Now Batting… #11… Oliver

The journey from Town TBall to where we are now has been one of the most interesting, complex and exhausting experiences of my life. Coming from someone who played sports at an extremely high level, I cannot and could not ever have predicted how insanely fast things can happen when sports (especially youth sports) are concerned. 

I’d love to spend the time in this blog describing what got us to this point, but Oliver is the real reason we are here today!  

There is no doubt that Oliver is athletic.  Anyone who comes into contact with him can see it. Coaches comment on it, players notice it, and as sports analysts would say, “tape don’t lie.” But then again, he just turned eight… everyone at eight looks good playing their sport and let’s be very clear- every parent thinks their kid is the next Bryce Harper, LeBron James (🤮) or Patrick Mahomes… but, no one can do what those guys do.  The chances of being a D1 college athlete let alone a professional athlete are less than 1%. 

With that being said, Steph and I have been steadfast in just supporting the growth of our boys in terms of their love of the game, their effort and determination in how they approach anything they take on (sports included). If they want to try something, then they take it on with determination and commitment. Then again honesty, how do you teach that to an eight year old… I guess modeling and finding the right people that can model that for them is the right path.  

That brought us to the CTMETS Baseball Academy. What sets The CTMets academy apart is their commitment to developing well-rounded individuals. They understand that baseball is more than just a game; it’s a vehicle for teaching valuable life skills. This was not something we were looking for. But as the process played out… we chose theCTMETS… after they chose us. 

We showed up for an evaluation after being convinced by a friend to check them out. We were looking for a workout program, maybe 1:1 coaching once a week or so. We had no expectations and to be honest we were over the travel team nonsense. This was going to be something to get us through the winter and get the boys ready for rec baseball in the spring. 

Oliver (and Jax) went and worked out with three former professional Major League Baseball players. Oliver did his thing, he dove for balls, made throws from his knees. He hit the ball and afterwards Coach Jose used the phrase… “Oliver is Elite.”  (even Jax was crushing baseballs in the cage)

Coach sat Steph and I down for almost an hour.  The first thing he asked was if we would consider allowing Oliver to play for the 9u CTMETS, who are a statewide travel team consisting of some of the best young baseball players across CT.  This is a huge opportunity for Oliver. Not only is this team one of the best travel teams in the state, but at seven years old at the time Oliver was the youngest player ever to make the team. It’s an incredible honor, and we’re so proud of him.

Hearing Coach Jose describe how he was trying to get Oliver to show him how he could “backhand a ball from the shortstop position,” but Oliver was so fast to the ball he, “kept squaring it up and getting in front of it to field it in a perfect position to be ready to throw,” was amazing. He laughed when he said he, “can’t get some of his 17u infielders to do that.”  He told us he needs a player like Oliver (who he recognized was very young at seven for this team), but explained that he wants to build his academy and team from an early age and most importantly explained that Oliver was, “ready now.”

He explained to us his philosophy of coaching baseball… but more importantly… coaching well rounded children… if that didn’t sell us… when he said he saw something in Jax, besides baseball talent, he told us he saw “a leader and a big brother who cheered for his little brother everytime he made a great play” and that he recognized something in him too. He told us he wanted Jax to be part of his team… not to play in games yet, but to be there to help the younger players. To be there to support his brother who is one of the youngest kids on the team, but also to help build Jax’ baseball skills (coach Jose loves big first basemen!!!)

That was it. We needed them like they needed us. We were so out on the travel experience, until that night we met Coach Jose and his staff. Until they saw Oliver and Jax as people first and players second (hearing your seven year old is elite doesn’t hurt either)!

Congratulations, Oliver. Good luck! Do us proud, but more importantly, do you proud!  Now to the important question, can I have your autograph?

G2/3 Flag Football (Coach and Player)

I have enjoyed coaching both my boys throughout all sports during their athletic journey, but there is something special about coaching football. Ollie and I seem to do very well together as player and coach and this is now our third year in a row together in flag. Our town’s flag team has developed into a HUGE success and I have very much enjoyed helping a good friend grow the program through clinics, travel games and this year’s town tournaments.

Oliver has something very special when it comes to football; you can learn the plays and develop with good practice habits and with experiences comes better understanding, but the vision he possesses on the field is very advanced for his age and time playing. (Yes I know he’s seven and yes I know it’s just flag football, but it’s there and it’s very noticeable).

Throughout this blog you’ll read about “The Boop”. For referebcw when he was younger he couldn’t say “juke” (a move by a player running the ball where the runner cuts back hard and fast and makes the defender miss while then quickly cuts back up the field). Oliver, who couldn’t pronounce juke, would mistakenly call the move a “Boop” and so the “Ollie Boop” was born! Now if we can just harness ALL that OTHER energy he might just run through a brick wall!

Season Running Summary:

W: Black 6 – Green 14 (1-0)

What a way to start the G2/3 season! The “Ollie Boop” was back in action! A win and a score for Ollie! Guilford Green was awesome today! Love coaching this little animal!

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W: White 0 – Green 18 (2-0)

Another W For team GREEN. The boys pitched a shutout 18-0! Great group of kids! Oliver had the BOOP working today and almost took one to the house!

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W: Grey 12 – Green 24 (3-0)

The Packers dominated at Lambeau Field and Team Green dominated back in Guilford even without The Boop . The Packers moved to 1-1 and G-Green moved to 3-0!

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W: Black 6 – Green 12 (4-0)

Today was a very, very close game that was highlighted by tremendous defense and a team effort. We played almost the entire team at quarterback, passed the ball for big gains and pulled flags like our lives depended on it.

Oliver followed his blockers down the field and looked good as a receiver too. We look very good right now, highlighted by a bunch of boys who really like playing football and more importantly we have really grown into a team. I love watching them cheer for each other and celebrate each success together!

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W: Green – White (5-0)

“The Whistle Game”

A hard fought win for team Green today against a VERY good team White. Both teams played great defense, but when it came down to it, our defensive line (Ollie, Connor and Jakey) was just reeking havoc in the backfield making it almost impossible for team White to even get plays off! A few backfield tackles for Ollie highlighted by a Barry Sanders like run for a massive first down late in the second half iced the game for us and secured our fifth win in a row!

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L: Grey 24 – Green 13 (5-1)

The Wishbone Offense

Tough loss for Team Green today, but when you fall down, it’s about how fast you can get back up. Oliver had a boop for the ages… and threw a huge block to get his BFF in the end-zone, but in the end it’s about running the marathon, not a sprint and these boys have what it takes to bounce back.

We’ve seen them be the front runners for over a month… now everyone is going to have to deal with a team with a chip on its shoulder! (PS it’s also flag football, so they just had ice cream after the game and everyone was fine).

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W: Green 18 – White 6 (7-1)

I don’t care what the score is, Team White is a juggernaut. And other than a handful of big plays, they shut down our offense all game. You would think green and white would be a shootout… But not today. Today was two defenses battling back and forth that brought back memories of Reggie, White and Lawrence Taylor!!!

Oliver broke lose on the second play of the game for a massive run that set up the first touch down of the game and again later in the second half took us from our own goal line on a third and incredibly long to a first down on our opponents goal line, leading to another score. If it wasn’t for a phantom flag that fluttered off his waste after Booping ankles all over the field, he would have scored a touchdown late in the last few minutes to further put the game away.

Let’s go Green! Today’s win locked up the NUMBER ONE SEED in the playoffs!!!

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W: Green 18 – Gray 6 (8-1)

Another big game for Ollie and Team Green! Avenging our only loss only the season! 8-1 and on to the playoffs!!!

Coach Joe needed to head to another venue for some scouting for our playoff matchups (just kidding he had to go to his niece’s confirmation). I took on head coaching duties and did him proud. We played hard and kept Gray scoreless until the last minute of the game. Ollie looked good again running the ball and used his cut back skills to boop his way to the down the field!

On to the playoffs next week!

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PLAYOFFS: Round One

W: Green – Black (9-1)

Game One of the Playoffs was against a VERY, VERY GOOD BLACK TEAM! While we beat them them each time in the regular season they had a very well coached team who developed tremendously through the season (that is exactly the purpose of this program)! We fought hard and came away with a win. Everyone on the team contributed in this game and Oliver had two HUGE runs to get us first downs, one on fourth down and another on third and a million yards! His teammates stepped up for him and blocked hard!

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PLAYOFFS: CHAMPIONSHIP GAME

W: Green 18 – White 13 (10-1)

The game of the year, heck the game of the century took place in the Championship Game… as it should! The two teams with the best record head to head for all the marbles, the Lombardi DeMayo Trophy, the Championship!

Team White simply outclassed and outplayed us in the first half and at one point we were down 13-0. Oliver and his team did everything they could to keep the game from getting away from us. They played great defense and only allowed two scores on two broken plays (I will take the blame for the second touchdown, sending our corner on an all out blitz allowing their QB to slip outside for a long score).

Nick, Matt and Jackson fire up their little brothers at half time. Some say their speech saved our season!

Heads were hanging at half time as the team had only trailed in one game all year. Enter the G5 Tackle Team Older Brothers. They gave a rousing “Any Given Sunday” speech and inspired Team Green to come out like a freight train! The defensive line stayed stout and did not give up a point in the second quarter (more impressively, Oliver did not jump offsides once!) Oliver gobbled up flags in the back field and continued to force Team White into punts. A newly installed Wishbone Motion Fullback Dive Right on the goal line to “The Pepperbush Beast” C.DeMayo put us up one point.

With less than two minutes remaining up by one point and on a fourth and a million yards to go, Coach DeMayo called on The Boop. It was now or never, it was like calling in Mariano Rivera for a six out save in the eight inning, like bringing in Reggie Miller for a game winner against the Knicks with Spike Lee starting him down. We needed a first down to put the game away and we needed The Boop… when you need The Boop… you get The Boop! Oliver took the hand off from the backfield broke a pair of ankles and outran four defenders to take the ball almost to the house. A first down and four fresh downs to put the game away!

After a QB Keeper put us up 5, Team White came storming back with less than a minute to go to cross mid field, two sacks by Oliver on consecutive plays put them in a desperate situation, but with one last play remaining, Team White took a hand off towards the left corner of the goal line, but it was Team Green’s defense standing on the field at the 1/2 yard line holding a RED FLAG high above their head with 0:00 remaining on the clock. In the voice of John Sterling, “Ball Game Over, Championship Game Over… TEAM GREEN WINS… TEEEEEEEAMMMMMMMMMMMMM GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNN WINS!”

What a season, what a team, what a program. I hated watching the boys on Team White lose, but it is with great sadness and desire to come back stronger, that creates players who are inspired to come back for more. It wasn’t just the winning and losing, it was the team work, the friendships, the skill development AND the winning and losing. That’s how you build a program… Watch out surrounding towns, because the G2/3 kids moving up to tackle next year are going to be more than ready for you!

Champions and Best Friends!!!

Aaron Judge Taught My Son to Read

Steph and I didn’t want to put pressure on our kids to read until they were ready, but I can tell you that we definitely did everything we could to get them ready. We’ve read to them since they were babies, but never pushed a formal program or system. As an elementary school principal and former primary grade (early literacy) teacher I know the importance of foundational reading skills; but, we sort of said, if they learn on their own, cool. If they take their time, also cool (caveat: I stressed at every milestone)!!!

I honestly didn’t expect much in terms of reading progress before kindergarten because or the pandemic thing. Oliver had learned his letters and some sound combinations in preschool, but nothing was really clicking right away (except how to hit a baseball a ton and how to juke out a defensive back with the football in his hand). Ollie loved reading with us, but he just wasn’t super interested in reading on his own for fun. The first months of kindergarten were the same.

Then he checked out a book on Aaron Judge. You know MVP, AL HOME RUN KING… that Aaron Judge?  Oliver is a sports fanatic. He is IN LOVE WITH BASEBALL and IN LOVE WITH THE NEW YORK YANKEES. Like so many kids his age, Aaron Judge is his favorite. As soon as we read that book together… it all started coming together. He was starting to work his way through books . Don’t get me wrong he was reading Pokémon books, but this Aaron Judge book helped him turn the corner and led to more interest in short stories and even longer ones that were not focused on “Judgie” as Oliver calls him. By the second or third time through the book, he’d pretty much memorized it which lead to reading other books more fluently with more confidence.

Pretty soon he was picking up books like Mo Willems’ Elephant and Piggie and begging to start the Harry Potter series with Jax and I. However, each night since he first picked up Baseball Superstar’s: Aaron Judge, he has become a Superstar himself… a Superstar Reader. 

Thanks “Judgie” for inspiring my little slugger to read!!!

8U Travel All-Stars

Let the games begin! This is the first big stop on Ollie’s baseball journey: 8U travel team… LET’s Go Grizzlies!!! So excited for this kid and his friends to dominate! I’m lucky I get to coach this great group of boys!!!

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Season Ending Totals for Oliver in his first year of Travel Ball against kids MUCH older than him:

17-27 (.630 AVG); 11 RBI; 6 R

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GAME 1:

I hate losing, but I love learning. Our boys learned a lot today. I am extremely proud of how they put things together in their first Travel All-Star Game EVER. We got destroyed in our first game 10-2 against a much more experienced travel team.

Oliver went 1-2 with a single. I am so proud of Oliver for what he has taken on this season. He’s the funny guy, but he’s turning into a leader on this team!

Thanks to all the fans (families) who came out to cheer us on!

GAME 2:

Another tournament game in the books! We were much improved from our first game. Even though we lost, the boys had fun and played hard and smart!

Ollie went 2-2! Two hits with an RBI and made a great play in the field at second base! I love watching this kid play!

Also: HUGE SHOUT OUT TO JAX who literally did play by play and color commentary from the pressbox!

“Wow he was called out!??? I’m not sure what the umpire was seeing there!!!”

GAME 3

What a game tonight for the 8U Seabreeze team! Our bats finally broke out scoring 10 runs on the night. While we lost, we actually played the A team from the town that we lost to in Game 1 and played them better!!! We are making progress.

Ollie went 2-3 with 2RBIs and a run! Scoring all the way from first on a short double, it’s a cool feeling waving your own son home as you’re watching watching his face as he is flying by you at thirdbase! I FELT LIKE A TURNSTILE OUT THERE WAVING PLAYERS HOME!!!

Tonight the boys broke out the bats and broke out of their shells. The excitement from the bench was infectious and the fans kept the spirits high! (Also, another superb performance from Jax on the play-by-play!)

Superstars all around tonight!!! I really wish my grandfather was around to see this!!!

GAME 4:

Short handed, playing a much better, more experienced team, in 90* humidity (and a fourteen year old umpire whose brother was on the team we were playing)… we lost, but did hold our first lead of the season thanks to some timely hitting in the early innings.

Oliver went 2-3 with an RBI to put us up for the first time all season. His third at bat was a screaming line drive that would have been a double if not for a nice play by the third baseman. He made another great play in the field at shortstop with his partner in crime Connor. They are turning into a dominant defensive force in the middle infield (sort of).

GAME 5:

We “RUN MERCIED” our first team in the third inning yesterday! I can not tell you the screaming and jumping up and down from the kids and families when the ump called the inning! I swear, you would have thought we won the World Series! It felt good to put things together… move players along the bases and get big hits when we needed them! Though we lost the game, this was definitely a BIG step for the boys!

Oliver went 2-3 (his out came on a hard line-drive, so he is making good contact even on outs). He played catcher and came a few inches from making a great tag on a play at the plate. It was one of the most exciting games so far this year!

UPDATE GAME 6:

Yuck. We aren’t going to talk about this game or the umpire again.

Ollie went 0-1 with a hard ground out in the first and didn’t bat again.

UPDATE GAME 7:

The single most thrilling game this year and by far one of the most exciting games I’ve ever been part of as a coach and/or parent. We held our first lead of the tournament, scored five runs in an inning and batted through a the lineup four times.

All you can ask for is a chance to win. We came into the bottom of the sixth down two and came up just a run short. Ollie came up down one with runners on first and second and did his job and moved the runner into scoring position with a sacrifice ground out. The game ended on the next at bat with the tying run on third and winning running on second. A loss stings, but this was one of the best losses I’ve ever been part of (if that’s possible).

Ollie went 3-4 with three RBIs and a two runs. His first two hits were absolutely crushed into the outfield. His second hit was a bomb over the centerfielder’s head and Ollie pulled into second base with a double!

Look at the ball (top of the picture) absolutely crushed off the bat!

GAME 8:

Ollie was 1-2 with a single and fly out. He was an absolute vacuum in the field. He looked like Brooks Robinson at third. As far as the game… YIKES. Quite a step back for the boys today. This is one of those games you live and learn.

GAME 8:

I’m still not ready to completely accept that the end of the season is here, but our 8u Grizzlies’ Seabreeze team ended their season with a 17-16 loss which has a LARGER ASTERISK than Barry Bonds’ homerun record. Oliver “The Ultimate Warrior” Fragola (who in his last game of the seasons went 3-4 with 5 RBIs and 2R) came to bat with the game on the line, down three with the bases loaded and knocked in two runs to bring the game within one, however the game ended there “time limit rule”. These kids’ commitment was unwavering and their resolve and hard work to improve each day was more than i could have ever imagined. I am proud to be their coach, I am proud to have grown with them and I am proud of the frienships and bonds that have been forged from this travel baseball season.

Thank you to Steph for allowing me to be gone six nights a week and to be cranky when things weren’t going our way. Thank you to the parents for trusting me with your children and trusting me with their baseball development. Thank you for coach Meg for getting me on board, and a special shout out to the Pepperbush Crew. Thanks for dealing w me and Joe (thanks for all the feedback, you’ll always be Coach Joe to me!!!)… and thank for getting my third base coach arm “wave them home” working!!!

But most of all thank you Oliver for teaching me more than I could ever teach you; thank you for showing me that coaching could be just as rewarding as being an athlete on the field; thank you for showing me how sports can be about fun and laughter just as much as winning… while reminding me that winning is important too! Thank You for being you, Oliver, a true ALL-STAR!!!

*One of my favorite pictures of the tournament. Clapping for my son who reached first after singling home two runs he knocked in! In one of the biggest spots all summer, Oliver came to bat and came through and had one of the biggest hits of the season. It should have resulted in a win… But Win or lose… I couldn’t be more proud of my son as a baseball player, leader and little boy!!!

Oliver’s Official Rookie Card

Season Ending Totals:

17-27 (.630 AVG); 11 RBI; 6 R

“If my uniform doesn’t get dirty, I haven’t done anything in the baseball game.” -Rickey Henderson

A Letter from a Baseball Dad

Dear Jax,

I’m not the easiest guy to get along with! I’m definitely not the best at cheering you on… I think I make you nervous. But one thing I am great at… IS BEING SO INCREDIBLY PROUD OF YOU!!!

I’ve watched you grow into a confident leader on your baseball team. I’ve watched you cheer on your team when no one else is. Today I watched you pick up a teammate who tripped and carry his bag for him when he was hurt. Then watching a teammate strike out, you were the first one to meet her at the dugout and give her a high five and a hug and tell her not to worry!

You my friend are everything I have ever hoped you would be as an athlete and person. You Jackson have something NOT THAT MANY OTHER PEOPLE HAVE… compassion, humor and leadership.

I watched you this year work on your swing… let me tell you something, baseball is the hardest sport in the world to play! Ted Williams who is considered one of the greatest, if not THE GREATEST HITTER in the history of baseball said, “The hardest thing to do in baseball is to hit a round baseball with a round bat.” And Deion Sanders (who played nine seasons in MLB including for the Yankees, while also having a Hall of Fame NFL career at the same time) when asked the hardest thing to do in all of sports, he said “Hitting that baseball.”

For some context, remember you have been a switch hitter for six years! That means you take half as many swings as your friends and teammates, because you have to practice swinging both righty and lefty! Switch hitting, Something NOT ONE OTHER PERSON IN ALL OF A, AA, AAA leagues can do! NOT ONE!

In all of Major League Baseball there were only 17 people who could switch hit last year! ONLY 17 of 974 Major League Baseball players can do what you do (thatsmeans 957 Major League Baseball playerS CAN NOT do what you CAN do!!!).

With that being said not many players have what it takes to be a leader, a hard worker and a great teammate. I’m happy you are working lefty and happy watching you get more comfortable at the plate. I’ve never told you this, but I stopped playing baseball in high school because I never really was a good hitter. I know what it’s like to stand in the batters box and be nervous. Everyone who has ever played baseball has felt that way!

I love watching you play baseball. I am so happy when you are out there on the field! Most importantly though, I want you to be happy too! Maybe it doesn’t seem like it, but I am so proud of you. I want you to be successful and maybe I don’t tell you enough… but you are successful. You are a leader, a great player and someone who I would want on my team every single day of the week.

Love Always,

Dad

Happy Seventh Birthday Oliver

Dear Oliver,

I feel like seven is an underrated age. Six seems so young… But, seven feels so different. I’m not sure if that means you can watch PG movies now, or maybe you’re allowed to vote or drive a car or something? But I know that the Bubble Guppies loving, Blaze and the Monster Machine quoting little guy… doesn’t seem so little anymore.

There’s still signs of that little guy there. That adorable, innocent, and sometimes menacing smile, wanting to curl up in bed with Mom And Dad in the middle of the night for no reason or a simple request to race hot wheels. Those will always be there. I know they will and mom and I cherish each of those times more than you’ll ever know more than you’ll know at seven years old and more than you’ll know as you grow older, until one day you have children of your own.

Mom and I are in awe of the boy you have become. You’re not just someone’s son or a little brother. You are your own unique person. Watching you develop a passion and love for baseball and football has been truly inspiring. You remind me of me at your age, collecting baseball cards and reading the back of the cards as you unwrap them to learn more about each player is so fun to experience. Watching you trade baseball cards with your brother and talk about sports with him and I or some of the best moments I’ve had over the past year.

This year you just picked up a chapter book and started reading it. You fold your own laundry, you make your own breakfast. You never cease to amaze us. I watch you take care of your cousins, call to check on Bammy and Mima and continue to develop into a kind and respectful boy. You are a leader and your friends look up to you. That’s what life is about… leading with kindness and respect. We can’t ask for anything more.

We have enjoyed watching you live your life through your eyes and your stories. Your crazy stories, your fearless attempts at anything you put your mind too are impressive (and at times scary for mom and I). Yet in the end, it’s those reasons your will be successful.

Anything you put your mind to, you will accomplish. You will never fail if your goal is not perfection, but excellence and improvement. We could not be anymore proud of you and we could not be more excited about what the future holds for you.

Keep being crazy! We love you!!!

Love always,

Dad

January 31, 2017
January 31, 2018
January 31, 2019
January 31, 2020
January 31, 2021
January 31, 2022
January 31, 2023
January 31, 2024

Santa Went All Out

No way did we get this much stuff when we were kids!

Don’t get me wrong. Santa hooked me up every year and we never went wanting, but I remember getting a WWF Wrestling Buddy, a 1987 Topps factory set and a Rickey Henderson autograph and I literally thought Santa went broke just on our Christmas presents every year!!!.

PS: the single greatest XMAS present ever given to any child:

Thank you Santa

Is My Kid Hallucinating?!!

We’re at the point in parenting children (in terms of a nighttime routine) where it’s not just dealing with diapers and trying to get them to sleep w out crying. Those infant stage all-nighters are expected when you have babies. They poop themselves and they want to eat that’s what babies do. But now we have older kids… no more babies. They are supposed to read a book and fall asleep peacefully.

Therefore, taking care of two children who are almost eight and five years old we expect nighttime cooperation. Unfortunately, these damn kids are at the age where they have learned that they have some power in the world, and they’ve decided to seize any opportunity to use it. We’re not surprised by our mini-negotiators saying anything to stall their bedtime—even if they’re about to fall asleep mid-sentence. That’s not an issue. I can deal with that.

But, this is different. This is every night at 1am… 2:30am… every night. They seek us out. They are just there. I don’t know how they get in our bed. I don’t understand the science behind being able to climb over us get under the blankets and not wake anyone up. They just do it. It’s magic, it’s sorcery. Somehow they just appear. Every. Goddamn. Night.

I wake up with either a foot jammed in my back, or with someone crying about a monster that might be in the closet, or bathroom, or on the roof. Listen, I respect that. I had my fair share of nightmares a kid. But, I’m starting to wonder if these stories are just made up. Legit, made up dreams to make mom and I just give in and let them stay in bed with us.

Case in point:

Last week… It was the middle of the night, and we were sound asleep (Steph had already abandoned ship after being up for hours trying to calm a miserable four year old who wanted to stay up and watch tv/ have a drink of water/ have a snack/ read one more book/ etc, etc, etc). I thought I had finally gotten a night of sleep only wake up at 3:30 to the sound of someone having a full on conversation in the bed. It took me a minute to realize it was Oliver talking to someone. I looked around to see who he was talking too. “Steph?,” I whispered. That’s when I realized we were alone.

I jumped out of bed and did whatever a guy needs to do when he believes his home is being invaded, (or his son is possessed), I screamed like a 14 year old seeing Harry Styles for the first time in concert. “Ok, everything is fine,” I said to myself. No one is here. No poltergeist or anything like that, right? But then I heard more mumbling… “Gyro [who is our neighbors’ dog] is barking! His face is right there, but it’s square?!!!”

My first thought: what the heck is he talking about?!? My second thought: Is my kid hallucinating?!!

That’s our life now… waking up to children in our bed at 2am talking about our neighbor’s dog. (And we thought the baby night time stage was hard). It’s exhausting, but the good news is I’ve read some advice from a parenting blog (clearly one that takes themselves way more serious than #ChroniclesOfANewDad. Their advise was:

“Carry your midnight wanderer back to their room every time they bust into yours. If you let them crash with you, you’re setting the stage for a never-ending bedtime battle. Consider hanging bells on your doorknob so you can hear your toddler coming; that way, you can walk them back to their room before they climb into your bed and make themselves comfy.”

“Walk them back, tell them to stay in their own rooms, carry them back yourself”… it’s not working here (there’s no way it’s happening anywhere). Everyone has advise, everyone has ideas until they wake up with child’s foot in their ear and a four year old talking to the next door neighbor’s dog!

“Every morning when I wake up, my first thought is, ‘When can I come back here?’ It’s the carrot that keeps me motivated. Sometimes going to bed feels like the highlight of my day. Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings.”

–Jim Gaffigan