Things You Never Thought You’d Say or Hear

-The doctor said it was allergies and prescribed me meds for it… But then said not to take it bc I’m still nursing.

-Maybe I got poop on my hand and didn’t notice it and then touched my skin?

-Was that you farting or did Jax diarrhea?

-Just put the other half of that turkey burger and some soup in the blender for Jax for lunch.

-Ohh crap he’s up… Nope forget it… He just face planted back down!

-He has holes in his damn socks! Clearly he’s your son!