5.24.14 – Mornings

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It’s breakfast time. For once, it’s actually quiet in the house and I’m able to enjoy just sitting and spending quality time with my son.  It’s so much more enjoyable when he is actually eating his food and not redecorating my shirt or the couch with it.  It’s been a pretty good night, but I’m not surprised that the coffee I’m drinking is unable to counteract the events of the week so far.  (Note to self… try making coffee tomorrow morning with REDBULL instead of water).

Out of nowhere a flash of dark fur streaks across the family room… not that out of the ordinary for my Max, who already is just weird to the level of infinity x 3.  But what happens next is what draws my concern.  He begins to squat, but this time, he slowly turns his head and looks right at me… like literally… we lock eyes.  Then it happens. He’s dropping a bomb on the floor and I think to myself, “I mean, he is literally staring at me and pooping on the floor.”  It all happens in slow motion and when he’s finished I swear he smiled at me and laughed when he walked away.

Yet, nothing stops the little guy from enjoying his breakfast of champions.  He ate the whole thing, and it didn’t result in me OR him having to change!

Today is going to be a good day, I can feel it.

5.19.14. – Champions are Born Here

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Kid was born a champ! The world was blessed with another Yankee fan on 4.27.14. I’m not sure there is a person more excited about passing down the history of the NYY than I am. Also beyond stoked he’ll be able to say he saw Derek Jeter play before he retired.

Transcribed Conversation from 5.19.14

Received: 05/19/2014 2:26 AM
Type: Surveillance
Location: Nursery
Present: Mrs.ChroniclesOfANewDad, Jax Carmine
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TRANSCRIPT BEGINS:
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Mrs.ChroniclesOfANewDad: hunny… hunny, whats wrong?

Jax Carmine: [Inaudible Scream]

Mrs.ChroniclesOfANewDad: Whats wrong little man?

Jax Carmine: [Inaudible Scream]

Mrs.ChroniclesOfANewDad: Relax little man… Come on, come lay with mommy.

Jax Carmine: [PROLONGED Inaudible Scream]

Mrs.ChroniclesOfANewDad: Ok – just fine lay on the changing table, then, and calm down, please?

[Pause]

Jax Carmine: [Wimper Sound] followed by 3 sniffs

Mrs.ChroniclesOfANewDad: Good now come sit with mama and we’ll rock on the new chair

[Pause as Mrs.ChroniclesOfANewDad gently picks up child and transfers him to new rocking chair.]

Mrs.ChroniclesOfANewDad: Why do you get so upset? I love you so much… can’t you just relax and go to sleep… mommy is so tired. Are you ready for bed now?

Jax Carmine: [Pause] followed by Inaudible Blood Curdling Scream.

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END OF TRANSCRIPT
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CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This transcript communication, including attachments, is covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, is confidential and may be legally privileged and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended recipient or believe you received this communication in error, please reply to the sender indicating the fact and delete the copy you received. In addition, retention, dissemination, distribution, copying, or otherwise use of the information contained in this communication is strictly prohibited unless expressly approved by the sender. Thank you

5.18.14 – Tommy Time

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So Grandpa Soprano strikes again… A cute picture text to the family unit turns out to be a question about Tommy Hilfiger.

This was a great way to start the morning. Although I do think this TOMMY TIME thing could catch on… Maybe I’ll start a Blog called FashionBaby … And yes my wife’s contact information in my phone is titled “Love of my Life.” That’s a story for another day.

5.16.14 – Lovin’ That Baba

I can not believe how much this kid loves to eat. I guess this is that “cluster feeding” thing bc all he does is destroy bottles and boobs. I could win the lottery while an army of Victoria secret models show up at my doorstep with the sole mission of perfecting the art of massage and I wouldn’t feel a 1/1000th of the happiness of this kid with his bottle.

Jax knows how to get the most out of the little things in life and I respect the shit out of his game. It’s the definition of pure, unadulterated joy. I wish I can love something as much as this boy loves his milk.