Stages of a Snow Day for a New Parent

Stage 1: Denial

If you are a teacher, principal or anything relating to school, when you hear the forecast predict snow you immediately turn in to an eight year old!  Cautious pessimism exudes from your body!  You’re eyes are literally pasted to the TV… you flip from channel  61 to 3 to 4 to see if all the meteorologists are saying the same thing!  However, you know that there’s no way you’ll have off… maybe a delay you try to convince yourself… if you’re lucky.  You begin your snow dance superstition routine.  I have teacher friends who flush ice cubes down the toilet, put a white crayon in the freezer and wear their PJs inside out and backwards.  But in the back of your head, you know you’ll be up early writing lesson plans.

Stage 2: Excitement

Snow cancelations begin to show up on the news.  The first few flakes start to fall… It’s going to happen.  The first few moments are amazing; your mind is going 1000 miles per hour as you begin to think about all the great things you can get done around the house and how amazing it will be to spend the whole day with your nine month old son!  Wife and husband are high fiving each other with excitement for the great day ahead!

Stage 3: The Calm Before the Storm (no pun intended)

The baby is quietly entertaining himself on his play mat with a few of his favorite QUIET toys.  The dogs are sitting nicely at his side keeping an eye on things.  Husband and wife are sitting next to each other drinking a cup of coffee and enjoying each other’s company. You’ve now watched seven episodes of Peppa Pig.  There is not a chance you are going to be able to get to everything you wanted to today because the little one is crazy fussy this AM, but that is OK… because you have the day off.  Take it slow today you tell yourself… you’ll still get a lot done.

Stage 4: Stress

Things are getting a bit hairy.  Mom and dad walk by each other and shoot dirty looks back and forth, baby is screaming and the dogs have pooped in the house numerous times because they refuse to go outside in the storm.  You are now inventing chores to do around the house and handing the baby off like a QB to a running back in half hour shifts.  There has to be some more toys that haven’t been opened and played with yet from Christmas.

Stage 5: Anger

Baby is teething… the crying, runny nose, rosy cheeks and constant sneezing are causing both parents to lose their mind!  Mom is sitting on the rocking chair rocking herself back and forth with her eye mask over her bloodshot eyes.  Dad is outside snow blowing the neighbors driveways in order to stay out of the house for a few minutes more.  The dogs are lost in the snow track that dad cleared in the front yard and there’s a chance they would rather build and live in an igloo out there than go back into the house of horrors!

Stage 6:  Acceptance

You’ve come to the realization that even though you love your family more than your life itself, that it is OK to take a break from them every once and a while.  The small things become big things when you are trapped in the house like in “The Day After Tomorrow.”  You are comfortable knowing that it’s been a long two weeks with multiple snow days.  Everyone takes a deep breath and begins to reassemble in the family room.

Stage 7: Relief

Everyone is back to normal… its bedtime.  Baby is feeling a bit better after his bath and mom and dad are no longer attempting to trip each other in the hallway.  The icicles have melted from the dogs beards and everyone is sitting down in the nursery listening to a story.  Hugs and kisses all around… that is until you hear it’s going to snow again on Thursday!

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Snow, Sledding and Fear Mongering

This weekend Jax took part in a winter right of passage.  His first time out in the snow in his little toboggan. The first sledding experience of a child’s life is one of the most exciting events of growing up.

He was elated, then nervous, then elated again, then nervous… etc, etc, etc.  But that is what makes sledding so fun.  The no-nonsense, need for speed thrill of a ride down a hill steeper than anything you can see on a ski mountain.

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I’m concerned though.  Not concerned for his well being because he might get injured speeding down a hill with only a a little piece of plastic between him and his rear end… I’m concerned that sledding is becoming nonexistent in today’s society.  How and why this is happening I am not sure.  But when I was a kid and the snow started coming down my brother sister and I were polishing up our sleds and lining our boots with plastic bags!  …what do you mean you never put plastic bags over your socks?  Your mom didn’t tell you everyone did that to keep their socks dry?  That’s fine you enjoy your soggy, cold socks… because my little tater tots were warm and cozy!

The hill on Chimney Drive was a thing of legend.  It was busier than a Stop and Shop the day before a blizzard.  It ran like a well oiled machine… down the hill on the left and the middle… and back up the hill on the right.  The middle of the hill was reserved for dare devils… with jumps built for getting more air than the General Lee.  There was no concern for personal safety… there were no worries of broken limbs or concussions… only hopes and dreams of being the first person to get so much speed that your snow tube would take you down the hill and into the stream that ran through the woods!

Speaking of snow tubes… they are the most underrated form of transportation in the world.  If I could I’d take one to work.  Just a beautiful, smooth ride through and through… and you know everyone who had to use the little plastic saucer was always so jealous when we showed up with our pool tubes that doubled as a snow mobile!

I feel like kids these days are either too busy playing Minecraft or not allowed to go sledding because their parents are afraid they might get hurt… I saw a child last winter sledding down a hill in my neighborhood with a helmet and elbow pads… come on Barry Bonds… take off some of that body armor and live a little!  Why is everyone so afraid over everything now-a-days?????

With the impending storm on its way to CT in a few hours… you can bet your bottom dollar (what the hell does that even mean?!!) that Jax and I will be out there sledding… maybe we’ll just hold off on the hills for a few more years though.

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