Brothers: Best Friends, Worst Enemies and the Greatest Inventors 

​Brothers are best friends and worst enemies… strongest ally and biggest rival. I know… I have one, I live that so called “sibling rivalry.” I’ve made him eat dirt and thrown him through a wall (literally through) and he broke my nose. I also would want him by my side if there was something going down (unless Chuck Norris or Conor McGregor were available). Now I get to watch two brothers play this game of sibling chess from the outside looking in. 

Everyone gave the warnings, “expect the worst. Jax is going to regress, he’s going to be full of anger and jealousy. He’ll be completely uninterested in the baby… he won’t understand the change. The first time they meet Jax might hit him.” 

There were nerves all around that day in the nursery. We set the meet and greet up w caution and care. It was like setting your best friend up on a blind date. “Dont worry, it’ll be great, he’ll totally get you!” “You guys will hit it off right off the bat.” “Just be yourself and it’ll all be fine.”

Rewind 30+ years ago… I’m told I didn’t handle the situation very well. My little brother didn’t get such a warm welcome upon his entry into this world. But that was short lived. We enjoyed a ton of fun, experienced many life altering situations and caused/got into our fair share of trouble. From snake attacks, to the steam roller, to the babysitter who sprayed potpourri everywhere, enduring bringing home another sibling… this time a sister, to pillow wars on thanksgiving resulting in vomiting turkey and stuffing everywhere… to running the courts in the Bronx with the “neighborhood ‘friends’ who carried knives”… to car clubs and booming systems and holding each other’s blocks at the starting line and winning gold and setting hurdle records togethercollege roommates… well that’s another story. Let’s just say a Britney Spears poster, a comforter and a gallon of spackle saved us a lot of money that year. However, I’m pretty sure the best thing to come out of our relationship was the invention of the Olympic pending sport “All Out Basketball.” Imagine living in the northeast where winter pretty much kills the idea of playing basketball on outdoor courts… even with a shovel and some ice melt… there no way to have a “real game.” Dribbling is impossible, there’s no traction and the backboard can shatter with one erratic shot. 

Enter… ALL OUT BASKETBALL. A basketball based, rugby, football hybrid. It’s designed for icy backyard courts and is best played when wearing boots and 14 layers of clothing. It allows the competitors to combine the best parts of all three sports and is perfect for brothers because of its violent nature. No dribbling and a hoop low enough to dunk like you were Vince Carter in his early days (NOTE: Just for clarification… I could dunk on a 10 foot rim too). The game was played on a shotty shoveled outdoor court and competitors benefited from a slightly deflated ball (we were the Tom Brady of the neighborhood) and often resulted in ripped snow pants and fractured limbs. But it was fun… and Vinny and I are still holding out hopes the IOC will adopt it for the 2018 Winter Olympics. 

Fast forward, back to February 2017… a dimly lit nursery on a cold and snowy (ironic) day. Jackson carefully selected a present for his new little brother and partner in crime. Although his first choice of a Sudoku book, was not the best pick… the blue puppy stuffed animal was perfect. He repeated, “Me hug, kiss baby Ollie.” The whole way down the hallway and up the elevator… although he had time to spell his name and count to ten for the lady who didn’t think he could find the D button for her on the elevator.  

Honestly, I’m not sure who was more excited me the first time I met Rickey Henderson or the first time Jackson met his brother Oliver. The look of excitement and honestly… the look of love was immediate (I say love because I want to believe it was love and not the look of trouble). Jackson presented Ollie with the stuffed animal he picked out and Oliver gave Jax a present too… a recycled Christmas gift that Santa had left behind… an Olaf talking figure. It was love at first sight, and he liked Oliver too. 

The meeting wasn’t long, it didn’t need to be. It was the perfect amount of hugs, kisses and questions. Jackson talked about Oliver the entire ride home, all night and all the next day until he got to hug and kiss baby Ollie again. Jackson met his new best friend and Oliver met his new body guard. As a dad you can’t ask for much more. 

Here’s to hoping these two invent something together as cool, if not cooler, than “All Out Basketball!”

A Dad’s First Steps (A Research Article)

These days people are trying to see what it’s like to be someone else… Put on a “disguise”, be an “undercover boss,” and you even hear about movie stars dressing up as their characters for upcoming roles… Well I think it’s time I did some research for this blog and for parents everywhere.  It’s time to “walk a mile in my son’s shoes.” (I mean that figuratively of course bc I wouldn’t be caught in those Stride Rite’s)

As Jax begins his journey walking I wanted to get a feel for the nervousness, excitement and determination it takes a 13 month old to continue getting up fall after fall. And that I did…

This is a classic example of a dad trying to be cool. “No, no really I got this… I don’t need any help.” Immediately followed by a fall to my death or worse torn suit pants. There’s no doubting the confidence that was gained from the first two or three successful steps on those stilts. I had confidence coming in waves… only to end in disaster.

How much would you have paid to be one of the lucky ones to see this clown fall?

Look, at some point you have to just realize walking just isn’t for you any more… especially when you are facedown on a cold role floor. There are only a finite number of high pressure steps one person can navigate through before succumbing to gravity… and I hit my quota pretty early on.

The look that says, “ohh crap Ijust killed my boss!”

At this point I felt like a horse who just needed to be taken out to pasture and put out of his misery… Please just drop a sheet over me and go on with your day.

Luckily this kid has a better sense of balance than his father as he learns to maneuver through the world using his new found mode of transportation.  Yes he may look like a drunken sailor and yes he may look like his knees don’t work when he walks… But at least he’s better at it than his dad… And at least now his dad knows the pain of learning to walk again.

A split for the ages… Glad that hurdling flexibility is still coming in handy.  

Random 3AM Dad Thoughts

No crying baby… No barking dogs… No fireworks… And I’m wide awake.

Tonight’s brain wave activity is at an AllTime high.

Thoughts over the last 45 minutes:

-I’m in the mood to floss my teeth
-Why can’t I get this one booger out of my nose
-how old will I be when Jax has kids
-is it still snowing
-why did I have that last glass of red wine
-how do you get a verified twitter account
-I know that booger is in there somewhere, I can feel it move every time I breathe
-can dogs floss their teeth
-is Steve Martin still alive
-should I build a basketball court in the backyard
-the damn pine trees I planted in August are sagging again
-is it too early for coffee
-I need a tissue
-what’s for breakfast
-I need to pee again
-I want a blog follower from Italy
-I wonder if my college track & field “speed suit” uniform still fits
-I miss hurdling
-will Jax play baseball or run track
-Am I at the age where I should start wearing a robe more often
-does the aluminum foil hat Mel Gibson wears in signs really work
-where did that booger go
-Why am I awake………………….

PS: I did look good in that speed suit!

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