Peggy Ann McKay, Jr

Sick

By Shel Silverstein

“I cannot go to school today,”
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox
And there’s one more–that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut–my eyes are blue–
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke–
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is–what?
What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G’bye, I’m going out to play.

Great poem, fun to read, makes all the kids in your class laugh during a read aloud. Let’s break this poem down Common Core style.

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.RL.4.2
Determine a theme of a story, drama, or poem from details in the text; summarize the text.

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.RL.4.5
Explain major differences between poems, drama, and prose, and refer to the structural elements of poems (e.g., verse, rhythm, meter) and drama (e.g., casts of characters, settings, descriptions, dialogue, stage directions) when writing or speaking about a text.

By first read this poem utilizes a few common literary devises. The first and most obvious being hyperbole. This first rhetorical devise is used by an author as a way to evoke strong feelings through over exaggeration. This whole poem is riddled with these exaggerated phrases. for example;

“My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.”

In this section of this poem, hyperbole is used to exaggerate how her tongue is so swollen.

The second literary device used by Shel Silverstein is a more basic one… the simile, in which one thing in the poem compares to something else. A perfect example of this is, “My tonsils are as big as rocks.” We’ve all had a sore throat, but not as bad as Peggy Ann McKay… who’s throat is so bad it feels like her tonsils are the size of boulders when she swallows.

The third literary device Mr. Silverstein used to support Peggy’s complaints in this poem was rhyme scheme. Rhyme scheme is a poet’s purposeful pattern of lines that rhyme with the following lines. The rhyme and meter, helps to make a poem musical.

“My neck is stiff, my spine is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.”

The analysis above looks at what makes this poem so enjoyable, easy to read and listen to and most of all humorous. Humorous, that is, unless you’re Oliver (or his parents for that matter). We use this poem more for a check list to diagnose our littlest guy than we do for a good laugh.

I’m not sure what happened over the last six months; I don’t know if he needs to be put in a bubble or what, but he is a giant walking germ. We’ve gone from a cough and fever to a cold, to a virus, to the dreaded toddler pneumonia.

Poor Ollie’s tired all day, but he can’t fall asleep,

His head is hot, and he’s curled up in a big heap.

I’m pretty sure there’s something in his ear,

I don’t even think he can hear.

Shel Silverstein I’m not (clearly from the stanza above), but I’m pretty sure we are raising the second coming of Peggy Ann Mckay. Let’s just hope he feels better this weekend…

Wait… You say today is… Saturday? Crap, he’s still not okay!

An Unexpected Trip

A couple of weeks ago I got a scary call.  We’ve been to the hospital before… heck Jax was born in a hospital… shocking development I know.  But two Mondays ago an unexpected emergency trip by ambulance to the hospital was one of the scariest days of my life. Getting a call from Stephanie at 4:00, while I am at work and over an hour away, in which she tells me that Jackson is on his way to CCMC by ambulance was not the news any parent wants to receive. Needless to say my ride to Hartford was the longest and shortest ride back from work I’ve had since I started in my new School. 

  • Temp: 102 (98.6 is normal)
  • Oxygen Levels: 81 (98 is normal)
  • Heart Rate: 204 (60-100 is normal

When a pediatrician sees these vitals and then immediately calls an ambulance to take your son to the closest Children’s Medical Center, there is every reason to panic. Seeing your child struggle to breathe has to be one of the most horrible things to watch. Stephanie and Grammy stayed calm for the most part… I on the other hand was close to having a heart attack not knowing what was going on as I sped through traffic on the busiest highway in Connecticut during rush hour. Somehow I made it to the hospital before the ambulance did… flashing lights and sirens and still took them longer to get to the hospital then me… driving from an hour away.

I paced and wandered and looked and waited and paced and paced and paced. Clear and happy thoughts were not something that were floating around in my head. I was nervous… I was scared, but mostly I felt helpless. You have this little human who you are in charge of, you are responsible for and who looks to you for help. 

I spent a lot of that night “trying” to be funny. I made some jokes and laughed a bit with my son. But the humor was just a shield from pain, a costume that showed a stoic face to project a cool, calm and collected parent. But beneath that was hiding the true sadness and fear of not knowing what was going on. Spending most of my life as the “fixer” makes situations like these even more difficult to deal with. 

No this wasn’t (or didn’t at least seem to be) a life threatening visit to the hospital, but anxiety still runs rampant at times like these. At least for me. Although Jackson is almost three at this point, there are still so many firsts to still deal with. This first ambulance ride to the hospital is one I won’t soon forget. 

Jackson is fine, recovering from pneumonia and a viral infection in his lungs… (nothing lots of fluids, lots of Peppa Pig reruns and extra hugs couldn’t take care of). We wound up getting out of the hospital around midnight that night. As I reflect on how lucky we are to have our little man back up to speed and feeling good again, I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you how freaked out I was at the time. 

Everyone from the EMTs to the staff at CCMC was AMAZING… caring, responsive and understanding. They catered on Jax in his elf PJs like he was a king. Whether it was bringing him toys to play with, crayons or sneaking him extra apple juice and graham crackers… thank you for caring for my son… and keeping this dad calm and out of the hospital himself. 

The Quickest ER in town

img_1682The hospital is always a scary place to visit. Whether it’s as a visitor or as a patient. Let alone when your the visitor and you’re two year old is the patient.

We had a bit of a scare Saturday morning. He woke up at about 12:30 coughing and wheezing like crazy. But, it was the screaming and crying that was worrisome. It’s panic mode when you can’t get them to stop. After about an hour we were able to calm him down and he fell back asleep, “spread eagle style,” wheezing but sleeping just the same.Then about 2:30 he woke up again and was having trouble breathing with a horrible cough again. The cough seemed to spread deeper in his chest the more worked up he became.

At this point it was hospital or bust. The kid took it like a champ. By the time we were on our way home he was 1 ice pop and 8 mL of steroids. He was happy, I was literally exhausted to the point of no return and he was now pumped full of hyper enduring drugs. Luckily, the energy that spread throughout the house like wildfire, died down just enough for dad and mom to get a quick power nap.  

The Doctor’s Office Christmas Shop

So exactly a year to the day of not having any XMAS shopping done and here I sit again with so much crap to do (only I write this time from a chair in a walk in clinic waiting room since I still can’t shake this cough caused by my self-diagnosed Ebola issues). 

Last year I was panicking from inside a sardine packed Target store… Now I’m panicking inside a packed doctors office… Which has signs posted warning other humans of my contagiousness:     

  The dirty looks people are giving me as I cough up my insides resemble what a mall Santa might look like if I say on his lap and asked for a back rub. Shit is getting weird in here right now… I’m pretty sure someone just asked if the CDC is open on XMAS.  

As I sit here, I’m wondering why this doctors’ office can’t give out stickers that let others know I actually don’t have an infectious disease like CCMC used to do for me during my daily visits last year… “No ma’am I haven’t traveled outside the United States since yesterday afternoon.”   

Here’s the issue… Ebola or not… I need to get some damn shopping done… STAT!  Santa has a lot going on this year.  I can’t sit around and rely on him to fulfill everyone’s list this year.  I gotta get out there and get some things for people.  I wish there was a gift shop here so I could get the rest of my shopping done.  I mean everyone would probably love one of those hospital teddy bears and helium filled heart balloons right?    

 Since that’s not happening let’s all thank the the Christmas miracle of Amazon.com… Let’s just hope Santa doesn’t mind stopping in Hoboken (I think that’s where Amazin’s where house is located) for a last minute overnight delivery pickup.  
For a reminder at last years idiotic XMAS Eve debockle shopping experience click here:  https://newdadchronicles.wordpress.com/2014/12/24/december-24th-time-to-start-xmas-shopping/Dec 24th, 2015 XMAS Shopping

It’s Getting Hot in Here: Oregon Trail Style

This isn’t one of those blog post where I’m looking for some kind of sympathy or an answer or anything… not that I usually do that anyway… but about two nights ago Steph and I got woken up by what sounded like a barking seal followed by an absurd amount of screaming.  So either someone from Maritime Aquarium Center was up in the spare bedroom training for a new seal circus show or something was definitely wrong with Jackson.
It’s a little scary when you can’t get your little one to calm down knowing that the more excited he gets… the more worked up he gets… the worse he sounds.   I get the whole ignore him when he’s crying in his crib for a little bit and let him put himself to sleep but this was definitely different.  There was something that wasn’t right. I’ve never heard a cough like this before in my life.  I know I’ve heard of different types of coughs such is the “whopping cough”… but all I remember about that is people dying from it on the Oregon Trail computer game.  I also remember hearing something about “croup”… which definitely sounds more like a southern HipHop dance style that a cough.
So of course with me not being able to calm him down mommy comes into the room in a panic and all of a sudden everything that we’ve learned or dealt with over the past 10 months flies out the window.  It’s like we completely forgot to be parents.  So of course we take the contacting the mommy and daddy Facebook friends to get some advice.  We also turned the 24 hour advice nurse at our pediatrician.

Doesn’t matter who or where it came from… It was the same result… steam up the bathroom and sit in there with them for 20 minutes.  Which doesn’t seem like a big deal or a lot of work until you realize that the shower head is being replaced in my bathroom.  And I had just finished regrouting Stephanie’s bathroom shower tile.
The decision was made and a second regrout and will be necessary.  So there we are two grown adults and a 10-month-old sitting inside of the sauna.  I mean literally got to the point where sweat was dripping off of my face and I wound up having to take off my shirt and socks.  Time felt like it was moving in slow-motion. I think we need made it to 18 minutes before Steph and I were about to pass out.  Jax came out of the steam room with a bright red face, disheveled hair and the same sounding cough!
Fast forward five hours through intermittent coughing, a panicky mom and two restless dogs and you have the rest of my night!  In the morning the doctor confirmed that Jax has “croup.”  Really?  Wow… total surprise!
We now have a ten month old on PrednisonePrednisone… STEROIDS!  Kid will be playing third base for the Yankees and a home run champion in no time!

 

I swear Mr. Selig, I didn’t know they were steroids. Someone gave them to me; thought they were dietary supplements!

This blog entry has been featured on Honustmum.com as a Brilliant Blog Post.

This blog entry has been featured on Honustmum.com as a Brilliant Blog Post.

Santa vs He Who Must Not Be Named

Christmas Eve day and my kid is sick. I’m quite sure this is the real Fragola Family Christmas tradition. Without a doubt, every single Christmas I was sick.

*There was the year I was so out of it that I opened presents from my deathbed (the couch) while Uncle Vinny and Auntie Tricia handed me presents.
*There was the year I had strep throat and a fever during Christmas Eve mass.
*Of course there was the year Santa brought me the sony home stereo with dual tape decks and I was too sick to weak to walk down to the basement to see it all set up.
*And who could forget the year I spent the majority of Christmas puking and had a handful of Imodium as my Xmas dinner.

I’ll say this though, when it comes to being sick I’m a big baby… Stuffy nose? I’m dying. Upset stomach? I have the plague. Fever and a cough? Just fill out my death certificate now.

But Jax… This kid is a trooper. He sounds like Voldemort with all his wheezing… But he’s not letting anything stand in his way of his first Christmas. Stay strong little man… Stay strong!