“Dad we didn’t get the lunch ladies anything for Christmas and I know they need some of these for the cafeteria at school. Can I bring these in to give to them, please?”
(PS: Where did those even come from and why are they in my house?!??)
I win… I WIN!!! You know why? Because I’m the dad. I know this kid outsmarts me 99% of the time, but when it counts… I WIN. You see I’m the adult, the dad… I WIN. I know you’ll never remember this day. I know by the time you’ll read this, you will probably be one of her brightest, hardest working kids in your entire school. But I want you to know, at least on this night, I was smarter than you.
Tonight (honestly most nights), you decided you weren’t going to eat. Not lunch and not dinner. Chicken nuggets, string cheese, macaroni and cheese, apple sauce… nothing! Until… dad, your own dad, completely flipped the script on you. Hence the title of this blog, “I Win.”
Here’s now the game included: line up five chicken nuggets in front of you and five in front of me… and we have a race to see who can eat the most. Every time you thought I was eating one I just put it back in front of you. You literally fell for it every time.
You know what, you might be able to get me to read you a bunch of extra books every night before bed, or let you have ice cream before dinner, but tonight… and maybe only for one night… I WIN!!!
Yesterday was interesting. I’m not sure how to classify it. It was just interesting. We studied music with Brett Favre’s mistress and also leaned how to dance like Adam Sandler from Eight Crazy Nights.
Close you’re eyes for a second… Ok so now I’m going to give you something to picture… Early winter morning, ten families sitting in a carpeted room awaiting the music teacher to arrive. OK, did you picture a nice calm room of quiet families and an old gray haired teacher standing in front of a handful if shy little toddlers? Good… Because you wrong!
In strolls the Long Island Lolita (who upon noticing my GB Packers hoodie, says she slept with Brett Favre back in the day) and dumps every instrument you can imagine on the ground. And And of course we chose to sit next to
little Bono and a young Joan Jett. 
Kids are banging on drums, smacking their parents with tambourines, shaking maracas… It was like watching School of Rock.
Things settled down after we played a cute singing game with the scarves you learned how to juggle with in 3rd grade. We ended with a singing a few Christmas carols and Jax learning the Hava Nagila, and when it all was said and done… We signed up for nine more classes… and I’m actually looking forward to next week!
Sorry Son: Chronicles of a New Dad 