5.12.14- Things That Did Not Happen Last Night

-I didn’t forget to put the toilet seat down
-Buster didn’t drink said toilet water
-I didn’t watch as you stuck your foot in your poopy diaper
-I didn’t laugh after you stuck said foot in your poopy diaper
-I didn’t get peed on
-I didn’t taste breast milk
-I didn’t “by accident” wipe your butt with the completely untrue onesie that says “dad may know a lot, but mom knows everything”
-I didn’t consider using breast milk in my coffee when I realized we had no regular milk left

Remember Jax… None of these happened!