We Talkin’ bout Practice?!??

So it’s FALL BALL time again. Jax has been honing his skills throughout the summer. We’ve even been watching some games together where he’s able to sit and focus for more than 30 seconds. He loves watching players dive for balls in the field and was excited to start this new baseball season.

I knew I was raising a superstar, but didn’t realize I was raising a superstar DIVA the likes of Keyshawn Johnson or Terrell Owens… or the infamous Allen Iverson

The minute we get to practice he’s tired and thirsty. He just can’t muster up the energy to go to his first warm up station. When the team is throwing balls through a hula hoop he needs to relax on the bench. When the other coaches are throwing grounders he wants to go home.

However, as soon as it’s time to hand in that lineup card this kid is ready to shine. He’s got his helmet on and he’s ready to bat clean up. He’s climbing the dugout fence to cheer on his teammates.

He went 2-2 and got his first hit in real pitch baseball. He’s a natural. He’s an All-Star… he performs best when the lights shine the brightest. (Just don’t ask him to show up for practice).

I assume the conversation he had with Coach Chris went something like this, “We sittin’ in here, I’m supposed to be the franchise player, and we in here talkin’ about practice. I mean listen, we talkin’ ’bout practice. Not a game, not a game, not a game. We talkin’ about practice. Not a game, not a, not a, not the game that I go out there and die for, and play every game like it’s my last. Not the game. We talkin’ bout practice, man. I mean how silly is that? We talkin’ bout practice. I know I’m supposed to be there, I know I’m supposed to lead by example. I know that, and I’m not shovin’ it aside, you know, like it don’t mean anything. I know it’s important, I do. I honestly do.

“But we talkin’ bout practice, man. What are we talkin’ about? Practice? We talkin’ about practice, man. We talk — we talkin’ bout practice. We talkin’ bout practice! We ain’t talkin’ bout the game, we talkin’ bout practice, man. When you come to the game, and you see me play, you see me play, don’t you? You see me give everything I got, right? But we talkin’ bout practice right now.

NBA Play-By-Play from a Three Year Old

While watching our first basketball game together since Jackson started basketball “practice” two weeks ago, I decided to just sit back and listen to his commentary as we watched the Pacers v Cavs game 2 matchups. Some of his comments were responses to a question I may have asked… but most were just spontaneous reactions to the game. (I left out a few random comments that were completely unrelated to the game). Keep in mind he’s not yet three and holds interest in something for approximately 3.5 seconds at a time.

About two minutes into the game, “Throw in hoop, YEAH!!!” This occurred after a Lebron James basket and took a few minutes for me to convince Jackson that even though the ball went in this wasn’t a good thing for our team. 

Watching a Cavs player getting ready to check in at the scorers table blowing in his hand, “That man did toots, smells stinky.”

As Kevin Seraphine is rejected on a dunk attempt, I cringe and Jax replies, “Almost!”

After watching Lebron complain on a missed shot thinking he was fouled, Don’t worry. Don’t worry. No, No sad. It’s ok.”

C.J. Miles passes up a wide-open shot, and Jackson comments, “Shoot the ball man.” This is now my favorite Jackson comment of all time. You literally can’t get anymore blunt than telling the guy that gets paid millions of dollars to to just shoot the ball than to literally tell him to shoot the ball.   

Watching s bunch of players standing around as the ball just bounces off the rim a few times, “Ohh no. Why no big man help shoot hoop.” Again Jax, great question, because every time the ball comes off the glass or rim I cringe. It’s like 12 Cavs rebounding with maybe one Pacers player attempting to go after the ball. 

Richard Jefferson catches a wide-open rebound as it basically falls into his hands and Jackson yells, “old man.” I guess I need to take the blame here as I was yelling OLD MAN as he entered the game in hopes I could get Jax to repeat it. 

After a second turnover in a row, Jackson completely unprompted starts chanting shoot it and clapping his hands.

Half time was a opportunity for the Pacers to regroup, unfortunately it was also the time for our little NBA play by play announcer to go to bed. Maybe this is the start of a blossoming phase of communication for Jax. Maybe he just needed to get the opportunity to provide color commentary for an NBA Playoff Game.
One can only wonder what inspired this Craig Seagar like NBA breakdown. No matter what, he was more entertaining than Charles Barkley… and definitely was more articulate than Shaq.