I literally hate raking leaves… Like I literally would rather do about 25,000 things besides rake leaves. I love everything about yard work, building stone walls… Mowing the lawn… Laying brick walkways… But I can not say that there is anything I enjoy less than raking leaves.
See that is what brings me here… Where I am today… With a son. I had a son and I thought it would make life easier. You know, have a son and make him do chores and pretty much do all the yard work and stuff.
I’m pretty angry at this point. I hate leaves and I hate the fact that I have 476,976,087 leaves to pick up by myself. I hate it so bad that I made a list of things I’d rather do than rake leaves…
1. Tell a kindergarten class that Santa put them on the naughty list.
2. Clean the gum under every desk in my school.
3. Count how many steps it takes to walk the Great Wall of China while someone skip counts next to me.
4. Read “50 Shades of Grey” to my grandma.
5. Sit front row at a Clay Aiken concert.
6. Throw away a perfectly good leftover pizza.
7. Watch “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” and take a shot every time Kim takes a selfie.
8. Be a bathroom attendant at a bar downtown.
9. Swim in a pool before waiting 30 minutes after eating.
10. Tell a group of sorority girls that Starbuck’s no longer sells Pumpkin Spice Lattes.
11. Listen to an audio version of The Great Gatspy narrated by Fran Drescher.
12. Accept invitations to play Facebook games
13. Talk to a telemarketer
14. Sit in traffic for 13 hours after drinking
15. Walk barefoot over a pile of Legos.
… It’s too bad I actually had to actually clean up all these damn leaves. Like pick everyone up by hand… By myself… DAMN IT!
…19 hours later and all he’s doing is playing around. #GetToWork #ThatLaughThough…
Insane amount of leaves out there today. Too many to count. Too many to even think about doing by myself… Then again I might as well just hire someone. You know also bc my son isn’t going to do much out here.
… Well I better get back to work… At least one of us is having fun out here…