Family Traditions

Traditions and rituals are more than just repetition… they often tell a story. A family sets it’s foundation on traditions… from the small of a secret handshake with your son or the big of a thanksgiving feast with all your relatives. On the macro level, traditions can teach children where their family came from or give them insights into their cultural or religious history. On a more micro level, traditions can serve as reminders of events that have shaped your family or reminders of great friendships.

There is irrefutable research that shows families hat engage is “traditions” have a stronger connection with one another. Traditions can be particularly effective during times of change or grief. When we moved and he had to go to sleep in a new room, Jax knew every night we would read a few books and “count the stars on his ceiling” before I kissed him goodnight. It provided him with a sense of security in a new environment.

Jax and I have our secret handshake: (Shout out to Aaron Rodgers and Jordy Nelson who were the inspiration for this). But, Oliver and I were still searching for that father-son tradition.

That was until I realized we need search no more… we didn’t need to find one, because traditions aren’t just thought up one day. They are created authentically and often times are the moments that you don’t even think twice about. It was there right in front of our faces!

Every night before he goes down to sleep, Oliver climbs up on me and settles his head on my shoulder and says, well he doesn’t really say anything. He isn’t really talking much at this point. But, I know what he’s thinking… he’s thinking he really wants his dad to sing him to sleep… a lullaby, a beautiful, calming rendition of his favorite song… Hush, Little Baby.

This is our tradition. Jax never really took to my singing (probably because it sounds like multiple cats crying). However, Ollie… he loves snuggling with dad and listening to the smooth, sweet tones of his father’s voice whispering one of the most well-known lullabies as he drifts off into dream land.

The best part of this… I have no idea, literally none whatsoever, what the lyrics to this song really are. I’ve tried everything. I rhymed real words and made up words… I’ve tried looking up the lyrics, but I can’t remember them in the heat of the performance. I feel like I do when I’m in the car belting out Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing… apparently it’s not, “smelly wine and sheep perfume.” Then there’s anything by Notorious BIG (including the ever confusing), “Birthdays were the worst days/ Now we sip champagne every Thursday.” I know a few words and the rest are completely made up.

That brings us to the greatest tradition our family knows… dad and Oliver’s version of Hush, Little Baby:

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word, Daddy’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.

And if that mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.

And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Daddy’s gonna buy you an air freshener that smells like pine.

And if that air freshener doesn’t smell right, Daddy’s gonna buy you a dragon kite.

Different lyrics… same tradition… and it puts the kid to sleep… EVERY.DAMN.NIGHT.

Doesn’t matter where… when he hears Dad’s version of Hush, Little Baby.., he’s out cold

Oliver’s First Fourth Day of Daycare

Lately, Oliver has been floating all over the face of the earth. Just a Nomad living a nomad’s life.

Daycare to daycare.

Teacher to teacher.

Cot to cot.

… until today. Until the day he finally found a place to call home and a cot to call his own. (Don’t get me wrong where he was previously was amazing. They treated him like family. They communicated more than I could ever have imagined and he loved it there). But now… he’s home. He’s the little Italian boy… in the little Italian daycare.

Listen, this ain’t our first rodeo… we’ve been here before. We’ve done the first day of day care thing before. We have this down like clockwork. – Lay out his clothes, pack his lunch, lay out all his extra clothes, bottles, cups, bowls… all packed and ready for transport.

Forms were filled out. Emergency contact list had been updated. We were set… all we needed to do was get the little guy there, drop him off and head to work. All seemed to go according to plan until it was time to leave. The cries filled the room. Panic set in and guilt gripped our hearts. It’s what every parent who drops their child care off at daycare for the first time goes through… and it’s terrible.

The teachers tell you everything is ok and that he’ll be fine… hell I’ve said that to a thousand parents on the first day of school for years. It hurts just as bad each time. But it does get better and it did get better. Ollie turned out to be the star student.

His best subject: NAPPING!

Drop That Beat

Webster’s Dictionary defines “beat drop” as “the moment in a dance track when tension is released and the beat kicks in. Great drops create overbearing drama. They’re built for the unabashed and uninhibited, releasing the enormous energy accrued during a song’s progression.”

Think about it. You’ve been bumping and grinding… you’ve been bobbing and weaving … the music is progressing… you’ve gone through a few verses and even the hook. The sweat is building on your forehead and you can feel the tension in the rhythm buildingbigger, louder, until suddenly — the drop.

I imagine that’s exactly what Ollie was feeling at this exact moment:

I know it’s not house music… I know it’s not some big time bass hit produced by DJ Kool… but, boy can Imagine Dragons drop that beat with the best of them… Oliver thinks so!

I know I’m dating myself a bit here… but tell me this song doesn’t make you want to throw it back to 1996. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qG9ZWUitFik

PS: Fun Fact… DJ Kool borrows the phrase “Let Me Clear My Throat” from the Beastie Boys Licensed to Ill album.

… but it’s done

What should have taken 25 minutes. No tools. 7 total pieces and one person to assemble…

Actually took three days… two different channel locks, two pipe cutters, three extra pieces (I still don’t know where they are supposed to go), duct tape, plumbers tape and my four and a half year old.

But it’s done. Bath time is now organized. I’m sweating profusely, I have gone through a box of bandaids and my son won’t look me in the eye anymore… but it’s done.

Great Bammy #94

94 years ago a woman was born who would grow to be the matriarch of a pretty awesome family. She still talks politics, invest in the stock market, gives parenting advice, and critiques others pasta sauce.

Today four generations of her family celebrated her. We ate, we laughed, we pooped (well Oliver pooped… multiple times). Great Bammy was the center of attention today and that’s saying something in a room with both Jackson and myself, LOL.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRAM… enjoy, you deserve it.

Two of America’s Most Wanted

I guess, the Halloween spirit has turned my children I tom harden criminals. I’m now raising two of America’s Most Wanted, apparently they have kidnapped our neighbor’s pumpkin and are demanding ransom.

Watch out Halloween decorations… because just as the poet Tupac Shakur once said… “You done put two of America’s most wanted
In the same stinkin‘ place at the same stinkin‘ time

Monsters vs Best Friends

Setting: Jax’ room; 8:00pm

Jax: “Dad a monster might come in the room and eat you up.”

Me: “There aren’t any monsters in here bud.”

Jax: “Yes there are, they like to eat daddys and cell phones.”

Me: “I promise there aren’t any monsters in here bud.”

Jax: “It’s ok dad, Buster is in here. He eats monsters. He jumps off the bed and chases them out and then eats them up. He’s my best friend.”

EpiPen to the Rescue

Apparently I need an alternate universe to raise my son in… no I’m talking about the “Upside Down” from Stranger Things… and not an one that was altered by Doc Brown and Marty McFly after interfering with the Space/Time Continuum… I’m talking about one that doesn’t have nuts. You see, this week we learned that Oliver is allergic to nuts. It finally happened, dad’s injury prone ways and mom’s terrible immune system have cost our kid one of life’s greatest pleasures… almonds!

We lucked out… there is (as of now) not an issue with anything other than almonds, but still… with that comes all the fears of any other nut allergy… Epi-Pens, anaphylactic shock… and the dreaded nut free table at daycare. He was a healthy baby. He ate everything, and neither the wife nor I have severe food allergies. But a few seconds after taking a drink of almond milk (yes, we gave him almond milk… we ran out of whole milk and it’s all we had) he blew up like Veruca Salt in the Wonka Chocolate Factory.

It wasn’t a pretty sight… seeing your kid in a hospital bed having to be given an injection of epinephrine at such a young age is a scary thing. Granted that steroid took effect really fast and he was running laps around the hospital room at Olympic track team speed.

So for now, we’re those parents… we carry an EpiPen with us at all times, infirm wait staff that he has a nut allergy and most importantly always make sure we have REGULAR milk at the house.

Why Tattoos are Life

Tattoos have been around for centuries and getting a tattoo inspired by your children or your favorite book is nothing new… therefore it’s no surprise that all of my tattoos are directly connected to my sons and/or Harry Potter.

As a guy who enjoys tattoos… I wanted to get some ink done to represent my first after he was born. I decide on a meaningful representation of father and son taken from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows [short story] “The Tale of the Three Brothers.”

The story’s moral is that you should live life for the right reasons: love and those you love. The youngest brother in the story was a humble man and when he met Death at a crossroad in his life he asked for something that he could use to go forward and live a long and happy life, something in which he was allowed to see his child grow. He was given a cloak of invisibility and thus because of this he attained a great age and passed The Cloak of Invisibility to his son. I was happy to get a tattoo representing a moment that every father dreams of… Passing down something (knowledge, skill, an invisibility cloak) to their child which will ensure he will live long, happy and successful live.

When I decided it was time to get a tattoo honoring my newest little man it was obvious it would be something related to his name, Oliver, and also had to have some connection to Harry Potter. The olive branch has a very symbolic meaning which made it the perfect choice both references. The Olive Branch symbolizes a beginning of a new life. In the Harry Potter story, Oliver Wood is the first Quidditch player we meet. He is the keeper and captain of the Gryffindor team. He’s an athlete, a leader and a loyal friend. He’s also and one of my favorite characters in the story.

My most recent tattoo is just as special to me as the other ones I’ve gotten that were dedicated to my sons. The first time I visited the Harry Potter theme park in Orlando, Stephanie and I were walking out after a long hot day and as we pass a shelf loaded with stuffed animals and other HP merchandise, Jax starts pointing and laughing uncontrollably. He was pointing at the blue Cornish Pixie hanging on the shelf… so of course we bought it for him. He still has it to this day… so I got his Pixie (that he calls Pickie) on my inner arm.

Here are my other Harry Potter inspired tattoos:

And a quote on my ribs dedicated to my sons: “If anything should happen to me, the love for my sons should never go unsaid.”