that was supposed to be for Auntie Tricia’s spa supplies.
The Wrapping paper gift was a favorite as well. It tasted yummy.
He also loved the Jackson sized replica of the Empire State building that he could climb and pretend to be King Kong on!
Then there was the incredibly inspiring story of Walter the Farting Dog who shares in Jax’ favorite past time… farting.
Jax was amazed by the generosity of everyone; Santa went above and beyond!!!!
Jax knows Christmas is about giving not just getting presents… he spent his allowance on his brothers XMAS gift.
… but most of all Jackson loved all the attention from the most important people in his life… his family.
Family traditions and family craziness aside… Stephanie and I want to take a second to thank everyone who has been there to support this journey of ours through parenthood. Most of all our parents and family and especially our friends who have answered our desperate phone calls at 2 and 3 AM when Jax was sniffling or had a fever. There really is a magic to the holiday season, it’s a magic that exists all year, one that is always there, but often is not tapped into. The magic of the people around you who care about you for who you are. The people who are there for you when you need a laugh or a cry… or you need a someone to change a dirty diaper. Those are the real reasons that the holiday exists.
Jackson, you are the greatest gift I have ever been given. I am proud to be your father… I am happy to be part of your life and most importantly… I love you more than any present, autograph, fitted suit jacket or skinny tie in the world!
PS: You know when your Christmas ends like this:
I just witnessed the greatest show of love and protection known to man! Jax was having a rough time so Auntie Sue and her troops came over to lend a hand. Upon entering the house they were greeted by Buster and Max. A few barks and some growling and they were done… Until they made their way to Jackson. Max literally positioned himself in between the baby and them. Every time they moved he moved, no growling. Just watching…staring… Judging. Once they showed they were there to help, Max went and laid down.
Beautiful show of affection and love from big brother Max. He’s grown into a fine young pup. Gone are the days he would run head first into the cabinets… This is the new Max. Where was Bister you ask? Setting a good example of how to look after his little brother, right? Try he was eating all the puke off the play mat and blanket.
1 Step forward, 2 steps back at the Fragola household.