I’ve seen this on a few website recently. I thought I would take a look through and see if there was anything in here that applies to everyday life. (And by see if it applies to everyday life I mean: am I a real man and can I do these things so that I can pass them on to my son)…
1. His wedding anniversary date
Absolutely, How can I forget? I start getting emails about where Steph set up her gift registry at around mid-July.
2. Basic DIY
You know that old saying: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?” Yea… well… my take on that is… if it’s, don’t fix it.
3. How to change a light bulb
Easy to do… but I usually just wait for my mother in law to buy the right bulb and replace it for me.
4. How to tie up a tie
Easy… been a fashion icon for years!
5. How to read a map
I can read my GPS.
6. His partner’s favorite drink
Wine… is there a need to know a specific kind? Red or white is the extent of my wine knowledge.
7. How to iron a shirt
Button the shirt… and only iron the front on the steam setting, or wear a sweater over said wrinkled shirt.
8. How to change a tire
I’ll drive to town fair tire on my rims before I change a flat.
9. How to wet shave correctly
Stubble is the way to go. (PS: What the hell is a wet shave? Like in the shower? Is that possible?)
10. The right amount of aftershave to use
Don’t shave… don’t need after shave.
11. How to change a fuse
This I know how to do. It is the extent of my electrical knowledge. It also gives me the right to tell people, “yeah, I’ve done electrical work before.”
12. When a woman says ‘I’m fine’ she is not fine
13. How to put up a shelf
Why would I ever need to put up a shelf?
14. How to polish his shoes
Life Hack: use Vaseline… cheaper and does the same job as the expensive stuff with out the mess.
15. How to give a confident handshake
Depends… do we shake, high five, give dap? So embarrassing I usually just leave my hands in my pockets!
16. How many inches are in a foot
I taught first grade. I know this one.
17. When to accept defeat and apologize
What am I the general of the British Army during the Revolutionary War?
18. Know the offside rule
Football yes… hockey I’m not so sure.
19. The year England won the World Cup
I’d just use a phone a friend. Speed Dial #5 Adam
20. How to do his own laundry
There’s only two things I hate more than doing laundry: Raking leaves and Painting. If I could I’d leave everything in the dryer and just wear it out of there.
21. How to fix a bike puncture
Buy a new tire.
22. How to jump start a car
Red to Positive and Black to Negative or Black to Positive and Red to Negative. 50/50 shot each time.
23. How to parallel park
Drove in NY enough to be able to do it. However, it usually results in a scratched up passenger side rim.
24. The difference between ale and lager
Def. got this one.
25. The best way to carve meat
Cut against the grain… more tender meat less stringy and tough.
26. His own height
6′ on the dot
27. How to drive in snow
Yea… pray the other people don’t crash in to me because they are driving like idiots.
28. What wires represent earth, live and neutral
See question #11.
29. How to introduce himself
My legend proceeds me.
30. His parents’ address
Yes. Love the gimmies.
31. What the football scores were at the weekend
Packers are on… that’s what I am watching… any other scores are secondary.
32. How to light a BBQ
Propane tank, turn the knob, hit the switch
33. When a woman says ‘Do what you want’ do not do what you want
This one I know… this one I’ve lived… this one I’ve screwed up numerous times.
34. How to change oil
I went to college so I don’t have to change my own oil. Jax will too.
35. What the biggest recent football trades are
NFL and Fantasy related.
36. How to build a fire
Love fire. Call Jay.
37. Which way is north
Never – Eat- Soggy- Waffles.
38. How to use the contents of the toolbox
As long as they don’t run off power than I can use them
39. How to tune in a telly
Switch to Direct TV, no issues.
40. How many miles are left after the gas light appears
Some of the most stressful driving miles ever!
41. How to fix a toilet
Plunger fixes everything toilet related right?
42. How to put someone in a recovery position
This sounds dirty. I’m not teaching Jax anything about this!
43. His personal alcohol limits
Jax don’t drink until you are 30
44. Change a battery on a car
Free battery service at Auto Zone.
45. How to get a car unstuck
46. The words to the national anthem
Yes, and the Pledge of Allegiance and America the Beautiful too.
47. How to change a diaper
Pro… its like I’m in the pits. Can change a diaper before the checkered flag is out.
48. How to perform CPR
49. How to put up a tent
Not a chance. I’ve left a campsite and gone to a hotel because I couldn’t get help to put up the tent.
50. Who are favorites to win the Super Bowl