We made the switch to the big boy bed for big boy Ollie this weekend. It’s always a blessing and a curse when you make that switch. It was more a blessing for Jax as he actually slept better with out the crib front on. Oliver not so much.
Cue the curse
The first attempt was a success… I got him changed and he laid himself down with a. Big smile and he was out like a light. But, that was it. That was the highlight of our transition. From here on out it became a cruel and unusual punishment for mom and dad. That early nap wasn’t a sign of things to come, it was a fluke… there was a flaw in the plan. We didn’t take into account that Oliver is just so much smarter than us. He lured us into a false sense of security and we fell for it.
Bottom line, he won’t stay in the damn bed. We put him in he slid out, walked down the hall and let himself in our room. Over and over and OVER again.
He did laundry:
He wandered aimlessly around saying he won’t go to “sweep” and that he is a dinosaur:
He even pulled up a quiet seat in the bathroom in hopes no one would notice him:
It was a game of wills and in the end a toddler will almost always win. But this kid better recognize he’s dealing with two pros, two seasoned veterans of the toddler nonsense. When you come at these two parents you better come hard because we don’t mess around…
Case in point: toddler gets out of his bed every fifteen seconds… no problem… Front of the old crib gets zip tied back on and then wedge a a large rocking chair to keep it from moving for the night.
Just like in Coach Herm Edward’s locker room, in this house, “You play to win the game!”
And in the end… the way end (like 10:25pm- three hours after we first put him to bed) he fell asleep in his old crib, zip ties and all, and we won… Sort of.
Me: Listen to me. Jax, look, when I was a kid…when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur. I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus rex more than anything in the world. I made my arms short and I roamed the backyard…and I chased the neighborhood cats, and I growled and I roared. Everybody knew me and was afraid of me. And then one day, my dad said, “Peter, you’re 17. It’s time to throw childish things aside.” And I said, “Okay, dad.” But he didn’t really say that, he said, “Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job.” But, you know, I thought to myself, “I’ll go to elementary education school…l’ll teach for a little while, and then I’ll come back to it.