Poopie the Snowman

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I was never really a snowman kinda kid.  I was more of a snow fort and snowball fight kinda guy.  But the snowman is a right of passage, its a staple in the northeast, its what sets apart the men from the boys.  Jax has been out in the snow before, but he hasn’t had the honor of meeting one of the famous snowmen made by dad… and none of that Olaf crap… I’m talking the real snow man that uses sticks for arms and a carrot for a nose and poop for eyes…

…wait… what?  

Yup.  My kid’s first snowman and I used dog poo for the snowman’s eyes.

I feel awful but, I am sure he won’t remember.  There is a time for keeping things simple and this was that time.  I wasn’t about to go find some coal.  Who even has coal around these days?  I mean I guess if you had a steam train running through your backyard… then maybe you might have some coal laying around… but not us.  This family is all about using what is available to you… and there is an abundance of poo in the front yard these days.

I think Jax liked his snowman friend.

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We’re Moving

That’s it we’re moving to Wisconsin. I’ve always said Wisconsin has some of the greatest gifts the world has to offer… cheese and the Green Bay Packers. I mean I am a Packers Team Owner… But with the technology of today I don’t have to hover over my franchise. I take part in conference calls with Mike and Ted VIA Skype, so I never needed to live in close proximity. Until I saw this…

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And now… After seeing this… I’m moving the family there. NOW. We’ll send for our stuff. The Abominable Snowman, The Bumble himself just out for a stroll on a Wisconsin sidewalk and no one cares. It’s just normal Wisconsin. Gotta go pick up my kids from school or grab some cranberry juice from the store… But first let me grab a quick selfie w Bumble.

Over here on the East Coast there’s no way he survives more than 30 minutes without getting beat up or arrested. People would not care for a giant snow monster roaming their neighborhood… “The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.” Over here no way this plays out well for Frosty.

This video is so Wisconsin it hurts. Everybody seems so friendly, so cold and so happy. I could deal without the cold… But it just seems like a happy-go-lucky place to raise a kid.

Someone call U-Haul.