Wifey: “wake up. I’m in so much pain! I think I’m in labor.”
Answer option #1- Me (future loving father): OK, I’ll grab the bag and get the car.
Answer option #2- Me (12 adult beverages from the night before): “go back to bed, you’re not in labor it’s freaking not even 5!”
For future reference option #1 would have been the better choice.