I have noticed lately that I am beginning to have more Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde moments than normal. I seemingly have been more cranky of late than in months past. I’ve been able to narrow my more productive and more cranky type moods down to a few particular parts of the week:
Here for your entertainment is an my opinionated reflection on trends I’ve noticed in our life these days. I present to you my top three best and worst times of the week for excellence or awfulness in parenting.
#3 At My Best: 7:30 AM Saturdays
This is my parenting sweet spot. I’ve either slept enough to have some sort of alertness or drank enough coffee to fend off a zombie state. If something great is going to happen it is usually right now.
#3 At My Worst: 1:00 – 4:00 PM WEEKDAYS: ALWAYS
I barely lose my cool… I’m not someone who is short on patience (😁 ehhhhhh). But weekdays for about this three hour period im usually short fused and highly aggravated. I’ve been running around putting fires out all day at school, filling in for paraprofessionals who didn’t call in for a substitute and also getting 17,000 texts from your mother asking if I remembered to call the water company or order a new debit card (all of which I forgot to do). At this point there is no reason to even call me a parent. I’m too far down the rabbit hole at work to make any type of logical parenting decision. Whether it be VIA phone or text, I am incapable of having the mental competency to form a thought around anything but EIP meetings and school climate surveys.
#2 At My Best: 5:00 PM Weekdays.
This is the bread and butter of my parenting these days. I have had an hour or so ride home to decompress from an insane day and get home just in time to change out of my (as Justin would say)… Suit and tie and put on my Dad Uniform (running shorts and a wifey). You have big ideas for what we might accomplish during this uninterrupted dad/son time… usually consisting of some sick dance moves to Huey Lewis and the News on Pandora or throwing your cars down the slide which somehow now resides directly in the middle of the kitchen floor. Doesn’t matter what it is though, because it’s been a long day, and I’m ready for dad duty.
#2 At My Worst: Deadline O’clock.
There can’t be a worse time to be patient when you realize you have mere hours to complete something you’ve been meaning to complete for days. You can hear the clock from 24 counting down on you as you realize you still have to get something together for lunch, change a diaper and let the dogs out. There is nothing like the laser like focus of having 10 minutes to get something done to destroy all parenting skills. There’s no time for fooling around… No time to make sure your son isn’t playing in the toilet or breaking free from his prison gates that are set up all over the house. There no baby monitor or peripheral vision that can save you from the parenting nightmare known as a “deadline.”
#1 At My Best: Teachable Moment Time
When you do that “turn your head to the side a little and squint your eyes” look (which is the one time you look exactly like me)… Is when I’m at my most creative. Maybe it’s the teacher in me or maybe that’s like some innate parenting quality that is just there for when you need it. Inquisitive minds call for quick thinking and having some general knowledge of many things (by general knowledge I mean I can generally make stuff up and you won’t know the difference anyway). Either that or I just let you put it in your mouth and spit it out when you realize that muddy leaves taste like crap!
#1 At My Worst: 3:00-5:00 PM Sunday.
This is where I come to appreciate the amazing patience of being a parent. By this point I’ve gone to the gym, done countless hours of yard work and I’ve been with you all day. I’m almost through the first set of NFL GAMES and by now the first few beer have worn off and I’m feigning for a late afternoon cup of coffee. I’m either cursing our bad playing calling by Mike McCarthy and the Packers offense or counting tenths of points to see what percentage chance I have of winning at least one of my four fantasy football league match ups. (Mind you I’m playing against the same guys that I have on at least one of my other teams in my other league… You just can’t win.). Late Sunday afternoon is a parenting dead zone. I’m tired, you’re tired, and I’m pretty sure everyone is a bit sick of each other. Bath, book and bed time can’t come soon enough for everyone!