#BackToHogwarts (again)

Another year another September 1 and I still haven’t received my Hogwarts letter. It’s fine I’m really fine I’m not crying inside the Harry Potter- Cupboard Under the Stairs that I built for my children.

Every year September 1st rolls around, I tweet the same thing to JK Rowling “Dear @jk_rowling any advice for parents sending their little ones to #Hogwarts for the first time?!?? #BackToHogwarts”. I never get a response or any advice from her, so Stephanie and I have to do our best as Muggles to figure out the whole Platform 9 3/4 thing. It’s not easy… but we do it anyway. It’s for the kids, right?

I’m not sure anyone realizes how much work and stress that Back To Hogwarts day is for us parents. It’s hard enough sending your five-year-old off to kindergarten for his first day when the school is right down the road, try sticking them on a magical train with only some old lady as a chaperone. I mean let’s face it Hogwarts isn’t the most safe place for kids. It doesn’t have the most danger-free reputation.

The good thing is Harry Potter is long gone from the Gryffindor Common Room. I get it, Harry didn’t mean to be an black cloud waiting to rain on everyone’s parade, but he definitely was. A murderous nemesis, a giant snake, detentions for all his friends? Not enough? How about dragons that attack children or the fact that the shambles was left in shambles after his last visit. The kid was a disaster waiting to happen.

Now, we are supposed to show at Platform 9 3/4 and act like it’s no big deal? And just because he saved the Wizarding world we are all just supposed to assume that everything is ok? But I digress… bottom line, another September 1st has come and I still can’t get any advice from anyone… I mean even Dumbledore met Harry at King’s Cross and he was dead… come on Joanne… help a parent out!!!

Also while we’re at it Mrs. Rowling… can you please do a guest spot on MuggleCast?!??

Top Ten Ways You Know You’re Obsessed With Harry Potter

Are you Harry Potter obsessed?  Are you a Potterhead?  If so, then get your quill ready to check off each item below… if you find at least 8/10 of these apply to you, then I’d say you’re well on your way to receiving your Hogwarts letter:

10. You own multiple copies of each book.

Regular Editions, Ten and Twenty Year Anniversary Editions, Special Cover Edition, Re-ReReleased Extra New Art Editions with a forward from J.K. Rowling’s editor’s granddaughter… we’ve seen them all… and we own them all. If it’s reprinted we’re rebuying!

9. You make sure other people enjoy the series as much as you do\

When you watch the movies with someone else, you watch them to make sure they laugh and cry at the right parts! It’s critical they other see the series exactly like you do! If they don’t cry when (SPOILER ALERT) Hedwig dies they need to be disowned from your life!

8. You have your own Harry Potter Shrine

Your office, bedroom or bookshelf is a museum of all things Harry Potter. Legos, Funko Pop! Buttons and stickers. If it’s HP related you have it on display!

7. Harry Potter Tattoos anyone? 

Whether it’s the obligatory All Was Well… or a basic Always, or something much more complex… every obsessed potter fan has or wants a Harry Potter Tattoo.

6. You listen to a Potter Podcast

If your ear buds are in I bet you’re listening to Mugglecast or The Leaky Cauldron. If not go download them now… Tell Andrew Sims I sent you!

5. The only reason you exercise is to earn your Potter related race medals

Virtual races are all the rage today, and for good reason. The proceeds raised go to charity and your race race hardware are Harry Potter themed. MILES MANAGED!!!

4. You’ve dressed your kids/pets up as Harry Potter characters

There’s only two reasons to have children. The first is to have them do chores and house work for you. The second… of course it’s to wrap them up in a cute Gryffindor scarf or capture them wearing the sorting hat.

3. You’ve been sorted into one of the Hogwarts Houses

Every Potter obsessed fan knows their house… and they are steadfast in their house loyalty. Hopefully those pesky Pottermore quizzes sorted you into the house you always thought you belonged to. (And no not all Slytherins are bad… I’m not!)

2. You follow J.K. Rowling on twitter

You Tweet at her on a regular basis desperately hoping for her to recognize you. Most of us Potterheads have at least 9 3/4 of our tweets dedicated to tagging or mentioning our author-hero.

1. You encourage (force) your children to love the Potter World as you do.

They don’t really have a choice right? It’s Harry Potter or Fantastic Beasts… those are bedtime books and the only presents they get for holidays are Potter related!

#BabyRappers

Every once and a while Twitter is good for something other than fantasy football news. Last night the term #BabyRappers was trending.

Anyone who knows me knows I love anything rap and hip hop related (especially old school). If you haven’t already check out my HipHop Advice for Jax: https://newdadchronicles.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/advice-for-jax-taken-from-90s-hip-hop/.

Here is a list of some of my #BabyRapper names and some of the best from Twitter:

Salt and Pampers
Smelly Prince of Bel Air
DJ Droolie Jeff
Womb Tang Clan
Three to Six Month Mafia 2MonthOldPac
Kid N Playpen
LL Cool Jax
Notorious J.A.X.

… And here are some of the best from others on Twitter:
@Maggiemayehaha: Rob Bassinet
@Adam_Cozens: KRS-Onsie
@THE_BOONDOCKS: B.O.B the builder
@alikigreeky: Busta Nursery Rhymes
@dantelfer: 50 Centimeters Dilated
@willnoonan: Similacklemore
@tylermorrison1: Birthing Method Man
@keatingthomas: Kid Cuddly
@MELnc: Potty By Nature
@andytwood: Kendrick Lamaze
@tylermorrison1: 2 Live Croup
@kelly_carlin: Chuck D Cheese
@MrTommyCampbell: NWA – Newborns With Attitude
And my personal favorite:
@adamrank: Pediatrician Dre