Seven years ago Steph and I put Jax on the bus for his first day of preschool and the first- first days have just keep on coming since then. “The Mayor” of his elementary school, as he was fondly known, is now walking through the doors into the world of middle school where the kids are bigger, the work is harder and the recess is shorter. Jackson’s First Day of Middle School is going to be an emotional one (probably more for mom and dad, and a little brother being left behind in elementary school).
Yet, Jax is ready. He’s always ready, he’s the bravest person I know and that’s the truth. There is literally nothing that I can imagine he couldn’t do. From school, to sports to programming the new electronic devices to work off our Alexa App, this kid is a genius. I know he’s set to conquer the world, but is it wrong that I AM NOT READY FOR THAT YET!!!
I am not ready for my NOT SO LITTLE, little man to have a locker and take the bus an hour before his little brother. I’m not ready for him to not need me to help him pack a lunch, or pick out his clothes… (who the hell and I kidding, he won’t do either of those things regardless). Except this time it’s a little different. Middle school feels older, like if you could look at the school as a symbol or growing into yourself and becoming more independent… middle school is the begging of that journey for our kids and in the case our first.
This summer Jax and I spent a lot of time together. With a new job much closer to home and me coaching him in football we have had the ability to do that. I hope in that time I’ve been able to let him know how how incredibly proud of him I am. I hope I did enough to remind him that it’s okay to make mistakes, because each mistake is a chance to learn and grow.
Then again, with more time spent together there’s always more time for frustration with each other. I think that’s fairly normal for a family. However, I hope when I was frustrated with him I haven’t ever quelled his curiosity, or made him him feel he can’t ask questions. I want him to never be afraid to seek help when he needs it and most importantly to help others when they need it as well.
There’s no kinder heart, no more resiliently strong and willed child than my… not so little guy… my middle schooler. Jax, You have always shown kindness, resilience, and a strong work ethic, and I know you’ll continue to shine in these new surroundings. Embrace the new friendships you’ll make, and always be yourself. While I love watching you grow, I wouldn’t mind these first- first days to slow down a bit.
PS: As the boys were falling asleep last night, Oliver whispered from the bottom bunk, “Jax I’m going to miss you being at school with me.”
Sorry Sons: Chronicles of a New Dad 